What’s the funniest letter?

Hola. Hope you are well.

On my last blog post I mentioned how 3 Prong Attack had started doing Prongcasts (podcasts to you and me). At the weekend I spoke to the one of the very few people in the world that has listened to the podcast and he said it inspired him to do his own. So essentially 3 Prong Attack are inspiring people to do niche broadcasting.

Also since my last post, I’ve done something that I’ve never done before. I’ve started reading a book on how to write comedy. I’m sure there will be some people reading this, that will be asking, ‘what took you so long’? I’ve only just started it but one of the things I’ve learnt is that ‘K’ is the funniest letter of the alphabet. Can this really be true? Maybe it is, but in my knowledge of American History putting 3 Ks together doesn’t make for comedy gold. Feel free to let me know what you think the funniest letter of the alphabet is. You can contact me via the comments button.

One of the most bizarre stories I’ve seen for a long time involved the selling of fake bomb detectors to police forces and security agencies across the globe by James McCormick. These devices were in fact golf ball detectors and had no use as bomb detectors, unless of course the bombs were made of golf balls. I have two questions about this, firstly, how was he able to get away with this, do people not check this sort of thing and secondly, who has a gadget to find golf balls? What’s wrong with your eyes?

Over in America, Barack Obama was sent the poisonous substance Ricin in the post. It must be pretty easy for the FBI to spot such things, after all in these technological days, who apart from those up to no good communicate with the President by letter? At least we know the person who sent the letter wasn’t black, because if they were, they would have sent Ricin Peas. Did I say I’ve started reading a book about how to write great comedy?

On a recent blog post I wrote about the passing of Mrs Thatcher. After reading the none too complimentary piece, a friend asked me if I’d downloaded the anti-Thatcher song, ‘Ding Dong The Witch is Dead’. I had to admit I hadn’t, not on political grounds but because I have never downloaded any music in my life. I’m so old school, that I still have a Sony Walkman. So if the song had come out on cassette I would have bought it.

And Finally… I was reading a report which stated the tickets sold to the public at last year’s Olympic games were too expensive. Perhaps the organisers will get it right for the next London Olympics. Here’s hoping!

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Do less for more

Hola. Hope you are well.

I went to a football network event last week. I’m now a footballer. That”s was a joke, about being a footballer not going to a football network event.

The common feedback from all the people I spoke to in the industry, stressed the importance of hard work. Whatever I’m currently doing I need to do more of it. If I write I need to do more writing, whatever I’m reading, I need to read more widely. I may also need to volunteer at places to gain experience, ie. doing more for no money. All this is good advice but it would be nice, for once, if someone said you should do less for more. One journalist did say however, as a writer of football (the view from the trevor) I need to watch more football. Good news for me, I’m not so sure ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ will see it the same way.

At the same conference, a motivational speaker said us delegates needed to do 100 things, 1% better. I thought about this for a few days and came to the conclusion that I don’t do a hundred things. So now I have to do a hundred things, do them for a while and then do them all 1% better. I know this goes against the ethos he was going for but it all sounds like hard work to me.

In the spirit of doing more things (for free), 3 Prong Attack (the radio show I belong to) have now started doing podcasts or Prongcasts as we are calling them. We’ve only done 2 but they’ve not been without incident. For starters, we had a problem signing up to SoundCloud, mainly because I put the wrong email address into the signing up form. How was I to know our email address is dot com and not co.uk. Then I tried to rectify the situation by putting in the correct email address but this wouldn’t allow us into the original account, so we had to set up another account.   All in all it took us about 1hr to set up something that is fool-proof and should take 5 mins.

In some ways this one incident sums up 3 Prong’s career, after all it has taken us about 15 years to go from hospital radio to podcasting (prongcasting). For those interested here is our second prongcast, where we discuss Mrs Thatcher’s funeral and Prong 2 even sings on it. Hope you enjoy.

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Milk thief dies

Hola. Hope you are well.

There can’t be that many people who have walked this earth who have had others openly speculate how they would celebrate when they die. This week one such person, Mrs Thatcher, did pass away.

Her supporters seemed disappointed that her passing didn’t result in a shared grief. I’m sure if she had wanted this, she wouldn’t have been so divisive whilst she was alive. As for those supporters who have been dismayed by a lack of compassion from those who have taken joy from her death, should remember how much compassion she showed when she destroyed whole communities.

She may no longer be around but her legacy can be seen today, with this government choosing to target the poorest in society and trying to turn the poor working, against the poor who are not in work.

Her funeral takes place next Weds, where she will be cremated. If anyone at the crematorium should be reading this the melting point of iron is 1535.0 °C

Til next week, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Spare room bad, second home good

Hola. Hope you are well.

After the last blog being all about the manipulation of the numbers of sex crimes in Southwark, I wouldn’t want you to think that this blog has gone all serious  BUT….

The first topic I’m going to discuss concerns James Best who was imprisoned for theft during the London riots. The theft of a gingerbread man. That is correct, a gingerbread man. What makes this all the worse is that he had mental health issues and was also let down by the prison and emergency services when he suffered a heart attack and subsequently died. Whether he had mental health issues or not, you do have to wonder why we are locking up people for stealing gingerbread men. Or maybe the courts are sending out a strong message to those that might move on to other sugary snacks. It begs the question what would happen if you stole a jam donut? The Firing squad??

The next topic, involves the much talked about bedroom tax. This is where the government want to tax people who live in social housing and have a spare room. Yet in the budget, the very same government wanted to help people to buy a second home. A second home, not to help first time buyers but those who already have a home. This basically equates as ‘spare room bad, whole second home good’. I’m not sure if the government realise that a second home would in essence have several spare rooms.

The MP at the helm of these welfare reforms is Iain Duncan Smith. I can’t help thinking in these austere times, the man making all these cuts to people’s benefits, shouldn’t have 3 names. He needs to make sacrifices of his own, after all ‘we’re all in it together‘. So from today he needs to decide whether he’s going to be called Iain Duncan or Iain Smith. I would also tax him for that spare ‘i’ in Iain.

In less serious news, I recently watched the Hitchcock film Vertigo. I won’t spoil it for you if you’ve not seen it (it has been out since 1958) but in it, James Stewart’s character has to follow someone. This makes me ask, have you ever had to follow someone and why? Feel free to contact me via the comments button.

And Finally… for all those people who wondered what happened to 90’s beat combo Travis, they are soon to be headlining a festival in China. They weren’t supposed to be headlining but Kraftwerk who were supposed to be, weren’t allowed into China because in 1999 they were on the bill for a pro-Tibet independence concert. As it happened the event didn’t go ahead due to lightening, not that this makes a difference to the Chinese authorities. So step forward Travis, although they don’t seem to have the complete support of the organisers as illustrated in this quote,

      “I can’t say we are 100% confident with Travis as headliners. But it’s a fact we have to accept.”

Feel free to let me know when you’ve been made to feel less than welcome.

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic