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	<title>Inside the mind of an unknown comedian</title>
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		<title>Here&#8217;s looking at you kid</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/heres-looking-at-you-kid/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:33:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I have one days more grace from school as it is teacher training today and as agency staff I&#8217;m not required, but it does mean I get to do this blog post in the morning, which means you don&#8217;t have to wait as long for to read the hilarious things [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=512&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_515" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 240px"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2011/nov/22/one-man-two-guvnors-review"><img class="size-full wp-image-515" title="jamescorden" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/jamescorden.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">James Corden in One Man Two Guvnors</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I have one days more grace from school as it is <strong>teacher training</strong> today and as <strong>agency staff</strong> I&#8217;m not required, but it does mean I get to do this blog post in the morning, which means you don&#8217;t have to wait as long for to read the hilarious things I&#8217;ve been up to.</p>
<p>Starting last <strong>Monday</strong>, when I did my first <strong>stand up</strong> gig in years. I might be biased but I thought it went well. It helped having friends  in the audience supporting me,  if nothing else it made it a fun night out, with <strong>5 mins</strong> of work. What I realised from doing the gig, is that I don&#8217;t need to do stand up. One of the things that would make me do more stand up gigs is my desire to crack/master it, if you can ever master stand up.</p>
<p>Talking of gigs, I will be doing<strong> a rare poetry gig</strong> this <strong>Thurs</strong>, <strong>23rd Feb</strong>. It&#8217;s part of  the poetry night <strong>Bang Said The Gun</strong>, which is the <strong>liveliest</strong> poetry night I&#8217;ve ever been to. I&#8217;m one of the two <strong>guest performers</strong>, doing <strong>15-20 mins</strong> of my <strong>funny/silly</strong> poems. The night takes place at the<strong> Roebuck pub</strong>, 50 Great Dover St (nearest tube <strong>Borough</strong>). It starts at <strong>8pm</strong> and is<strong> £5</strong> in.</p>
<p>On <strong>Tuesday</strong>, what with it being Valentine&#8217;s<strong> &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;</strong> and I went to see <strong>Casablanca</strong>. It was an enjoyable film and <strong>funnier</strong> than I thought it was. I assumed it would be more <strong>schmaltzy</strong>. At the end of the film the audience applauded. I don&#8217;t know if this was because we were watching an old film and people felt respectful by osmosis or because the cinema was on the trendy Southbank. There was something weird clapping,<strong> 1)</strong> a film and <strong>2)</strong> a film that was made years ago but having thought about it, <strong>is it any weirder than grown men shouting at a TV screen whilst watching football in the pub?</strong></p>
<p>On <strong>Thursday</strong>, we went to see<strong> One Man, Two Guvnors</strong>, which again was good fun, &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; described it as<strong> pantomime for adults</strong> (in a good way). We were right at the back of the theatre, i.e. there were no seats behind us. We were so high up, that at one point air traffic control tried to guide us down. However, being so high up did mean there was no chance of getting chosen to do any<strong> audience participation</strong>, which shows there are advantages of <strong>cheap seats</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> to <strong>Twitter</strong> where I got my first person from the <strong>adult film industry</strong> following me. I assumed she was from that industry due to the address of her website, yet her tweets were quite <strong>beautiful</strong> and <strong>poetic</strong>. Just for the record, I never checked out her website, partly because we have been recently been between <strong>virus checkers</strong> and partly because &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; wouldn&#8217;t have been happy. Anyway, now we have installed a new virus checker but unfortunately she no longer follows me. <strong>Them&#8217;s the breaks</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>Til next week, stay safe!</strong></p>
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		<title>Entertaining the nation</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/entertaining-the-nation/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/entertaining-the-nation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:46:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/?p=507</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I am on half-term, woohoo! I don&#8217;t know if it is psychological or coincidence but half-term always seems to come at the right time, ie when I&#8217;m knackered. As an experiment it would be interesting if the school didn&#8217;t tell me when half-term was to see if I was as [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=507&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_509" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 204px"><a href="http://www.southlondonguide.co.uk/foresthill/barsandpubs.htm"><img class="size-full wp-image-509" title="hob" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/hob.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The Hob, Forest Hill</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I am on <strong>half-term</strong>, woohoo! I don&#8217;t know if it is <strong>psychological</strong> or <strong>coincidence</strong> but half-term always seems to come at the right time, ie when <strong>I&#8217;m knackered</strong>. As an experiment it would be interesting if the school didn&#8217;t tell me when half-term was to see if I was as tired when it comes round. Or do I feel tired because I know it&#8217;s coming and so I <strong>mentally limp over the line</strong>.</p>
<p>It probably didn&#8217;t help that, last <strong>Thurs</strong> I was out doing a <strong>3 Prong Attack</strong> gig (my double act) and so got in late, I suppose these are the sacrifices I make to <strong>entertain the nation</strong> (or the upstairs of a pub in <strong>North London</strong>). To be fair to the gig<strong> &#8216;Free and Funny&#8217;</strong> at the<strong> Camden Head</strong>, we have played it <strong>3 times</strong> and it has always been <strong>packed</strong> and always has <strong>quality</strong> acts on. I actually think the line up is too good to be free but what do I know. For those interested, our set was well received which I was pleased with because of the previous two times we&#8217;ve performed there, the <strong>first one</strong> went well and the <strong>second one</strong> was indifferent. Although <strong>Prong 2</strong> thought more positively of the second gig but he is from an acting background so is probably more comfortable with audiences sitting in silence and staring at him.</p>
<p>Talking of gigs, I am doing a rare <strong>stand up gig</strong> tonight, <strong>Mon 13th Feb</strong>, at the <strong>Hob</strong> in <strong>Forest Hill</strong>. If you know anyone in <strong>South London</strong>, let them know. Tis <strong>£3</strong> in and starts at <strong>8pm</strong> (they are pretty prompt with their starts).</p>
<p>As I mentioned at the top of the blog, it is half-term, so I&#8217;ve decided I&#8217;m going to try to do all the things that I had previously intended to do but never got round to doing. You know, all the things that in the week, you put off for the <strong>weekend</strong> and then the weekend comes and you&#8217;re either too busy or can&#8217;t be arsed to do, so you say you will do them one evening in the week and the cycle continues.</p>
<p>Having said all this, I do have a few things on this week, there is the aforementioned<strong> gig tonight</strong>, on <strong>Tuesday</strong> I&#8217;m going to see <strong>Casablanca</strong> (it&#8217;s valentine&#8217;s day) and on <strong>Thurs</strong> we&#8217;re going to see the play, <strong>&#8216;One Man, Two Guvnors&#8217;</strong>. In addition to this<strong> &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;</strong> seems to be creating a list of things for me to do. At this rate by the time half-term is over I will be looking forward to going back to work.</p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> Talking of work, <strong>Weds</strong> will mark my year of <strong>working in schools</strong>. I have to be honest and say for most of my life I&#8217;ve been quite lucky in that I&#8217;ve never had to work continuously for any length of time. I&#8217;ve always just done jobs here and there and living at my mum&#8217;s for longer than society deems acceptable also shielded me from the harsh realities of working life. So I would have to say this year has been the <strong>hardest</strong>, in terms of work. I think the hardest part for me is<strong> managing tiredness</strong>. Every morning I curse when I&#8217;m forced to get up, (in the spirit of fairness I do finish at <strong>3:15)</strong>. Prior to this year I&#8217;ve always thought <strong>I wasn&#8217;t afraid of hard work</strong>, but now I&#8217;m not so sure. I wouldn&#8217;t say I was afraid of hard work, but if hard work was coming towards me late at night, I think I would now cross the road.</p>
<p><strong>Til next time, stay safe!</strong></p>
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		<title>Music to clean to</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/music-to-clean-to/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/music-to-clean-to/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:40:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[inside the mind of an unknown comedian]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/?p=498</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I&#8217;m going to start with some gig news. This Thurs, 9th Feb, the 3 Prong Attack (my double act) are back in action, this time in North London. We are appearing at The Camden Head, as part of their open mic night &#8216;Free and Funny&#8217;, we will be doing 5 [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=498&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_499" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 200px"><a href="http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2011/11/08/call-to-leave-taken-up-by-500-dudley-council-workers/"><img class="size-full wp-image-499" title="dudley council" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/dudley.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Dudley</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to start with some gig news. This <strong>Thurs, 9th Feb</strong>, the<strong> 3 Prong Attack</strong> (my double act) are back in action, this time in <strong>North London</strong>. We are appearing at <strong>The Camden Head</strong>, as part of their open mic night<strong> &#8216;Free and Funny&#8217;</strong>, we will be doing<strong> 5 mins</strong>. The night starts at <strong>8pm</strong>, and is <strong>Free</strong> in, hence the name of the night. You can find The Camden Head at, <strong></strong>2 Camden Walk, N1 8DY. The nearest station is <strong>Angel</strong>. (Please note this venue is <strong>NOT</strong> in Camden despite the name of the pub).</p>
<p>I&#8217;m also doing a rare solo stand up gig <strong>next Monday</strong> at the <strong>Hob</strong>, 7 Devonshire Rd, Forest Hill SE23. Again this is <strong>an open mic</strong> night and I will be doing <strong>5 mins</strong>. It is opposite <strong>Forest Hill</strong> Station. The show starts at <strong>8pm</strong> and is <strong>£3</strong> in.</p>
<p>This gig partially comes about because I decided that I wanted to do at least<strong> one</strong> solo stand up gig this year. I like to set myself <strong>manageable tasks</strong>, mainly because they are by definition manageable. The gig also comes about because Prong 2 couldn&#8217;t do the gig, so this left me. So I&#8217;m kind of doing the gig by default but at least I&#8217;ll have achieved one of my aims for the year and it&#8217;s only <strong>February</strong>.</p>
<p>Talking of manageable achievements. About<strong> five years</strong> ago I started reading<strong> Catch-22</strong> by <strong>Joseph Heller</strong>, I was lead to believe it was a good book and one worth reading but for whatever reason I couldn&#8217;t get into and so I abandoned it, and I hate not finishing books, it makes me feel a little guilty. I know that sounds weird. Anyway, at the time I vowed to read more books and then return to the book when I&#8217;d become a better reader. Well that time has come as this morning I started the book. Let&#8217;s hope I&#8217;m mature enough to handle it now.</p>
