Fools gold

tea and muffins

Hola. Hope you are well.

I went to St Paul’s yesterday to view London‘s latest to see tourist attraction, the ‘Occupy the Stock Exchange’  protestors. I had a good look around, I viewed the tents from ground level, from the stairs of the church, read some of the placards, my personal favourite being “If criminals can’t print money, why can the banks?” (or words to that effect), I listened to a few minutes of a public debate and felt I had done my bit towards the revolution and then went over the road for a pot of tea and muffins.

In all seriousness, I have sympathy for what the protesters are saying. I’m no financial expert but it would appear that the current financial model isn’t working, after all countries are going bust, Europe is looking for China to bail them out and even the mighty America has lost one of its A’s (it’s no longer a triple A rated country). It would appear to me that the problem is down to the fact we don’t seem to make anything these days, our great idea is to try to make money from money but that isn’t tangible, it’s just numbers on spread sheets. It seems the only people making actual products in this country is the knicker factory in Coronation Street and even that is on its last legs.

Talking of ways to make money brings me on to the Pakistani cricketers who have been imprisoned for their part in a betting scam. The scam involved people betting huge amounts of money on predicting when no balls would be bowled. It does surprise me that anyone thought this plan was going to work or at the very least not arouse suspicion. For if you could really predict when a bowler was going to bowl a no ball, you are a wizard and should be given your own TV show to rival Derren Brown. The agent of the cricketers was also sentenced, although I thought in the spirit of fairness he should have taken 20% of their sentence as well. That’s satire Ladies and Gentleman. (I think it’s satire)

Another sports story that caught my eye, involved the caddie Steve Williams. Who’s he you may ask? Well, he was Tiger Woods’ caddie for 12 years until Tiger let him go to Steve’s dismay. He then went onto Caddie for Adam Scott, who in their first tournament together won and at the time Steve described it as the, “greatest victory of his career”.  On Friday he was honoured for this over the top celebration, winning ‘celebration of the year’ at the Caddie of the Year awards. After accepting the award he was asked why he said it was the greatest victory of his career, when he had enjoyed 13 major tournament wins with Tiger, he responded by saying, “I wanted to shove it up that black arsehole”.

I think this comment should be put into context, the context being that despite being a caddie, for many years Steve was the highest earning sportsman in New Zealand (he’s from New Zealand) on the back of Tiger’s brilliance. If Tiger earnt me a shed load of money and then decided to part with my services, I can hand on heart say I would be eternally grateful, I certainly wouldn’t be talking about shoving anything up his areshole, unless of course he asked me to. But my second point is that people should learn that if you are going to insult a black person, just avoid using the word ‘black’ in the insult. If for example you are a footballer and insulted Anton Ferdinand by calling him a c*** you would probably get away with it but if you are the same footballer and were to call Anton Ferdinand a ‘black c***, it would change the context and that footballer would probably be investigated by the police. Having said all that, I do think the most shocking thing about this whole story is that caddies have their own awards ceremony.

And Finally… As I recently read that blog posts should be no longer than 500 words and I’ve already written over 650 words, I thought I’d better wrap things up here, as you have probably already mentally switched off, but before I do, I should mention I will be taking part in an open mic comedy show as 3 Prong Attack this Weds, 9th Nov. It’s at the Alchemist Bar, in Clapham Junction, 225 St Johns Hill, London SW11 1TH. Nearest train st Clapham Junction. We will be doing 5-7mins. Show starts 8pm and is FREE!

Til next time, stay safe!

2 thoughts on “Fools gold

    • Hi Simon, good to hear from you and hope you are well. Cheers for the tip, I think I will try it on my next post as I have a gig next Thurs. And in other news, your last comment was the 100th according to my stats. Nice one!

      Speak soon
      Julian

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