Anything the Beeb can do…

Great news. 3Prong Attack the #prongcast I co-present have won the rights to the leadership debate – the Lib Dem leadership debate. We haven’t worked out the format yet but we’ve only got one mic & we need to be near a plug socket due to the short battery life of Prong2’s laptop. Still it can’t be any worse than the BBC’s effort.

@anunknowncomic

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Things are looking up.

The podcast I do, 3Prong Attack got a mention on the Radio 2 blues show presented by Cerys Matthews, it’s the most exciting thing that’s happened to us since Ant & Dec followed us on Twitter for a day. We never did get to the bottom of why they only followed for a day. From what we’ve subsequently learnt, I reckon it was Ant that followed us and it was Dec and their advisers who overruled him.

@anunknowncomic

Do we owe sir vince cable an apology?

I’ve had to sit and watch the political commentariat put the Lib Dems unexpected good performance in the local elections down to a protest vote, a resurgence, or a response to their remain stance over Brexit. The truth however is that on the last 2 prongcasts I do, we have mocked Sir Vince Cable over his lack of achievements as Lib Dem leader. I can only assume the electorate voted in such large numbers for his party just to spite us.

@anunknowncomic

The Curse of 3Prong Attack??

In our latest #prongcast Prong2 mentioned Robert Mugabe, he’s now under house arrest (Mugabe not Prong2). It’s the curse of 3Prong Attack. The first winner of our Prongs of Praise Nigel Pearson, is currently managing in the Belgium 2nd division. It might be worth our while to get people to pay us not to mention them on our podcasts.

@anunknowncomic

From Lewisham to Southwark

Hola. Hope all is well.

2015 was a big year in politics, not only was there the general election, which was covered on this episode of my podcast, (arguably our most coherent #prongcast) but more importantly I was accepted onto the Lewisham Civic Leadership programme. This largely involved going to council meetings. I’ve now graduated from the scheme, and also moved out of Lewisham , 3 months is a very long time in politics.

Should you be interested, and why wouldn’t you be, here is the first of 3 journals I wrote during my time on the scheme. It’s also a chance to see what I look like without glasses.

Ps. Should anyone at Southwark Council be reading this, let’s talk about how I can get involved in the community.

Cheers.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic

How Grimmy can save Radio 1

Hola. Hope you are well.

I read an article recently, looking at how Grimmy (Nick Grimshaw) can attract young listeners to Radio 1.

This interested me because I have a foot, loosely in both camps. As I am sure you’re aware I prongcast (podcast to most people) under the name 3Prong Attack and for the last 4 years I’ve worked in a Secondary school, working with 14,15,16 year olds, an age group Radio 1 would covet.

Thanks to Google and me having my first and surname on my ID badge, some of the children were able to track down my prongcasts. This meant that despite having what could be described as a niche audience, a large percentage are teens. So if Grimmy really wants to boost the number of young listeners to his show, he should take a job working in schools. That or get a well paid job judging talent on X Factor.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic

 

Less is Demure

me. pic by Jay McCorkle

me. pic by Jay McCorkle

Hola. Hope you are well.

Today’s blog is what could be described as a poetry special.

Firstly, I’d like to direct you to a poem of mine, that I read out on the radio show I do. The poem is about the radio show I do, with references only the handful of listeners we get will understand. Should this not put you off, the poem is about 5 mins into the prongcast.

Secondly, I found a poem a couple of weeks ago (in the vault) that I was commissioned to write, on the theme of fashion for Cartwheel Arts, back in 2008/09. (back when there was a little bit of money to pay artists and performers)

As it happened this poem wasn’t used, overlooked for another poem I wrote, despite the photo shoot being designed around this poem (see pic at top of the page). So after a few minor tweaks and a few years on, I thought I’d give it an airing.

All you need to know is, Middleton is a town in Greater Manchester, Hulme is a place in South Manchester and Milan is a place in… you probably know where Milan is.

Less is Demure.

Everyday we decide whether to conform,
Stay ahead of the norm
Or just to stay warm.
From the pristine white at Lords,
To the black worn by Goths,
Even Adam and Eve wore loincloths.

Everyday we decide to dress to impress
Or belie the true feelings we possess.
Yet our search for individuality has got lost,
down the aisles of high street stores.
Where brand whores, put price above child labour laws.

We have editors desperately seeking the next big trend,
But irony dictates, that as soon as anything becomes popular
it is the beginning of the end.

Catwalk models strut their stuff on the runways of Milan,
Wearing outfits only they can.
And I’m not one to assume,
but I don’t think you’ll see these clothes in Middleton or Hulme.

The kids I see, wear sagging jeans in good need of a belt.
Whilst shops sell ‘iccle’ baby grows designed to make the heart melt.
Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts seek warmer climes,
And even Paris Hilton wears knickers sometimes.

Fashion likes to look back on its lot.
From Marilyn Monroe in ‘Some like it Hot’,
To shoulder pads and leggings from a time style forgot.
Yet don’t ask me why,
But there’s nothing wacky about a wacky tie.
I said, there’s nothing wacky about a wacky tie.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic