In our latest #prongcast Prong2 mentioned Robert Mugabe, he’s now under house arrest (Mugabe not Prong2). It’s the curse of 3Prong Attack. The first winner of our Prongs of Praise Nigel Pearson, is currently managing in the Belgium 2nd division. It might be worth our while to get people to pay us not to mention them on our podcasts.
I think the secret to how to spend your free time is to not do too much.
For example, last Tuesday I had a rare free day (I was off work and the boy was at nursery). I used this opportunity to align our patio door, clean an oven tray and record a #prongcast.
It’s not for me to say if I could have been any more productive but it was certainly a relaxing day (that might have had something to do with the pint and a half I also had).
The BBC Pay reveal shows a gap between what men and women are paid and that BMEs are underrepresented (not great news if you’re a BME woman).
Now I’m not saying 3Prong Attack (the #prongcast I do) are better than the BBC but…. both me Prong1 and my co-presenter Prong2 have absolute parity when it comes to pay. I say pay, it’s more like costs.
Plus with me being a person of colour and Prong2 being Jewish, we must tick some cultural boxes. But neither of you are women, I hear you ask. Well, firstly some of our 20 to 30 regular listeners are women and secondly, when we started out the third presenter was a woman. The last I heard she was living out in LA, no doubt continually contemplating on what could have been.
In many ways, we are the model the BBC should be copying, apart from the lack of making money and the no audience but other than that they need to be taking notes.
The #prongcast that I do, 3Prong Attack is running its latest campaign. We are hoping to overtake The Sun newspaper.
We believe, we can better serve their readership by promoting causes that will elevate them, rather than being a mouth piece for those at the top of society.
We’ve been encouraged by the fact that The Sun’s circulation recently fell below 2m for the first time in 43 years.
If you’d like to support our campaign all you have to do is press play on our prongcasts. Our shows can be found on SoundCloud and iTunes.
Hola. Hope you are well.
I wrote a poem about the podcast I do, 3Prong Attack, #prongcast. I know this sounds a little self indulgent but it’s ok because the poem is about failing, a defiant failing but failure all the same. All you really need to know is I’m Prong1 a comedian who’s only income comes from working in a school and my colleague Prong2 who is a jobbing actor who doesn’t seem to get many acting jobs. In addition to this our slogan is ‘It’s Better than you think’.
We’ve Got Our Heads in the SoundCloud
History is written from the winner’s point of view,
We’re what happens when that’s not true.
I’m Prong1 and he’s Prong2
And unless we’re mistaken,
some say wrong,
You the listener, are the third Prong.
We’ve been in this game for 20 years,
Been surpassed by all our peers.
We should have quit and got careers,
It would have saved a lot of tears.
We’re the masters,
of our disasters.
Losers in the game we invented.
Architects of our own downfall,
Took our eye off the ball,
Until there was no ball,
Too many times,
We’ve backed the wrong horse,
on the wrong course.
Over time, expectations have been lowered,
But still not met,
Yet we plough more money into this losing bet.
20 years in this business called show,
Which is ironic as we’ve got nothing, to show.
We started off badly and got progressively worse,
If we deteriorate further, you’ll be calling a hearse.
We’re at an age where we’re supposed to know better,
Should have reached the end of our tether.
We’re analogue thinking in a digital age,
Rock star pretentions on less than minimum wage.
And now we stand here, on the precipice,
By now, you may think we’re a couple of chancers,
Posing more questions than answers.
But we’ve done our 10 000 hours,
Will continue to do whatever’s in our powers.
And if we are going down,
We’re going down fighting.
And if you can’t hear our words,
Then we’ll put it in writing.
Our demise will be on our terms,
We’re prepared to throw everything at this,
including the kitchen sink,
Because 3Prong Attack is,
‘Better than you think’
Written by Prong1