The hand washing boffins have said we should be washing our hands for 20secs (2 lots of Happy Birthday, I don’t think it matters who you are wishing a happy birthday).
Don’t get me wrong, due to my lifestyle I am a regular hand washer, but I’m not sure I can commit to 20 secs hygiene-ing myself. So it looks like I will be forced to take my chances with the bugs and diseases. After all when have bugs and diseases done anyone harm?
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New parents are not giving their newborns the names Nigel & Keith. It begs the question, if you could save one of these names which one would it be? Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
It’s also made me wonder if Keith Farage would have helped secure Brexit or would Nigel Chegwin have presented The Naked Jungle in the buff? We may never know.
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Pro Rata… What’s that all about???
Why don’t organisations just tell you what you will earn for that job?
I have heard it said it’s so you can see what you would get if you worked full-time. What’s the point in that when you’re not going to be working full-time. It would be just as relevant as me touching up a picture to make me look
6 ft 4 with blue eyes and blonde hair. Both scenarios only have a passing relationship with reality.
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We took the little one swimming today and it dawned on me that swimming is a lot less stressful when you don’t have a PE teacher trying to push you off the top diving board or forcing you to rescue a brick whilst wearing your pyjamas.
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My management team have told me I should start writing poetry again. They’ve assured me there’s money in it and my brand of pop poetry (easily accessible) will go down well. So I went off to a writing retreat (my bedroom) to come up with the future of poetry. The only problem was that for some reason that I’ve yet to workout why the subjects I was coming up with were, losing in life, being skint and getting old.
I’m not sure how my management team will view them.
Have a listen to my comedy prongcasts. Cheers
It’s only taken 4 years but the comedy prongcast (podcast) I do 3Prong Attack has passed 10 000 listens (this doesn’t include the 1000+ downloads). Thanks to anyone who’s listened.
In other stats based news, the football blog I write has seen its best monthly figures of the year. Working in education as I do, August has also seen me on my summer holidays which may have had something to do with these improved figures. Perhaps this is a sign I should take September off. The only problem with this, is that like Snapchat I’ve yet to find a way to monetise my online popularity and without September’s wage I may struggle to eat and pay bills. It’s something to ponder.
I was looking at the stats of my football blog and it appears that the most popular day came after I tweeted a link where I accidentally used #Waffordfc not #Watfordfc. Does this mean the key to online success is misspelling? Perhaps Google was meant to be Goggle and only became a global success when there was an admin error at America’s equivalent of Companies House.
Have a listen to my comedy prongcast. Thanks.