<p>The main thing to happen at <strong>work</strong> last week, was that one of the catering staff on hearing my voice said,<strong> &#8220;You must be from Dudley&#8221;</strong>. Dudley!!! Usually I get <strong>Birmingham</strong>, but Dudley is a new one on me, especially as people from Dudley have a stronger midlands accent. Plus it also seems quite specific of him to pinpoint my accent to Dudley. I&#8217;m not sure where he was from, I didn&#8217;t stick around, I was too busy trying to see if I could get him <strong>sacked</strong>. This has made me think I have<strong> two options</strong>, I can either <strong>Manc up</strong>, tips will be gratefully received, or I could try<strong> a new accent</strong>. I was thinking maybe <strong>Scouse</strong> or, <strong>Geordie</strong>, or maybe I should try <strong>Brummie</strong> and perhaps in some reverse logic people will ask,<strong> &#8220;Are you from Wythenshawe&#8221;?</strong></p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong>and on to <strong>domestic duties</strong> and yesterday I found myself doing some <strong>housework</strong>, hoovering and mopping should you need to know, to the soundtrack of <strong>Madonna&#8217;s &#8216;The Immaculate Collection&#8217;</strong>. I started questioning myself as to whether this is acceptable behaviour for a man in his <strong>mid</strong> (to late) <strong>thirties</strong>, who finds himself home alone. Feel free to share your thoughts. I&#8217;ve got to admit Madonna&#8217;s hits made good tidying up music. I think the secret is to go with <strong>uplifting</strong> music. I imagine if you cleaned to <strong>The Smiths</strong> or <strong>Radiohead</strong>, you might not see it through. I&#8217;m thinking <strong>Bob Marley</strong> next time. <strong>Feel free to let me know what music you clean to?</strong></p>
<p>After the cleaning I did go to my local  pub to watch the <strong>football</strong> and <strong>drink pints of lager</strong>. In no way was I trying to cling on to the thin thread of masculinity I have remaining.</p>
<p><strong>Til next time, stay safe!</strong></p>
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		<title>Prison or Peru?</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/prison-or-peru/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/prison-or-peru/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:22:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I&#8217;ve had another varied week. Today at work, for example, I was mistaken for a pupil on two occasions. A couple of weeks ago a female colleague said I didn&#8217;t look older than 24, so maybe I&#8217;m getting younger and younger, just call me, &#8216;Benjamin &#8216;unknown comedian&#8217; Button. In the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=494&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_495" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 151px"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Curious_Case_of_Benjamin_Button_%28film%29"><img class="size-full wp-image-495" title="benbutton" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/benbutton.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Benjamin Button</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve had another varied week. Today at work, for example, I was mistaken for a <strong>pupil</strong> on <strong>two</strong> occasions. A couple of weeks ago a female colleague said I didn&#8217;t look older than <strong>24</strong>, so maybe I&#8217;m getting <strong>younger</strong> and <strong>younger</strong>, just call me, <strong>&#8216;Benjamin</strong> &#8216;unknown comedian&#8217; <strong>Button</strong>.</p>
<p>In the week,<strong> &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;</strong> flew off to <strong>Peru</strong> (for work). The night before her excursion I <strong>&#8216;treated&#8217;</strong> her to <strong>Liverpool Vs Man City</strong> in our local pub. Relationship experts at this point would no doubt bang on about <strong>compromise</strong>, some people would add it shows, &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; in a good light but I&#8217;d like to say this is an example of me playing the long game. Regular readers to this blog will know that in recent weeks, I&#8217;ve sat through an <strong>hour</strong> of <strong>Downton Abbey</strong> and walked round a shopping centre for hours all for &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217;s benefit. The one thing it does show, is that I&#8217;ve definitely not turned into <strong>Milkshake</strong>. (see last week&#8217;s blog post)</p>
<p>Whilst &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; has been in Peru she&#8217;s had a <strong>birthday</strong>, which I think is pretty cool. I&#8217;ve never spent my birthday anywhere exotic or mildly interesting. For the last two birthdays I&#8217;ve spent a huge chunk of the day in <strong>prison</strong> (doing writing workshops) and a few years back, on my birthday, I went to <strong>Sheffield</strong>, with a female poetry collective, Sista Talk, where I did <strong>5mins</strong> of my own poetry. Neither prison or Sheffield could be described as being as exotic as Peru. <strong>Feel free to let me know of any interesting places you&#8217;ve spent your birthday.</strong></p>
<p>Although &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217;s has not long gone, I&#8217;ve already received a number of <strong>invites</strong> from people. On <strong>Saturday</strong>, my mate invited me to watch his friend&#8217;s band, my <strong>brother</strong> invited me around to his, and another friend invited me for a <strong>pub Sunday lunch</strong> although this was an invite by default. She sent me a txt that was meant for one of her female friends and when I pointed this out, she said, <strong>&#8220;I was welcome to come along&#8221;</strong>. As nice as the offer was, I declined, but I&#8217;m starting to think people feel I&#8217;m incapable of coping on my own. I imagine this is what happens when a <strong>wife</strong> leaves her <strong>husband</strong> and his friends rally around him. If &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; was away longer than the <strong>2 weeks</strong> she is, I&#8217;d expect my friends would start introducing me to their female friends.</p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> I went for a jog yesterday and during it, I found an <strong>older lady</strong> in a pile on the pavement. I say I found her, an <strong>Oriental</strong> man got there first but I did stop and helped her to her feet and then walked with her towards her house, propping her up as she was still unsteady on her feet. As we got near to her house, she saw a young  man she knew, so we left her in his capable hands. All this did however affect my time. Maybe better luck next time.</p>
<p><strong>Til next time, stay safe!</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>A bit below the belt</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/a-bit-below-the-belt/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/a-bit-below-the-belt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:27:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/?p=490</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I had a varied week. On Monday I went to an Equality and Diversity seminar run by the football organisation Kick it Out. Surprisingly I didn&#8217;t see John Terry or Luis Suarez there. On Tuesday, I went to an Edinburgh Free Fringe Benefit gig at the cost of £15. It [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=490&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_492" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 240px"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2011/sep/14/culture-flash-shopping-malls"><img class="size-full wp-image-492" title="Westfield" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/westfield.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Westfield Stratford</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I had a varied week. On <strong>Monday</strong> I went to an <strong>Equality</strong> and <strong>Diversity</strong> seminar run by the football organisation <strong><a href="http://www.kickitout.org/">Kick it Out</a></strong>. Surprisingly I didn&#8217;t see <strong>John Terry</strong> or <strong>Luis Suarez</strong> there.</p>
<p>On <strong>Tuesday</strong>, I went to an <strong>Edinburgh Free Fringe Benefit gig</strong> at the cost of <strong>£15</strong>. It does seem a little odd to pay £15 so comedians can take their show to Edinburgh, where they then don&#8217;t charge an entry fee. I&#8217;m also more than happy to admit that there are for more rewarding causes to have a benefit night for but I did get to see <strong>Rich Hall</strong> and <strong>Stewart Lee</strong> amongst others and the night was put together by the legend that is <strong>PBH</strong> (Peter Buckley Hill).</p>
<p>Also on the bill was <strong>Lucy Porter</strong>, who during her set mentioned that she had recently given birth to <strong>two children</strong> in the same year, is this possible? Even if the<strong> first child</strong> was born in <strong>January</strong> and the <strong>second</strong> in <strong>December</strong> of the same year it still seems too close together. I&#8217;m not a <strong>gynaecologist</strong> but after a woman&#8217;s given birth to a child isn&#8217;t she supposed to leave that area fallow for a certain amount of time? Maybe I&#8217;m wrong,<strong> do you know of siblings born in the same year</strong> (not twins of course)?</p>
<p>On <strong>Thursday</strong>, I sent a letter (ask your parents kids) to a low-budget coach company. due to the fact that back in <strong>September</strong>, I emailed them to let them know that my coach was <strong>59 mins</strong> late leaving, and I got no reply. I&#8217;m now hoping the humble letter will prove a more successful way of corresponding. I will keep you informed, I bet you can&#8217;t wait.</p>
<p>On <strong>Friday</strong>, I celebrated <strong>&#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;s&#8217;</strong> fake birthday. She&#8217;s away on her actual birthday so she brought it forward by a week. It was a fun evening, starting in a <strong>cocktail bar</strong>, drinking <strong>half price Martinis</strong> and ending in our local pub listening to a <strong>covers band</strong>. <strong>Feel free to let me know if you&#8217;ve had a fake birthday and what were the circumstances?</strong></p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> Yesterday (<strong>Sunday</strong>) I spent a huge chunk of the day at <strong>Westfield</strong> shopping centre, missing both <strong>Man City vs Spurs</strong> and <strong>Arsenal vs Man Utd</strong>. I tweeted this and my friend, who&#8217;s a <strong>poet</strong> and <strong>playwright</strong>, a man who makes money from words replied, <strong>&#8220;Don&#8217;t let the p*ssy turn you into milkshake&#8221;</strong> (he didn&#8217;t use an asterix). I&#8217;m not sure exactly what it means but I don&#8217;t think he was complimenting me, having said that I quite like milkshake. I&#8217;m now thinking that if I ever do a follow-up to <strong>&#8216;How to Dump your Girlfriend&#8217;</strong> that will be the title. At the very least I might try to turn it into a <strong>catchphrase</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>Til next week, stay safe!</strong></p>
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		<title>Have you used any of your own bags?</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/have-you-used-any-of-your-own-bags/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/have-you-used-any-of-your-own-bags/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:33:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[3 prong attack]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/?p=486</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. Last night I was forced to sit through an hour of Downton Abbey. I&#8217;m not sure how it happened. It wasn&#8217;t a show I was interested in when it was on TV and &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217; didn&#8217;t seem that fussed about it, but she got the box set [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=486&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_488" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 245px"><a href="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/terrychristian.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-488" title="terrychristian" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/terrychristian.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">zahid hussein, terry christian and me</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>Last night I was forced to sit through an hour of <strong>Downton Abbey</strong>. I&#8217;m not sure how it happened. It wasn&#8217;t a show I was interested in when it was on TV and<strong> &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;</strong> didn&#8217;t seem that fussed about it, but she got the box set for Christmas. Some people will probably think I&#8217;ve gone soft (softer) for watching it, but I&#8217;m playing the long game. In any relationship there is <strong>give and take</strong> and I know that the night before &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; goes to <strong>Peru</strong> for two weeks, (for work) it&#8217;s the <strong>Carling Cup Semi Final Second Leg</strong>, between <strong>Liverpool vs Man City</strong> which I will want to watch. I just hope that on that evening &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; remembers my sacrifice last night.</p>
