Mother’s Day, dads pay.

My 8 month old ‘organised’ a lunch for his mum on Mother’s Day, but who should’ve paid for this, me (dad) or him?

Before you say me, consider these points:

i) The baby’s mum is not my mum.
ii) Financially he has done very well from existing.
iii) I’d already bought his present (flowers) for his mum.
iv) I have to get my mum a present, so paying for lunch would double my outlay.

Of course we could have got the mum to go halves with either me or the boy (or thirds with the both of us) but this may have gone against the spirit of Mother’s Day.

Who knew parenting would pose so many questions?

@anunknowncomic

Should you have any spare time, check out my comedy prongcasts. Just Press Play. Cheers.

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No experience required

If Evgeny Lebedev had asked me to become the editor of the London Evening Standard, for multiple reasons I’d have to say no. One being, my lack of experience.

What I definitely wouldn’t do is accept the position and continue with my job as a teaching assistant. I’d probably think that due to my lack of experience I’d need to put all my time and effort into the job. George Osborne faced with this situation, feels he can edit the paper alongside being an MP, a consultant for BlackRock and not forgetting his lucrative talks.

Other than time management concerns, it does seem somewhat dubious that a serving MP should be in a position where he has influence over a potential audience of 8m people every evening.

It  begs the question, what next? Alastair Darling becoming the controller of Radio 1xtra.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have time, check out my comedy prongcasts. Cheers

Seeking your approval

Theresa May tops the approval ratings of all the party leaders, but what has she done to deserve this?

The biggest issue she’s had to deal with is our leaving the EU. Her main strategy in dealing with this situation was to mainly say, “Brexit means Brexit” and “I won’t be giving a running commentary”. When she tired of those catchphrases she tried out ‘Red, White and Blue Brexit’. Unfortunately for her this one didn’t catch on.

She also stated that we will be leaving the single market. This seems an unusual disclosure before negotiations have started, especially as we do a huge chunk of our trade with the EU.

Her approach to the NHS crisis has been a lot more simple, ignore it. Even worse than that she kept Jeremy Hunt on as the Health Secretary.

Her solution to the problem of for the elderly was to put up council tax. By her own admission this will not fill the funding gap. In addition to this, it’s an unfair system as it will raise more money in affluent areas than those in poorer places.

Internationally, Theresa May decided she wouldn’t condemn President Trump and his Muslim ban, instead she decided to cosy up to him and then granted him a state visit, making him the quickest US President to get this honour. If there was one President you might want to wait and see how their tenure goes, it would probably be Donald Trump’s but not for Theresa ‘safe pair of hands’ May.

Other things she’s presided over include wanting to bring back Grammar schools, despite little support from those that work in education. Halting the decision to allow China to build the Hinkley nuclear power station only to then allow China to build the Hinkley nuclear power station. Being super evasive as to whether she knew that Trident had misfired, leading to this cringy interaction with Andrew Marr. She’s also gone back on the agreement to take in 3500 child refugees, now saying we will take 350. It appears government policy these days includes rubbing out zeros.

Her time as Prime Minister has passed with not too much scrutiny from the media nor dissent from within her party. In fact the biggest challenge from her Conservative MPs came when she was photographed wearing a pair of £995 brown leather trousers. To be fair no one should be paying £995 for brown leather trousers, least of all Theresa May. Let’s hope she strikes a more favourable deal when she negotiates our exit from the EU.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic

If you have any time spare, check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers