Shut that door

Hola. Hope you are well.

I went to a 90’s night on Sat, which is somewhat disconcerting as I lived through the 90’s, they were my decade, certainly musically, so it’s hard to take that that decade is now been revisited nostalgically. It seems way too soon for me. I’ve still got clothes from the 90s and more amazingly I’ve still got friends from the 90s.

I say I went to a 90’s night, I almost didn’t get in, as the venue have a strict no ID, no entry policy and with me being mid-late 30s, I don’t carry ID around with me. This means that I am vulnerable in situations like this, only last year I wasn’t allowed to buy wine at a supermarket. With this in mind I was all set not to get in. At one point the lady on the door said, “Have you got anything with a picture of your face on”? I felt like saying, “I can do better than that, I have my actual face” but I could sense this was not the time for such a comment. In the end it all worked out because “on this one occasion” she’d let me in.

My night had not gone much smoother prior to this, as at the restaurant ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ and I somehow got overlooked and had to wait over an hour for our dinner, with just our starter, green beans to keep us going. In addition to the long wait for our food, we were sat next to the door, which was faulty so if it wasn’t shut properly it would spring back open. As it was a very cold night, it meant I was constantly having to get up and close the door.

With this in mind, I hope it goes some way to explaining what happened next. Firstly, a man stood at the door with it wide open whilst his other-half paid the bill. This annoyed me as he was letting all the cold air in. Secondly, after paying her bill she walked straight out with no thought of the door. This tipped me over the edge, so I got up and shouted after them and told them they hadn’t shut the door.  Naturally they didn’t come back and shut it as from their point of view a maniac had called after them about closing a door. ‘HWOPJ’ said if this had happened on a first date, there would not have been a second, as the incident had made me “appear unhinged”. In my defence, I still don’t think I was in the wrong and anyway I wasn’t unhinged, it was the door that was badly hinged.

And Finally… On Last week’s blog post I mentioned how I claimed back £1:35 from Transport for London, a few days later they announced fare rises of 4:2% and the cost of hiring Boris Bikes will double. Has my actions in claiming the money back ultimately cost the people of London? If so I apologise, but not to that couple who didn’t shut the restaurant door.

Til next week, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

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