<p>Talking of Downton, people who watch it talk about whether they&#8217;d be <strong>upstairs</strong> or <strong>downstairs</strong> in the <strong>manor house</strong>. In my case I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;d have been allowed in the house full stop.</p>
<p>On to one of the oddest stories of the week and <strong>Antony Worrall Thompson</strong> being caught shoplifting <strong>cheese</strong> and <strong>wine</strong> from his local <strong>Tesco</strong>. It does seem a little weird that a man off the TV is forced to shoplift. Even if he is on his uppers and I don&#8217;t know if he is but  cheese and wine are hardly essential items. He did his pilfering from the <strong>self check out counters</strong>, scanning some items and not others. I have to admit I couldn&#8217;t do this, I haven&#8217;t got the nerve to steal, I&#8217;m the kind of person who can&#8217;t lie when the scanning machine asks,<strong> &#8220;Have you used any of your own bags?</strong> At least this might go some way to explain Tesco&#8217;s record losses.</p>
<p>On <strong>Friday</strong>, I was watching<strong> Coronation St.</strong> and got excited, maybe a little too excited as I saw someone I know on it, playing a <strong>nurse</strong> and she had a speaking part. If this wasn&#8217;t enough, I also saw a<strong> poet friend</strong> of mine on a show on a show called<strong> &#8216;My Daughter the Teenage Nudist&#8217;</strong> he wasn&#8217;t the female nudist but he was filmed <strong>naked</strong>, with everything on show. I have admit, he&#8217;s braver than me, there&#8217;s no way I&#8217;m getting<strong> &#8216;little unknown comedian&#8217;</strong> out on <strong> national TV</strong> (or  regional tv)</p>
<p>On last week&#8217;s blog I put up the first ever <strong>3 Prong Attack videos</strong>. I didn&#8217;t have loads of feedback but one of my colleagues did come in to work and start saying,<strong> &#8220;Prong 1&#8243;</strong>,<strong> &#8220;Prong 2&#8243;</strong>. I had to do a double take and think how does he know about 3 Prong Attack and then I worked out he must have read my blog. Don&#8217;t get me wrong, I&#8217;m always grateful when anyone reads my blog but I also like to think the people and work think I&#8217;m doing some <strong>sophisticated</strong>, <strong>satirical</strong> comedy, not arguing about who&#8217;s Prong 1.</p>
<p>One other bit of feedback came from one of my<strong> oldest friends</strong> (in longevity not age) he said of the first video,<strong> &#8221; you owe me 51 seconds.&#8221;</strong> If you want to view the videos for yourself they are here.     <strong><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdOckET7os4&amp;feature=mfu_in_order&amp;list=UL">First Video</a></strong>                       <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl874nFXbJg&amp;feature=BFa&amp;list=ULkdOckET7os4&amp;lf=mfu_in_order"><strong> Second Video</strong></a></p>
<p><strong>And Finally..</strong>. I&#8217;ve started following<strong><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/terrychristian"> Terry Christian </a></strong>on <strong>Twitter</strong>, which when I mentioned this to the aforementioned colleague at work he said,<strong> &#8220;why?&#8221;</strong> which is probably a valid question. I do however find it a very interesting experience, mainly because of the abuse Terry gets on it. I genuinely didn&#8217;t realise people were so <strong>angry</strong> and <strong>abusive</strong>. Surely if you don&#8217;t like someone, don&#8217;t follow them. And what were people doing with all this pent-up aggression before Twitter was around, or is it a case of I will abuse someone because I can. But the oddest thing for me is that grown adults are wound up by Terry Christian. I would have said all this on Twitter but you only get <strong>140 characters</strong>, plus I don&#8217;t want to receive any abuse.</p>
<p><strong>Til next week, stay safe!</strong></p>
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		<title>Better late than never</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/better-late-than-never/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/better-late-than-never/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:49:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/?p=479</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. Since last week&#8217;s blog post, I&#8217;ve been back working in the school I was at before Christmas. After 2 weeks off, for the  festivities, I went back feeling refreshed. After just one day back I was knackered. Luckily I only had to work 3 days last week. I also received [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=479&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_482" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 130px"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Aubergine.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-482" title="aubergine" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/aubergine.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">An aubergine</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>Since last week&#8217;s blog post, I&#8217;ve been back working in the <strong>school</strong> I was at before Christmas. After <strong>2 weeks off</strong>, for the  festivities, I went back feeling <strong>refreshed</strong>. After just one day back I was <strong>knackered</strong>. Luckily I only had to work <strong>3 days</strong> last week.</p>
<p>I also received <strong>a late Christmas present</strong> as one of the pupils I worked with last term gave me a <strong>Liverpool FC wallet</strong>, which was a nice gesture, especially as he is a <strong>Man Utd fan</strong>. I&#8217;m not however sure if the wallet was official merchandise, as the slogan on it appears to read<strong> &#8216;YOU&#8217;LL NEVER WAIK AIONE&#8217;</strong>. As it so happens I no longer work with the same class that I was with last term, so I had to take the present and run. I do however reckon I&#8217;ve become more popular with the pupils of that class, now I&#8217;m no longer working with them. Nowadays they <strong>smile</strong> and say <strong>hello</strong> to me.</p>
