What do you have to do to get attention

elin and tiger woods

Hola. Hope you are well and had a good Bank holiday weekend.

I’ve had a relatively quiet week, taking it easy after Edinburgh. I had one writing workshop to do and I also went to an actual football match in an actual football stadium. During the workshop I had one of those ‘little victories’ that I believe life is built upon. I had to get the people attending the workshop to describe an activity they do as if it were a recipe, which isn’t something you do everyday. After they did this, I asked them, “How did they find that”? As the words were leaving my mouth, I did start thinking, is this a good question to ask, as it does leave me open to negative feedback. It’s one of the reasons I don’t ask the question “Do you love me”? The other reason I don’t ask that question, is that I’M NOT A WOMAN.

Anyway back to the workshop, after a brief pause, one of the attendees said, “It was difficult, but due to the exercises I’d set, he was able to do it.” Then like that scene in Spartacus, others stepped forward and said similar things. This was nice, especially as the person who booked me was in the room. It made me look like someone who knows what he is doing, which isn’t always how I feel. Like most people, I sometimes feel unsure about my abilities or out of my depth. I imagine most people get like this, Jimi Hendrix at some point probably thought, is the guitar for me, Sir Alex Ferguson from time to time probably questions his ability as a football manager, Nick Clegg probably wakes up every morning and thinks he’s out of his depth as Deputy Leader. Maybe the latter isn’t the best example I could have chosen.

Talking of Edinburgh as I did briefly at the top of the page, I met up with Marvin Cheeseman outside a pub in city centre Manchester last week, to do a cash drop off. To onlookers it probably looked like an unlikely dodgy deal. I mention this meeting because after our successful three dates at the Edinburgh Festival you would think on seeing Marvin and I together people would have been tooting their horns at us, pedestrians would be high fiving us and maybe carrying us on their shoulders through the streets of Manchester. But we got nothing. What do you have to do to get some attention round here, stick a cat in a wheely bin???

Onto other matters, a few weeks ago I mentioned how I had to sit through two soppy movies, ‘Before Sunset’ and ‘Before Sunrise’ (see here). Well I inadvertently got my own back on ‘Her With One Permanent Job’. She likes the Coen brothers’ movies so I got ‘No Country for Old Men’ out of the library, (£1 for a week) all I will say is this isn’t a first date movie. There must be over 20 deaths in this film, including a couple of dogs. I suppose it could be a good drinking game movie, you could take a swig of alcohol every time someone dies. By the end of the film you would be p*ssed, so maybe it would be a good first date movie after all.

And Finally… I never really fancied Elin Woods (Nordegren), that was until last week, when she got her divorce settlement from Tiger. There’s something about a woman inheriting £64m that makes them somewhat alluring. I wonder if she drinks and likes violent movies???

                                                 Til next week (Mon), Stay Safe! 

(original post 31/8/10)

Before Sunset, Before Sunrise

ian wright,kate walsh,melinda messenger

Hola. Hope you are all well.

I’ve got a busy week ahead, well busy for me. I’ve got a couple of writing workshops to do and then I’m off to Edinburgh on Thurs for four shows see here. If you’re in Edinburgh or know someone who is in on these days, come along or get them to come along. I’ll be travelling back next Mon, so I will update this blog next Tues. It will also mean I won’t be on the radio this Sat morning. Let’s hope the person they get to replace me isn’t someone who wants to take my place, unlike the last time I was away from the show.

A couple of months ago, I mentioned how I did a few poems at the Manchester Independent Book Market. Well Literature Northwest were there with a camera and have put 3 of my poems on YouTube. You can see my attempt at a Peace poem here and there are 2 more poems here. Cheers.

Last week I mentioned how a couple of Warrington Rugby League fans ruffled my hair. It got me thinking that this had a lot to do with being part of a group (and a little to do with alcohol) , because they wouldn’t have done this if they were on their own. Nobody would do that to a complete stranger if they were on their own. This made me think how many people does it take, in a group before you would feel confident enough to ruffle the hair of a stranger. So the next time you’re out in a big group and you feel confident enough to ruffle a complete stranger’s hair ,do it and then count how many people you are out with and then let me know. If you have an problems when doing this, tell the people involved you are conducting an experiment. I’m sure this will smooth things over.

Talking of last week’s post, just out of interest did anyone click on the pics of Tom Jones’ groin area???

Onto other matters, I’ve had to endure what can only be described as two chick flicks. The first one was ‘Before Sunrise’, where a man and a woman meet on a train, they end up chatting on the train, then they chat whilst walking through Vienna, they chat in a bar, they chat whilst they’re lying in the park. There’s a lot of chatting. We don’t even get to see them boff. Apparently this is romantic. And just when you thought it was safe to go near the DVD player, they made a sequel, ‘Before  Sunset’. This was totally different, when I say totally different, it involved all the chatting of its predecessor but this film was set in Paris. If there are any men reading this and their wives/girlf shows any interest in watching these films, fake an illness, distract her with sex or do whatever you have to do, to get out of watching them. If you’ve watched either of these films let me know your thoughts. I imagine they will differ on gender lines, but I could be wrong.

I was interested to see that Ian Wright has left ‘Live from Studio Five’, which means there is a slot for a black guy to talk nonsense about nonsense. Never has there been a job  description that says me, in the history of job descriptions.

And finally…. In my attempt to be more popular than an octopus I have predicted the League placings for the upcoming Premiership. So if you want to know where your team is going to finish or you’re just interested then click here (and scroll down to bottom).

                                                 Til next week (tues), stay safe!
(original post 16/8/10)