Mother’s Pride

david walliams

Hola. Hope you are well.

I am back at school and today was my first day. Getting up at 6:45 was a jolt to the system. It was also my first time in a mainstream secondary school, and my first time in a faith school. As first days go, it went pretty much without incident. Although in the last lesson of the day, English, the class were checking in dictionaries the origin of words, one of which, was brother. Who knew brother, was so close to brothel?

On last week’s blog post I used the phrase, ‘jean destructive testicles’ .When ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ read it she said that must be a Googlewhack and although it’s not technically a Googlewhack as there are three words in the phrase not two, it is however the only site on the web with the phrase ‘jean destructive testicles’. My mum will be so proud.

Also last week, I mentioned how the coach I was booked on was 59 mins late. Since then I have booked another journey with this very same coach company. I think this is an example of the optimistic side of my nature, or that I am broke.

I also found out last week that a potential opportunity for me to do some writing workshops in a prison is unlikely to happen as the prison doesn’t want to be seen to be paying poets when they are cutting jobs. Even though it affects me, I can fully understand their standpoint. For example, if it kicks off at a prison, who do you want dealing with it, a prison officer or a comic poet? I suppose that is the realist in me.

I did however do some writing workshops at this prison last year, where for our final session we recorded a poetry show, where the inmates read some of the work they did with me in the sessions. This recording was put in for a literary competition against other prisons and it won Gold. As I win so little, especially for my writing, I’ve decided I’m going to bask in the glory of the prisoners. That’s the kind of bloke I am. My mum will be so proud.

In other news, David Walliams, has been swimming the Thames, for the charity Sport Relief. Even though we’ve been told the Thames is cleaner than ever and Walliams has had loads of jabs, he still got ill, surprise surprise. Can I just put it out there now, that if I ever get to the level of fame that charities feel they could make money of my efforts, there’s no chance you’d get me to swim the Thames or any other river for that matter and it’s not just that people of my skin colour don’t do swimming. Don’t worry I’m not without some charitable spirit, I’ would send them a cheque, if cheques still exist when I reach that level of fame.

This Sunday I will be enduring my own sporting challenge as I will be taking part in the Great North Run. Part of me is quite looking forward to it and another part of me will be glad when I can say it’s over. I do think I’ve been more focussed training for this half marathon than anything else I’ve ever done. I’ve definitely been more focussed than when I was at Uni, although that probably doesn’t say much. I didn’t think I’d be saying this but I think a bit of me will miss the training. There’s something quite addictive about putting your body through the pain of running 10 mile sessions. Or is that just me? One thing the run will mean is that this blog will be on Tues next week as next Monday I will be travelling for 7 hours on a coach, lucky me!

And Finally…Yesterday I righted a wrong. Some regular readers might remember a few months ago that I went to the Greenwich Planetarium where I fell a sleep. Yesterday, I was back there, not because I’m obsessed by stars but because ‘HWOPJ’ had to do something to entertain her sisters (and she also has a friend who can get her in the planetarium for free). I tagged along where I managed to stay awake for the whole talk, which as it happens was only 30mins, which does beg the question why couldn’t I stay awake for it all last time. All I can say is my mum will be so proud.

Til next week (Tues), stay safe!


6 thoughts on “Mother’s Pride

  1. Good Luck for Sunday, Julian. I’ll keep my eye out for you on the telly!

    And if you find you’re missing the training, you can always pop along to your nearest parkrun for a Saturday morning 5k fix šŸ™‚

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