New parents are not giving their newborns the names Nigel & Keith. It begs the question, if you could save one of these names which one would it be? Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
It’s also made me wonder if Keith Farage would have helped secure Brexit or would Nigel Chegwin have presented The Naked Jungle in the buff? We may never know.
Have a listen to my comedy prongcast.
When I was younger I was told that repeatedly switching the light bulb on and off would blow the bulb. Is there any truth in this or were my parents stopping me from being a nuisance? Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
Listen to my comedy prongcast. Thanks
We took the little one swimming today and it dawned on me that swimming is a lot less stressful when you don’t have a PE teacher trying to push you off the top diving board or forcing you to rescue a brick whilst wearing your pyjamas.
Check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers
My one year boy has just started taking his first tentative steps. He is however good at kicking a ball whilst holding my hand. With this in mind I was wondering what’s the earliest age Premier League clubs offer parents a ‘financial inducement’ to join their academy. The sooner the better from my perspective.
If not a Premier League footballer, I’m thinking a forensics officer as he has an inbuilt ability to find the smallest of bits. There would be some danger that the evidence would end up in his mouth but I suppose that’s the risk of employing toddlers.
Have a listen to my comedy prongcast. Thanks.
Like Ian Wright I need to cut down on my sugar intake.
This realisation, like most realisations in life, came via porridge.
Whenever I’ve made porridge for myself I’ve always added sugar but for my 1 year old I make it without. Being so young I also have to check the temperature is suitable. I do this through the very sophisticated method of sticking my little finger in the porridge. This however means I then have a bit of porridge on my finger and the easiest way to remove this is by licking it off. On doing this I was surprised that it didn’t taste minging, in fact it was more than passable. Since then I’ve tried to take less sugar in my porridge, my other cereals and my cups of tea (down to about half a tea spoon).
Feel free to tell me about your sugar journey, either via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
Listen to my comedy prongcast. Cheers
I managed to work out (I read the instructions) how to turn off the flashing lights and transmission noise on the baby monitor.
It was quite reassuring having the noise, just so we knew it was working but at night it impacted on my sleep. Now I can have uninterrupted sleep, unless the baby wakes, I need the toilet, or as is happening I wake anyway as my sleep pattern is all over the place.
Talking of baby monitors, you can set the volume at 1. Who sets their baby monitor at 1? Surely it’s either set high or in the middle, not one higher than mute. Should you set it at 1 feel free to contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
Listen to my comedy prongcast. Thanks.
The week before the events in the previous blog post, this happened.
The baby was coughing in his sleep so I woke him to give him some medicine. Did he a) go straight back to sleep or b) was he still awake more than an hour later? Answers on a postcard to it’s always answer b with these kind of questions.
Should you have any spare time, check out my comedy podcasts. Cheers.