<p>The only other work related news, was that today (9th Jan), I found a<strong> Christmas card</strong> addressed to me, where I sometimes sit, in our staff room. I can only assume the person left it for me before Christmas and I hadn&#8217;t seen it. They must have thought I was really rude as I&#8217;d not thanked them for it, until today. However instead of concentrating on a negative, I&#8217;m going to <strong>extenuate the positive</strong> and say I&#8217;m the first person in the world to receive  a Christmas card for <strong>Christmas 2012.</strong></p>
<p>I&#8217;m still on <strong>Twitter</strong>,<a href="https://twitter.com/#!/anunknowncomic"><strong> @unknowncomic</strong></a>. I&#8217;ve now got <strong>16 people</strong> following me, including the games people <strong>Atari</strong>, I&#8217;ve got to admit I&#8217;m not sure why.</p>
<p>Before signing up to Twitter, I always thought it would be hard to condense my thoughts into just <strong>140 characters</strong>. I now however realise my thoughts come in well under 140 characters.</p>
<p>Not only have I joined Twitter, which is a quite a technological achievement for me, it has also required to use my very first <strong>TinyUrl</strong>. As<strong> &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;</strong> said it&#8217;s a significant moment in a man&#8217;s life, his first tiny url.</p>
<p>On to some<strong> 3 Prong Attack</strong> news (the double act I&#8217;m apart of), and as regular readers to this blog may remember before Christmas, <strong>Prong 2</strong> and I did a couple of video recordings but had to abandon doing any more as his camera packed in. Well below are the fruits of our labour from that day. They are a bit rough and (un) ready, but in years to come when 3 Prong Attack are the biggest name in comedy you can tell people you viewed their first demos and more important to you they&#8217;re  only<strong> a min</strong> each.                                       <strong></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdOckET7os4&amp;feature=mfu_in_order&amp;list=UL">First Video</a></strong>                       <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl874nFXbJg&amp;feature=BFa&amp;list=ULkdOckET7os4&amp;lf=mfu_in_order"><strong> Second Video</strong></a></p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> Those of you who read last week&#8217;s blog and have come back for more will know that &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; and I won <strong>£3</strong> on scratch cards. In my head, I&#8217;m under the impression that you&#8217;ve all been waiting around since last <strong>Tues</strong>, waiting to see how we spent the money, someone who shall remain nameless said people wouldn&#8217;t be that interested. For all those on tenterhooks, on <strong>Sat</strong> &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217;  and I, went to our local supermarket, cashed the money and then bought items that included <strong>Chorizo</strong>, <strong>Olive oil </strong>(extra virgin), an <strong>aubergine</strong> and a<strong> left leaning broadsheet newspaper</strong>. In the end we ended up spending <strong>£4</strong> of our own money on top of our winnings.<strong> Them&#8217;s the breaks</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>Til next week, stay safe!</strong></p>
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		<title>The go to gutter man</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/the-go-to-gutter-man/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/the-go-to-gutter-man/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:30:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/?p=476</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well and 2012 is treating you well. I wonder if in 8 years time we will all have perfect eyesight (my annual joke, apologies) I&#8217;ve had a good Christmas period, I didn&#8217;t do loads but that&#8217;s no bad thing. In fact I did a couple of manual things, at our flat [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=476&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_477" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 185px"><a href="http://www.britishblogs.co.uk/categories/lottery/"><img class="size-full wp-image-477" title="scratch" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/scratch.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">A scratch card</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well and<strong> 2012</strong> is treating you well. I wonder if in<strong> 8 years</strong> time we will all have perfect eyesight (<strong>my annual joke</strong>, apologies)</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve had a good<strong> Christmas period</strong>, I didn&#8217;t do loads but that&#8217;s no bad thing. In fact I did a couple of <strong>manual</strong> things, at our flat I cleaned our<strong> window sills</strong> inside and out and then at my mum&#8217;s I cleaned out the growth that was causing a blockage in her <strong>gutter</strong>. This process involved me leaning out of <strong>my old bedroom window</strong> and with my marigold wearing hand scooping the weeds and soil out. My reputation as the<strong> &#8216;go to gutter man&#8217;</strong> must have spread because a few days later I was repeating the process at <strong>&#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;s mum&#8217;s</strong> house. It&#8217;s always good to keep on the right side of your partner&#8217;s family, especially as I think some sections think I&#8217;m a bit of an idiot (I wonder where they get that impression from)?</p>
<p>Also whilst I was at my mum&#8217;s I watched <strong>EastEnders</strong> for the first time since my <strong>self-imposed ban</strong> due to the<strong> baby snatching storyline</strong>. In the episode I watched there was<strong> a fire</strong>, a lot of <strong>crying</strong>,and even more <strong>screaming</strong> and a <strong>death</strong>, it&#8217;s nice to see some things don&#8217;t change. Other things I did at my mum&#8217;s, that I wouldn&#8217;t normally do included, watching <strong>Holby City</strong> and listening to more <strong>Adele</strong> than any man should. I listened to both her albums, <strong>19</strong> and <strong>21</strong>, quite a few times. I wonder at what age Adele will stop naming her albums after the age she is?</p>
