E-ticket to ride

Hola. Hope you are well.

I was out and about on Friday entertaining the good people of Norwich, doing a rare stand up gig. It turned out to be a good night and my set was well received. What with me being more of ‘an unknown teaching assistant’ than ‘an unknown comedian’ these days it was nice to be up on stage doing an extended set.

After the gig a couple of the audience members wanted me to pose for pics with them. What they will do with the photos I don’t know. If you’ve had your pic taken with performers no one else outside of the gig will know, let me know how long it took before you deleted that pic.

Things were obviously going too well as the next day, having had a nice stroll around Norwich I got to the train station with 10 mins to spare. I had a E-ticket so I showed it to the staff member at the gate. She looked at it and said, “This is not your ticket, but the  confirmation”. She directed me to the ticket office (not the confirmation office). I’m now up against time and in a queue. I get to the counter and explain what has happened and show this member of staff my paper, she points to the words that read, “This is your ticket to travel”. So now I have to go back to the woman at the gate and tell her what I was told at the ticket office. At this point she could admit to making a mistake but doesn’t and instead says, “I’ll let you through but you’ll have to have a word with the guard, before you get on the train”. I didn’t, I just got on the train.

I wouldn’t have been too bothered about them quibbling as to whether it was a ticket or a confirmation email, if having booked a train, I hadn’t spent part of the journey (30mins) on bus. A bus after all is not a train.

In other news, I’m not sure why but on Sunday I woke up and felt like doing a bit of cleaning, and ended up hoovering and mopping. I also cleaned ‘Her With One Permanent Job’s’ muddy boots. She described this as being, “the most romantic thing I’ve done”. I’m not sure how serious she was, although I’m not the most romantic of people so it could well be true. Either that, or guys should forget the idea of candle light dinners in Paris, because what women really want is for you to clean their muddy boots.

And Finally… I don’t want to come across as a grumpy old man, who claims things were better ‘in my day’ BUT I’ve had a pair of shoes for many many years and for all that time I’ve had the original laces in. Then a few months ago they succumbed to wear and tear and I had to buy some new ones. Already, to my dismay these new laces have frayed to the point that yesterday I had to buy some more laces. Anyway I’m off now to get my pipe and slippers and a nice cup of Horlicks.

Til next week, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

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