Love Hurts

Stephen Wolfram

Hola. Hope you are well.

For the last few Mondays I’ve mentioned what appear to be made up nonsense days, such as, ‘Happy Monday’ (the happiest day of the year), ‘Blue Monday’ (the most depressing day of the year), ‘Sickie Monday’ (the day most people were likely to call in sick). Well today is another such day, ‘Valentines Day’ (the day men buy cheap tat, in an attempt to show their other-half they love them). Surprisingly, I’m not a massive fan of valentines day but that might be because I’m a man, but I also suspect women don’t really like Valentines day either, they just like to see us men squirm. If you are a woman reading this feel free to confirm or deny this.

From metaphorical pain suffered by men to actual pain suffered by me. For a couple of days last week I was in great discomfort in my chest area. I’m not sure what caused it, but my self diagnosis narrowed it down to trapped wind or I must have put out a muscle. The only problem with the last prognosis is that I’d like to say it must have come after I’d been lifting heavy weights at the gym but in reality the pain came after I’d been rigorously scrubbing the shelf of the grill. If this was the cause of the pain, it would have to be the lamest injury a man has suffered in the history of the planet. Having said that, it did bloody hurt.

On last week’s blog post I mentioned  my CRB woes, well today I can officially announce to the world, that I’m not a perv, as both my CRBs have cleared. I can’t help thinking the ‘fun’ starts here, or as Morrissey put it, ‘I was looking for a job, then I found a job. And heaven knows I’m miserable now’. Or as ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ put it, “Now you don’t have an excuse not to get a job”. I must admit that had crossed my mind.

Onto other stuff. I often get given CDs, because not only am I a mover and shaker in the world of comedy, I’m also an influential figure in the music industry. Anyway, I was flicking through my CDs and noticed I had 2 copies of Plan B’s album, ‘The Defamation of Strickland Banks’ and so as a treat, I thought I would give it away to a reader of this blog. So if you’d like the album, all you have to do is be the first person to write a comment via the comments button saying you would like the CD. Once you’ve done that, you can email me, with your postal address and I will send it out to you. I wonder if in some parallel world Plan B is giving away a copy of ‘How To Dump Your Girlfriend’ via his blog.

And Finally… I was flicking through the Saturday Guardian magazine and saw an article about Stephen Wolfram, (See Pic at top of this blog post), I didn’t read the article because it was all techy stuff. But the pic of him did make me think he looks  like one of  David Walliams’ comedy characters. Feel free to make up your own minds.

Til next week, stay safe!

12 thoughts on “Love Hurts

  1. We don’t do much for Vals Day, just exchange cards. This year I put a £1 scratchcard in Pete’s card and he won £100! So it’s been a pretty good one this year!

    • That is what I call a result. I hope Pete treats you with the winnings. What I dislike most about Valentines day, is that sense of pressure to do something ‘romantic’. I got ‘Her with One Permanent Job’ a card, a plant and bought us fish and chips. Now that is romance, especially the fish and chips.


  2. I would be well chuffed with fish and chips, and a plant is much better than roses which are basically dead anyway! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

    Pete has split his lottery winnings with me – result! Ha ha!

  3. I am definitely not up for showing myself in public as part of a couple on Valentine’s Day and would not be arsed if I had done nothing for it.

    I ended up spending the evening in with takeaway and my boyfriend. I hadn’t seen him properly for over a week (and I usually see him properly about twice a week) and it happened to be Feb 14th.

    I am definitely not up for being bought flowers the prices of which have been massively overinflated just for one day. If someone is up for doing something nice which doesn’t rub it in to others, that’s cool with me.

    • Hi Heena,

      Always nice to hear your views. From my findings on this subject, I’m yet to find a woman who is really up for Valentines Day, it’s almost as if we’ve been conned by those with a vested interest into thinking it’s a big deal. After all relationships aren’t about one day. By the way what kind of takeaway did you have?


  4. Valentines Day is the biggest load of piffle going. Invented by Mr Hallmark to squeeze a few quid out of everyone part of a duo out there. I’m not a fan over over priced flowers, restaurants packed to the rafters with uninspiring set menu’s, or cards sporting a lame cuddly toy.
    That said, I might be missing a crucial ingredient to be on the receiving end of said unwantables. But I’m not bitter, I hope you love birds enjoyed it 🙂

    • Hi Amanda. Good to here from you. I think your views on Valentines Day should be written up and put in cards for next year. I also like your use of the term ‘love birds’, you don’t here that enough these days.

      Hope you are well. Speak soon


  5. My limited experience of Valentines Day (I was going to use an abbreviation there, but it didn’t seem to read right!) is that ladies always say that they aren’t really bothered about it…but come on fellas, are you ever gonna take the risk of NOT buying the customary card and token gift?

    I was asked this year, “What does a fella want for Valentines Day?” – I’m 53 and single! What would I know?

    Take care,

    • Hi Simon. Even though Valentines Day is supposed to be about couples, it’s quite clearly all about the woman. What a man wants from it, is a good question, I would say to get through it relatively unscathed and with some money left in his account. Ps.You’re right about the abbreviation not reading right.

      Take care

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