Opening a can of beans

Hola. Hope you are well.

I was interested to see that Chris Martin (Coldplay) is back eating meat after splitting from his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow a strict vegetarian. The implication being that his decision to not eat meat during his marriage was a decision influenced by his wife. With this in mind, what would be the first thing you’d give up/take up, if you were to split with your current partner? Let me know via the comments button, or on twitter @anunknowncomic

In other showbiz wedding news, Cheryl Cole recently got married to Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini. Apparently her husband spent £300 000 on the engagement and wedding ring. I’m sure no one reading this has that kind of money to spend on a wedding ring but I am interested to know how much you’ve spent on a wedding ring. Maybe you’ve been married a few times and so collectively you’ve spent a fair whack on wedding rings . Alternatively, I’d like to hear from people who’ve spent very little on a wedding, the cheaper the better and how was it received?

And finally…. in matters closer to home, my other half, unbeknown to me decided to take our only tin opener to work, meaning I had to improvise when for lunch I needed to open a tin of beans. For those interested, I used a hammer and a knife and made holes all round the can until I was able to remove the lid. Let me know when you’ve used an item for something other than what it was designed for.

Til next time, stay safe!

An unknown comedian is the co-author of, ‘How to Dump Your Girlfriend’