A bit below the belt

Westfield Stratford

Hola. Hope you are well.

I had a varied week. On Monday I went to an Equality and Diversity seminar run by the football organisation Kick it Out. Surprisingly I didn’t see John Terry or Luis Suarez there.

On Tuesday, I went to an Edinburgh Free Fringe Benefit gig at the cost of £15. It does seem a little odd to pay £15 so comedians can take their show to Edinburgh, where they then don’t charge an entry fee. I’m also more than happy to admit that there are for more rewarding causes to have a benefit night for but I did get to see Rich Hall and Stewart Lee amongst others and the night was put together by the legend that is PBH (Peter Buckley Hill).

Also on the bill was Lucy Porter, who during her set mentioned that she had recently given birth to two children in the same year, is this possible? Even if the first child was born in January and the second in December of the same year it still seems too close together. I’m not a gynaecologist but after a woman’s given birth to a child isn’t she supposed to leave that area fallow for a certain amount of time? Maybe I’m wrong, do you know of siblings born in the same year (not twins of course)?

On Thursday, I sent a letter (ask your parents kids) to a low-budget coach company. due to the fact that back in September, I emailed them to let them know that my coach was 59 mins late leaving, and I got no reply. I’m now hoping the humble letter will prove a more successful way of corresponding. I will keep you informed, I bet you can’t wait.

On Friday, I celebrated ‘Her With One Permanent Job’s’ fake birthday. She’s away on her actual birthday so she brought it forward by a week. It was a fun evening, starting in a cocktail bar, drinking half price Martinis and ending in our local pub listening to a covers band. Feel free to let me know if you’ve had a fake birthday and what were the circumstances?

And Finally… Yesterday (Sunday) I spent a huge chunk of the day at Westfield shopping centre, missing both Man City vs Spurs and Arsenal vs Man Utd. I tweeted this and my friend, who’s a poet and playwright, a man who makes money from words replied, “Don’t let the p*ssy turn you into milkshake” (he didn’t use an asterix). I’m not sure exactly what it means but I don’t think he was complimenting me, having said that I quite like milkshake. I’m now thinking that if I ever do a follow-up to ‘How to Dump your Girlfriend’ that will be the title. At the very least I might try to turn it into a catchphrase.

Til next week, stay safe!

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