<p>I also took my <strong>trainers</strong> back to <strong>Manchester</strong>, with the intention of doing some exercise. Have a guess how many times I did exercise whilst I was back? Answers on a postcard to Julian scoffed his face during Christmas but did <strong>NO</strong> exercise competition.</p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> My new year has started well, as on our return to London we were greeted to a <strong>plant</strong> from our neighbour and some <strong>scratch cards</strong> from &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217;s friends,<strong> two of which were winning tickets</strong>. We had a brief chat as to what we are going to do with the money but it&#8217;s not easy knowing how to spend <strong>£3.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Til next week (Mon), stay safe!</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Spooning in the mince meat</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2011/12/19/spooning-in-the-mince-meat/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:53:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I&#8217;ve had a busy week or should I say a relatively busy week. First up, I have joined Twitter, that might surprise some people but as it seems everyone and its wife is on Twitter I thought I would join. I know in the past I might have said that [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=473&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_474" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 193px"><a href="http://www.chocolatebuttons.co.uk/aero-christmas-tree-box-of-30.html"><img class="size-full wp-image-474" title="aerochristmastree" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/aerochristmastree.png?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Aero Christmas Tree</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve had a busy week or should I say a relatively busy week.</p>
<p><strong>First up</strong>, I have joined <strong>Twitter</strong>, that might surprise some people but as it seems everyone and its wife is on Twitter I thought I would join. I know in the past I might have said that if something can be said in <strong>140 characters</strong> it&#8217;s probably not worth saying, but what can I say, <strong>life makes a hypocrite of us all.</strong> In the past I&#8217;ve slagged off <strong>London</strong> and now I live there. At this rate I&#8217;m going to marry <strong>Cheryl Cole</strong> and start supporting <strong>Man Utd</strong>.</p>
<p>Joining Twitter is something I&#8217;d been thinking about doing for a while and like most things in my life it wasn&#8217;t straight forward. I decided to check out potential user names, including <strong>@juliandaniel</strong>,<strong> @jad</strong> (my initials) and even <strong>@Prong1</strong> but they had all been taken, some by people who had only tweeted <strong>once</strong> or <strong>twice</strong> before giving up. So I did a little <strong>market research</strong>, (I spoke to <strong>two</strong> people<strong>, &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job</strong>&#8216; and my friend <strong>Zoe</strong>) and they suggested I should choose something around the moniker of an <strong>unknown comedian</strong>. As it happened <strong>@unknowncomedian</strong> was already taken and I couldn&#8217;t do <strong>@anunknowncomedian</strong> as it had too many letters, so I eventually plumped for <strong><a href="https://twitter.com/#!/anunknowncomic">@anunknowncomic</a>. Feel free to follow me. </strong></p>
<p><strong>In other news</strong>, I&#8217;m currently enjoying my Christmas break from working in school. Before breaking up I decided I would get the <strong>two boys</strong> I work with<strong> football magazines</strong>, as they are both football fans and it would be a good way of getting them into reading. The only problem was I&#8217;d not bought a football mag since I was a kid and so I didn&#8217;t realise that they were so expensive. <strong>Match magazine</strong> were doing a <strong>Christmas special</strong> and were charging <strong>£4:99</strong> for the privilege and the only other football mag on the shelf was the <strong>Match Of The Day</strong> magazine which were <strong>£2:99</strong>. As I was contemplating what I should do, I did think about getting them copies of <strong>Nuts or Zoo</strong> as they are only about <strong>£1:50</strong> but even I thought this wouldn&#8217;t be suitable for <strong>13 yr old</strong> school children. So in the end I went for MOTD magazine. To be fair, the two boys gave me a Christmas card each (and one of them gave me an <strong>Aero Christmas tree</strong>) and despite both of them knowing my name, both of them wrote them to <strong>Mr Daniels</strong>. The adding of the <strong>&#8216;s&#8217;</strong>  to my surname happens a lot, normally I blame<strong> Paul Daniels</strong> for this, but I don&#8217;t think they are old enough to know who Paul Daniels is.</p>
<p>Talking of Christmas, &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; wanted to get into the Christmas spirit by making <strong>mince pies</strong>, I did tell her you can buy them in shops but this didn&#8217;t deter her. We started off making the pies together but after I&#8217;d made two, I was subtly relegated to the less high-profile role of<strong> spooning in the mince meat</strong>. &#8216;HWOPJ&#8217; mentioned something about creating a production line but I knew what was going on.</p>
<p>As well as making mince pies together, we decided to go and see<strong> Charlton vs Oldham</strong> on <strong>Saturday</strong>, mainly because it was <strong>£10</strong> in. We enjoyed it, but I wouldn&#8217;t recommend<strong> lower league football</strong> on a cold <strong>December</strong> day as a <strong>first date</strong>. Also at the game there was a <strong>minutes applause</strong> for a former Charlton player who had recently died. I think it might have been my first minutes applause but what I did notice is that clapping for a min feels longer than you might think.<strong> Why not try it yourself</strong>, stand in front of a clock and clap for a minute, why not get the whole office involved. <strong>Let me know how it goes.</strong></p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> As this is my last blog post of the year, all that remains for me to do is to wish you all a <strong>Merry Christmas</strong> and a <strong>prosperous 2012</strong> and thank you for all your support through out this year, tis appreciated.</p>
