Horsemeat or sex crimes

Hola. Hope you are well.

Today’s blog post surrounds a serious story, which is rare for me, and doesn’t have much laughs (not so rare) I said it before anyone else did. I was going to talk about this subject in a previous blog post but got side tracked by boiler problems et al.

The other week I saw on the news thatthe specialist Met sex crimes unit based in Southwark, south London, ‘tried to persuade women who reported they had been sexually attacked to drop their cases’. They did this in an attempt to boost their performance figures, which were among the worst in the Met.

Call me old-fashioned but you’d like to think that if went to the police about anything, they’d try to help you but if it’s for something as serious as rape/a sex crime, you would assume the police would do everything in their powers to investigate and bring the perpetrator to justice. The last thing you might think is that they are going to try to deter you from proceeding with your case. If you did think they were trying to deter you, the last reason you would consider is so they can make their figures look good. What is more worrying is that this wasn’t one or two rogue cops, this must have been an edict passed down, and a culture that wasn’t opposed. Even more worryingly is it appears this was not isolated to this one borough, with 5 others linked to similar practices.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure in most professions manipulation of figures goes on. I’m also not naive enough to think that manipulation or ‘massaging‘ of crime stats doesn’t go on, from the police and the politicians a like, but I’d like to think that if you work in the sex crimes unit of a police force, pressure to manipulate figures would be non-existent. After all by not investigating such a crime, your figures may improve but at what cost? The victim may drop the allegations but you’ve still got a potential rapist in the community, who could offend again. Which is what happened in the above case, where the man went on to kill his 2 children.  Who knows, what this did to their murder stats? (apologies for being flippant)

The reason, I decided to write about this is because the story of manipulating sex crime figures received very little attention in the media and yet the ‘horsemeat scandal’, which broke around the same time has received plenty of air time and column inches and continues to do so.

If we were to assume that media coverage reflects what the public wants, it would suggest that as a society we are more interested in what we put in our mouths, than protecting  victims of serious sex crimes and I for one don’t believe this to be true.

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

A place called revenge

Cheryl's back tattoo

Cheryl’s back tattoo

Hola. Hope you are well.

After quite an introspective blog post, last time out, I’ve decided I would look at a few things that have made the news in recent weeks.

First up, Cheryl Cole’s new back tattoo (see pic above). In no way am I saying it is a mistake but in her life it’s probably up there with punching the toilet attendant and marrying a certain footballer. Feel free to let me know of your tattoo disasters. You can contact me via the comments button.

From Cheryl to the Italian elections (a natural segue), where people seem to find it absurd that a comedian Beppe Grillo, did so well. It’s a little hurtful, as in my opinion comedians are some of the sharpest people around. Plus is it really that bizarre that Italy could have a comedian forming a coalition government after all it’s not been that long since Berlesconi ran the country, all on his own. Plus, we in our country can’t really pass judgement as Nick Clegg is our deputy Prime Minister. I’d take a comedian every time.

On to America, where a homeless man‘s good deed in returning an engagement ring to its owner has been handsomely rewarded. So delighted by the return of the ring , the couple set up an online page so people could donate money for the homeless man. I’m not sure why it is up to people other than the couple to provide the reward but at the time of writing the figure was up to $175 000. This is what some would describe as an uplifting story, but uplifting stories are generally not that funny, so with this in mind, feel free to let me know when your good deed has gone unrewarded?

This next link I’m going to entitle, I must have been in the 6-10 slot.

This link I’m going to entitle, The women up North are a lot more friendly than those down South.

Now to prison and in particular Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce who were sentenced to 8 months inside, for swapping driving points. For me, she has to take most of the blame for them going to prison. The way I see it, if you are going to concoct such a plan you have to take it to the grave. Her revealing the swapping of the driving points was in no way motivated by a desire to tell the truth, it came from a place called revenge. Revenge for his infidelity, when they were married. What she hadn’t foreseen, is that by disclosing the plan, she was in fact implicating herself and now because of this she has time on her hands to contemplate the errors of her ways. With this in mind, when has your plan backfired, spectacularly?

And Finally… after my last blog post, I thought I’d update you on the boiler situation. You’ll all be relieved and pleased in equal measure to know the boiler is back on. Slightly embarrassingly after all the fuss (made by me) the engineer basically did the boiler equivalent of switching it off and then on again. How was I to know it would be as simple as that?

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Catch 22

Hola. Hope are well.

We (Her With One Permanent Job and I) are currently without a boiler at our flat. I woke on Monday morning to find we had  no hot water and no heating. Ever since we’ve been trying to get an engineer out, which is not as easy as you would think. For starters you can only book a slot in the morning or the afternoon, (12-6pm). As we both work, neither was suitable but I can get back to the flat for 4pm (the perks of working in a school), so the landlady booked us in for an afternoon slot on the Tues.

I decided it would be wise to ring this particular british gas company and mention that no one would be at the property til 4pm. They said they would put a note on the system but that a note is not a guarantee they will come after4pm. So what time did they come on the Tuesday? 3:30. And guess what? No one was at the property.

So when I got home on Tues, I got back on the phone to this british gas company, explaining what had happened. They said they could book an engineer for the next day. They also explained once again that I can only book a slot in the morning or the afternoon and me explaining that no one will be in the property before 4pm. They did say they would put a note on the system but that a note is not a guarantee they will come after4pm. I did question the wisdom of this, as what happened earlier that day could well happen today (Wednesday). But the one thing I’ve learnt from all my years in showbiz, is to have faith. So it was no surprise that when I came home today, there was a card saying the engineer had come at 3:15. There was some hope though as the card did say if I contacted the Service Centre they ‘will be happy to make another appointment suitable for you.’ If of course suitable for you is a 6 hour window.

This now leaves us without a boiler and a freezer (another story). We appear to be going back in time. Before we know it, we will be washing clothes in a stream and digging a hole in the back garden, to use as a toilet. Not that it is our back garden and knowing the man who owns it, I don’t think he would take it very well if I defecated in his garden.

Til next week, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic