I thought there was a whiff of change in the air, the Colston statue came down, Nigel Farage left LBC, Twitter kicked out Katie Hopkins, Marcus Rashford convinced the government they should feed hungry children and then a plane with ‘White Lives Matter’ flew above a football stadium and I read the comments under the article and thought we still have a plenty to do.
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Tom Watson has written a novel. This is in addition to his weight loss book, ‘Downsizing’. It begs the question, how did he find the time to do all this writing? Up until recently he was the deputy leader of the Labour party, surely his waking hours were taken up with thoughts of how they could win an election not character arcs. I know I don’t have time to write and I finish work at 3:15.
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One of the primary schools we’ve looked at for our boy sent him a Christmas card and present, a book. To paraphrase Tom Jones wrongly, is this usual? Did you get any sweeteners from perspective schools and did it sway your decision? Feel free to let me know via the comments or @anunknowncomic Thanks
Ps we did put the school down but it had nothing to do with the gift, honest!
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One of the more interesting things about Prince Harry’s situation is that he’s quite clearly married outside of his social circle and now views certain things differently than he may have done in the past. I was wondering has this happened to you? Perhaps it’s not has pronounced as Harry & Meghan but maybe you’re a butcher and you married into a family of vegans. Feel free to let me now your situation and how it turned out either via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Thanks.
Should you have a spare 32mins maybe on a commute then why not check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers
My boy likes to hoover so I’ve incorporated it into the long afternoons when I’m looking after him. I don’t know if domestic chores is on any early years curriculum or if it has developmental benefits but the flat is cleaner. Feel free to let me know what everyday things you’ve been able to convince your children are fun. Contact me via the comments buttton or @anunknowncomic Cheers.
Should you have 32mins spare, maybe on your commute check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers
I’m a fan of trying to live your best life although I’m probably the worst person to take advice on such matters, which probably makes it pointless that I’ve put together the blogs I wrote on wellbeing this year. Most of the blog posts seem to be about sleep and not having time, I’m not sure where I get my inspiration. The good thing for you is that each blog post is really short so they won’t eat into your time. Enjoy
Where does time go?
Have you heard of ‘Timeboxing’?
Do you use a small fork?
Screen time to bedtime.
A flaw in my system.
Inserting the toilet roll
How long before bed do you brush your teeth?
Aims and aspirations.
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Last week at work the boy I support went to the cinema but I wasn’t allowed to go. Instead I worked with the Yr 8s. At one point a boy asked “What I was doing for Christmas”? I said, I’ll be travelling the world delivering presents.” He continued, “Are you Santa?” I followed that with, “I’ve said too much.” He then said, “Is that why you have white in your beard?” I instantly put him on the naughty list.
I won’t apologise for wanting a better, fairer, more equal society.
I won’t apologise for wanting to properly fund our NHS.
I won’t apologise for not wanting 4 million children to live in poverty.
I won’t apologise for wanting to invest in people and parts of this country that have been left behind.
I won’t apologise for not wanting to live in a society where there are more foodbanks than branches of McDonald’s.
I won’t apologise for not wanting to see an increasing number of people sleeping rough on our streets.
I won’t apologise for not blaming all our ills on people who live and work here but come from another country.
I won’t apologise.
I’ll never apologise.
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I was looking through some notes from 2013 and one of the things I felt back then was that I didn’t have enough time to do the things I wanted to do. This was 3 years before becoming a dad, so if I didn’t have time then I certainly don’t now, which begs the question, does anyone feel they have time to spare? Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
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After Boris Johnson failed to appear on the Channel 4 leaders’ debate on the climate, some say the biggest issue facing the planet, I wondered what Boris Johnson would care enough about to bother himself to turn up. Thankfully Boris Johnson was able to help me, by providing many of the words.
Boris Johnson doesn’t care about the climate.
He doesn’t care about “piccanninies with watermelon smiles”.
He doesn’t care about “bum boys in tank-tops”.
He doesn’t care about Muslim women looking like “letterboxes” or “bank robbers”.
Boris Johnson doesn’t care for the truth.
He doesn’t care about misleading the Queen,
or unlawfully proroguing Parliament.
He doesn’t care about Brexit (2 articles written)
He doesn’t care about businesses (“fcuk business)
Boris Johnson doesn’t care about Hillsborough.
He doesn’t care about the “drunk, criminal, feckless” working classes,
or the “irresponsible” single mums.
He doesn’t care about Nazanin,
He doesn’t care about the NHS.
Boris Johnson doesn’t care about how many children he’s fathered.
He doesn’t care about spilling wine on the sofa.
He doesn’t care about me
and he doesn’t care about you.
Boris Johnson only cares for Boris Johnson.