I hope he’s not sick on my coat

splat the rat

Hola. I hope you are well.

I’ve had another varied week. On Thurs I was in Leeds, Garforth Library doing a Young People’s comedy event. When I think of young people the words ‘surly’ and ‘too cool for school’ does cross my mind. But these young people were a really good and engaging audience, which was just as well as I was the only act on, so if they didn’t like me, they were screwed.

On Friday, I was helping ‘Her with one permanent job’ and her charity out. My job was to go to designated shops and pick up gifts, bottle of wines, vouchers etc.. so we could offer them as prizes in a raffle the following day at a festival in Chorlton. The only problem was, I was involved and nothing goes smoothly when I’m involved. So despite each shop having received a phone call in the week and agreeing to this, I was still met with blank faces, or told to come back the next day when the boss would be in or in one place they even told me that I’d received the gifts. It was like the world’s worst ever Treasure Hunt. I’d crack the clues, get to the correct location but there’d be no sweets for me. So I did what any self-respecting man would do in this situation, I rang ‘HWOPJ’ to sort it out.

On Sat, I helped out on the stall at the Festival (it was more like a village fete). Despite having great prizes for the raffle, including a £100 voucher for a hair salon, or a £30 meal voucher for correctly naming a Tiger (a toy one), the most popular thing at our stall was ‘rock the croc’. If I was to say ‘rock the croc’ was basic I think I would be giving it too much praise (see the pic at the top of the post). It’s normally called ‘Splat the Rat’ but we didn’t have a toy rat but we did have a fluffy green toy crocodile. The idea was for me or ‘HWOPJ’ to drop the fluffy green toy croc down the tube and for the competitor has to hit the croc with a stick before it hits the ground. It’s actually harder than it sounds. My unscientific findings were that it was most popular with young boys trying to impress their friends and older guys trying to impress their wives.

After the festival, we were driving back when ‘HWOPJ’ and ‘HWOPJ’s mum’ spotted a man collapsed on the pavement. They got out of the car, called an ambulance and comforted the man who had a fit. I had to stay in the car holding the ‘rock the croc’ to ensure it didn’t slip through the windscreen. My coat however was used to prop his head up. I hope it doesn’t sound bad, but I was thinking “I hope he doesn’t throw up on my coat”. He didn’t, and for those who are concerned by the time the ambulance came the man was up and puffing on a cigarette, a sure sign of good health.

And Finally…. Yesterday (18th july) I was doing 10mins of my poems at the Earth Cafe, at the Buddhist Centre in M’cr. It was a really friendly audience and people laughed in the right places, which is all I can ask for. Afterwards a woman came up to me and said my poems “had lifted her spirits”, which was a really kind thing to say. I mentioned this to one of ‘HWOPJ’s’ relatives (not mentioning any names Cath) who said, “the woman must have been really low”. Everyone’s a critic.

                                                          Til next week, stay safe!
(original post 19/7/10)