Good bank Bad bank

Hola. Hope you are well.

On my last blog post I mentioned the walking trip me and my friends had been on. Well that was in the day, in the evening of the same day I went to a the wedding reception of one of ‘Her With One Permanent Job’. I know, I do have a lot of energy for a man in his mid to late thirties. Fuelled by this energy and maybe some drinks, I even managed to bust some shapes on the dance floor. All a bit of fun I thought. That was until at the end of the night, one of ‘HWOPJ’s relatives (one the fam they don’t see much) said to her, “How have you ended up with an African with no rhythm?” Maybe it’s my sensibilities but what I most object from that statement is that I’m not a good dancer. I’ve won a dancing competition, don’t you know?

Talking of weddings I mentioned in passing to ‘HWOPJ’ that Jeremy Forrest wants to marry the school girl he abducted and ran off to France with once he gets out of prison. Her response was, “Even they’re getting married”. So in this whole story, it turns out I’m the bad guy. Typical!

In financial news, there are plans to split RBS into a good bank and a bad bank. I know which one I’d be more likely to put my money into.

And Finally… the new fad diet is the 5:2 diet. It’s when in a week, you eat normally for 5 days and then have 2 days when you starve yourself (I am paraphrasing). This did make me think, could this be adapted to other parts of our lives and then I thought work. So from now on I’m going to work 5 days and then have 2 days off. I wonder if it will catch on.

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Prongcasts

The checkmate’s in the post

Hola. Hope you are well.

I met up with 3 old school friends over the weekend including Prong 2, from 3 Prong Attack and we went on a walking trip in Malham (should you need to know where). Typically when 4 red bloodied young men get together the conversation turned to books.

One of my friends mentioned he’d not long finished reading ‘The Great Gatsby’. He described it as being “Crap”. A rather short appraisal of a book that is often cited as one of the greats of American literature. So with this in mind feel free to mention when your view has not been shared by the majority. You can contact me via the comments button.

My mate also said, that he reads a good book and then a crap book, The Great Gatsby being his latest crap book. I’m not one to pee on other people’s reading plan but I can see a flaw in his system. Feel free to let me know if you have a reading plan. My current plan involves reading relatively short books. The next book I’m scheduled to read is ‘Generation X’ which is 208 pages long and the book I’m currently reading is the aforementioned The Great Gatsby, 172 pages.

I have read The Great Gatsby before, about 20 years ago for my A-Levels, yet I don’t remember one bit of it. I can not recall one scene, one passage, nor any of the characters. To the point that I am now doubting whether I did in fact previously read the book, or do A-Levels or go to school. I’m currently 94 pages in (more than halfway through), and what does surprise me is that the book has been turned into a film (more than once) as for what I can see, not much happens. If I knew this was an accepted practice in the film world I would have sent film studios scripts a long time ago.

And finally… one other revelation on this walking trip involved my other friend who revealed he plays chess by post. That’s by post. Feel free to let me know if you play chess post.

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Prongcasts

Elephants and Moles

Hola. Hope you are well.

For those that don’t know, away from the glare of showbiz I work as a Teaching Assistant and have done for just over 2 years. Prior to this I attempted to make a living via the creative industries, mainly delivering poetry workshops. In the last few weeks the government want to get rid of TAs from schools and want to cut the funding for the arts, this is on top of the cuts they made not that long ago. If the government mention policies that target bloggers, I’m going to take it personally.

It been a busy time for Education secretary Michael Gove as his department have announced changes to GCSEs. One of the big differences is that instead of a letter based grade system A*-E  they are going to introduce  a number based system 8-1. That must have been one hell of a brainstorm session when they came up with that.

I thought instead of a letters or numbers why not use different animals to depict grades, maybe an elephant could be a high grade and a mole a lesser grade. Other suggestions from my colleagues at work have included using colours and different mimes. Feel free to let me know what you would use as grades. You can contribute via the comments button.

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Prongcasts

Why I’m confused by breasts

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’ve been thinking about breasts these last few days. When I say breasts, I mean women’s breasts.

I started thinking of breasts on Sunday, when I saw a tweet from a The Sun newspaper saying Bruce Grobbelaar’s daughter was stripping, via a webcam for a £3 per min site.  For those who don’t know, Bruce Grobbelaar was a former Liverpool goalkeeper.

Purely for research purposes I clicked on the link, and there was the story. The paper described her as a ‘seedy webcam model’. This did strike me as a somewhat hypocritical as The Sun is one of two newspapers that continue to have Page 3 models. The other being the Daily Star, but that doesn’t count as it’s not a proper newspaper.

Then on Sunday, ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ and I watched Graham Norton, where the music was provided by Robin Thicke. His song Blurred Lines is currently at No 1 in the charts, partly because it’s a catchy tune, but also on the back of its video, which has received a lot of hype mainly because it features a conveyor belt of attractive, young women, topless.

Purely for research, I checked out the video on the internet, this time being monitored by ‘HWOPJ’ who was in control of the mouse. Once she felt we had seen enough, she turned it off. We saw enough to realise it was essentially Robin Thicke and a conveyor belt of attractive, young women, topless.

This video has had gazillions of hits in no time and appears to be seen as some kind of genius marketing plan. I would argue that if you put out a video featuring attractive young women, semi naked, people will click on it. That and cats doing funny things. If you put out a video of an attractive young semi naked woman, with a cat doing something funny, I think it would break the internet.

So all this has left me a little confused. If I have this correct, women baring breasts in a million pound pop music video is acceptable but a woman doing it on a webcam is not. Especially if it is the daughter of a former professional footballer.

Ps. Feel free to let me know if  your partner determines how long is acceptable for you to view breasts?

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Prongcasts

A hotbed of literature

Hola. Hope you are well.

On my last blog post, I mentioned how whilst travelling back to Manchester on Megabus I was reading Chris Evans’ autobiography, ‘It’s not what you think’. On the same journey ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ was reading, ‘the Second Sex’ by Simone de Beauvoir a 800 page beast of feminism. It’s safe to say they’re quite different books, so with this in mind, what are you reading and what is your partner reading? Feel free to let me know via the comments button.  Who knew that Megabus was such a hotbed of literature.

Four minutes after getting off the aforementioned Megabus in Manchester, I bumped into someone I knew. This wouldn’t have happened in London, where sometimes the people you’ve agreed to meet up with don’t turn up, nevermind bumping into them.

A few blog posts ago, I posed the question, do you have a plug socket under a sink? Whilst in Manchester, where I was staying with my mum, I discovered she not only has no plug socket under her kitchen sink, she currently has no kitchen sink. Feel free to let me know if you don’t have a kitchen sink.

On Saturday evening, we invited Prong 2 and 2 of his housemates to our flat, for what can be described as a dinner party. I must confess that this may not have been my idea nor can I take the praise for the food that was served, although I was in charge of the music. I feel I took enough of a back seat that I can say the evening was a success, apart from one thing. As we only have 4 chairs and there was 5 of us present, we had to improvise, chair wise. This meant (one person) me having to sit on a mini step-ladder, which was not a suitable substitute. So with this in mind, what have used instead of a chair?

And Finally… For those interested I’m currently reading, ‘The Collector’ by John Fowles. (I’m only halfway through so don’t tell me how it ends! Cheers)

Til next time, stay safe!

@anunknowncomic

Prongcasts