I won’t apologise.

I won’t apologise for wanting a better, fairer, more equal society.
I won’t apologise for wanting to properly fund our NHS.
I won’t apologise for not wanting 4 million children to live in poverty.

I won’t apologise for wanting to invest in people and parts of this country that have been left behind.
I won’t apologise for not wanting to live in a society where there are more foodbanks than branches of McDonald’s.

I won’t apologise for not wanting to see an increasing number of people sleeping rough on our streets.
I won’t apologise for not blaming all our ills on people who live and work here but come from another country.

I won’t apologise.
I’ll never apologise.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have 32mins to spare, check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

 

Co-written by Boris Johnson

After Boris Johnson failed to appear on the Channel 4 leaders’ debate on the climate, some say the biggest issue facing the planet, I wondered what Boris Johnson would care enough about to bother himself to turn up. Thankfully Boris Johnson was able to help me, by providing many of the words.

Boris Johnson doesn’t care about the climate.
He doesn’t care about “piccanninies with watermelon smiles”.
He doesn’t care about “bum boys in tank-tops”.
He doesn’t care about Muslim women looking like “letterboxes” or “bank robbers”.

Boris Johnson doesn’t care for the truth.
He doesn’t care about misleading the Queen,
or unlawfully proroguing Parliament.
He doesn’t care about Brexit (2 articles written)
He doesn’t care about businesses (“fcuk business)

Boris Johnson doesn’t care about Hillsborough.
He doesn’t care about the “drunk, criminal, feckless” working classes,
or the “irresponsible” single mums.
He doesn’t care about Nazanin,
He doesn’t care about the NHS.

Boris Johnson doesn’t care about how many children he’s fathered.
He doesn’t care about spilling wine on the sofa.
He doesn’t care about me
and he doesn’t care about you.

Boris Johnson only cares for Boris Johnson.

@anunknowncomic

 

 

Extrapolate that!

Brecon & Radnorshire voted to leave the EU by 51.9%-48.1% in 2016.

The by-election was triggered because the Conservative MP had been found guilty of committing expenses fraud. In their wisdom they put the very same man to stand as a candidate.

Plaid and the Greens stepped aside to allow the Lib Dems a clear run, in a Remain Alliance.

The Brexit Party took votes away from the Tories.

It looks like Labour voters voted tactically for the Lib Dems, preferring that to seeing the Conservative win the seat.

With all those factors at play, if anyone reckons they can workout what will happen in a General Election from this result, then they are better than me. (this could be the case)
@anunknowncomic  Check out my comedy podcast. Cheers

 

 

 

Have you been sacked & then promoted?

I’m surprised more hasn’t been made of Boris Johnson’s cabinet appointments of Dominic ‘contempt of parliament’ Cummings, Priti ‘trade deals on hols’ Patel & Gavin ‘national security’ Williamson. Does this happen in the real world, have you been sacked only to go back to the same company a few months later in a more senior position? Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Thanks.
if you like my #1minblog you may like my comedy podcast.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

I work at a Catholic school but I’m not Catholic. When I accepted the job I knew it was a Catholic school and I knew I wasn’t Catholic so when prayers are taking place I sit respectfully. I don’t turn my back.
@anunknowncomic  If you like these blog posts you might like my comedy prongcast. Cheers

 

 

Arron banks Nigel’s lifestyle.

Arron Banks gave Nigel Farage £450 000 to ‘fund his lavish lifestyle’.

a) Is this odd?
b) What does Arron get out of this arrangement?
c) How much would you give me to fund my less than lavish lifestyle?
d) Should I become friends with Arron?
e) Why does Arron spell his name with 2 Rs like no other Aaron?

@anunknowncomic  Also check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

 

 

 

Anything the Beeb can do…

Great news. 3Prong Attack the #prongcast I co-present have won the rights to the leadership debate – the Lib Dem leadership debate. We haven’t worked out the format yet but we’ve only got one mic & we need to be near a plug socket due to the short battery life of Prong2’s laptop. Still it can’t be any worse than the BBC’s effort.

@anunknowncomic