<p><strong>Til next time</strong> (start of 2012), <strong>stay safe!</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Pull your finger out Mr Daniel</title>
		<link>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/pull-your-finger-out-mr-daniel/</link>
		<comments>http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/pull-your-finger-out-mr-daniel/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:35:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>theviewfromthetrevor</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comedian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comedy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[her with one permanent job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inside the mind of an unknown comedian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[julian daniel]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Hola. Hope you are well. I had a realisation this week. Despite going out with &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217; for many years, it has only been in the last few days, I&#8217;ve kinda worked out what you are supposed to do in relationships. By anyone&#8217;s standards that is being slow on the uptake. For [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.wordpress.com&amp;blog=13924603&amp;post=463&amp;subd=insidethemindofanunknowncomedian&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_467" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 196px"><a href="http://www.traceycox.com/"><img class="size-full wp-image-467" title="traceycox" src="http://insidethemindofanunknowncomedian.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/traceycox1.jpg?w=370" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Tracey Cox</p></div>
<p><strong>Hola</strong>. Hope you are well.</p>
<p>I had a <strong>realisation</strong> this week. Despite going out with<strong> &#8216;Her With One Permanent Job&#8217;</strong> for <strong>many years</strong>, it has only been in the last few days, I&#8217;ve kinda worked out what you are supposed to do in<strong> relationships</strong>. By anyone&#8217;s standards that is being slow on the uptake. For the last year I have been working with children who require  a lot of<strong> repeated learning</strong> before the <strong>penny drops</strong> and even they would be like,<strong> &#8220;Pull your finger out Mr Daniel&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>I won&#8217;t elaborate as to what my realisation was, as you can find it out yourself, plus you probably already now and this blog is not the forum for such a discussion, I will leave that to <strong>Miriam Stoppard</strong> and <strong>Tracey Cox</strong>. Talking of the latter, she has an apt sounding surname for the job she does, a <strong>sex</strong> and <strong>relationship expert</strong>. <strong>Does your name reflect the job you do?</strong></p>
<p>Also last week I went <strong>running</strong> for the first time in ages. To be honest, since I did the <strong>Great North Run</strong>, (in <strong>August)</strong> I have literally dined on it. One of the reasons I went running, last week, was because it was on my <strong>things to do list</strong>. I think if you have to write down that you need to do <strong>exercise</strong>, rather than it be part of your routine, it&#8217;s probably time to do some exercise.</p>
<p>I also think that training to do the <strong>GNR</strong> was the nearest thing I&#8217;ve experienced to being on a <strong>diet</strong>. I trained hard and got myself as fit as I could all for one target and since then I&#8217;ve <strong>mentally</strong> and <strong>physically</strong> given up. I can see how <strong>brides</strong> balloon after they get married.  It&#8217;s not because they&#8217;ve trapped their man and then feel they can relax. It&#8217;s because they&#8217;ve starved themselves for months so they can get down to their<strong> &#8216;ideal dress size&#8217;</strong> only to return to eating normally the moment the wedding pics have been taken.</p>
<p>Also last week, whilst doing a little bit of writing in a <strong>library</strong>, I saw<strong> two old guys</strong> have an argument about who was sat where. From what I can tell one guy was sat in a seat, then left  but left his <strong>bag</strong> on the seat and a <strong>newspaper</strong> open, only for the <strong>second guy</strong> to come along move the first guy&#8217;s bag and start reading the paper. So when the first guy came back he wasn&#8217;t too pleased, and vocalised this. At one point the second guy said,<strong> &#8220;You&#8217;re not supposed to leave your bag, it could have had a bomb in it&#8221;</strong>. Personally, I doubt there is a <strong>terrorist group</strong> out there targeting libraries (that&#8217;s the government&#8217;s job) and <strong>secondly</strong> if he did think there was a bomb in the bag he didn&#8217;t move the bag that far away from where he was sat.</p>
<p><strong>In other news</strong>, I was speaking to a friend of mine, and mentioned the phrase,<strong> &#8216;Elephant in the room&#8217;</strong>, to which she said she&#8217;d never heard that phrase before. I would have thought everyone reading this, would have heard of this phrase, so with this in mind I thought are there any phrases you&#8217;ve recently learnt. I&#8217;ll start by saying, it&#8217;s only been a few years that I learnt the phrase is <strong>&#8216;Dull as ditch water&#8217;</strong> and not, &#8216;Dull as dish water&#8217;. <strong>Feel free to let me know any of yours, via the comments button.</strong></p>
<p><strong>And Finally&#8230;</strong> Last week, I mentioned that people should contact me to let me know of websites they go on. In the week, my colleague directed me to <strong><a href="http://www.sabotagetimes.com/">Sabotage Times</a></strong> and my friend gave me two, <strong><a href="http://newsthump.com/">NewsThump.com</a></strong> and<strong><a href="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/"> The Daily Mash</a></strong>. I will throw in <a href="http://rwhisper.wordpress.com/"><strong>Poems and Strange Mumblings</strong></a> the blog of a regular contributor to this blog, (hope he doesn&#8217;t mind). Feel free to check these sites, but don&#8217;t forget little old me. <strong>Cheers</strong></p>
<p><strong>Til next week, stay safe!</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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