Prison or Peru?

Benjamin Button

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’ve had another varied week. Today at work, for example, I was mistaken for a pupil on two occasions. A couple of weeks ago a female colleague said I didn’t look older than 24, so maybe I’m getting younger and younger, just call me, ‘Benjamin ‘unknown comedian’ Button.

In the week, ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ flew off to Peru (for work). The night before her excursion I ‘treated’ her to Liverpool Vs Man City in our local pub. Relationship experts at this point would no doubt bang on about compromise, some people would add it shows, ‘HWOPJ’ in a good light but I’d like to say this is an example of me playing the long game. Regular readers to this blog will know that in recent weeks, I’ve sat through an hour of Downton Abbey and walked round a shopping centre for hours all for ‘HWOPJ’s benefit. The one thing it does show, is that I’ve definitely not turned into Milkshake. (see last week’s blog post)

Whilst ‘HWOPJ’ has been in Peru she’s had a birthday, which I think is pretty cool. I’ve never spent my birthday anywhere exotic or mildly interesting. For the last two birthdays I’ve spent a huge chunk of the day in prison (doing writing workshops) and a few years back, on my birthday, I went to Sheffield, with a female poetry collective, Sista Talk, where I did 5mins of my own poetry. Neither prison or Sheffield could be described as being as exotic as Peru. Feel free to let me know of any interesting places you’ve spent your birthday.

Although ‘HWOPJ’s has not long gone, I’ve already received a number of invites from people. On Saturday, my mate invited me to watch his friend’s band, my brother invited me around to his, and another friend invited me for a pub Sunday lunch although this was an invite by default. She sent me a txt that was meant for one of her female friends and when I pointed this out, she said, “I was welcome to come along”. As nice as the offer was, I declined, but I’m starting to think people feel I’m incapable of coping on my own. I imagine this is what happens when a wife leaves her husband and his friends rally around him. If ‘HWOPJ’ was away longer than the 2 weeks she is, I’d expect my friends would start introducing me to their female friends.

And Finally… I went for a jog yesterday and during it, I found an older lady in a pile on the pavement. I say I found her, an Oriental man got there first but I did stop and helped her to her feet and then walked with her towards her house, propping her up as she was still unsteady on her feet. As we got near to her house, she saw a young  man she knew, so we left her in his capable hands. All this did however affect my time. Maybe better luck next time.

Til next time, stay safe!


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