Humming

A couple of weeks ago whilst listening to BBC 5Live I learnt that you can transform your life for the better by humming for 10 minutes when you first get up. I could by now be living in some kind of elevated existence but I’ve spurned this opportunity because the idea of humming each morning seems a bit weird. However that’s just me, is anyone an advocate of humming, or would you be prepared to do it and let me know how it enhances your life. Cheers. You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic

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Inserting the toilet roll.

For a few months our blind in the kitchen was somewhat annoying me. Almost every week the plastic thing on the chain, that connects the two parts would get stuck at the top, whilst the blind would only be a quarter up. This would only only allow an unsatisfactory amount of light in. So every week I would have to get a chair, kneel on the sink, usually wetting up my knee, take off the blind, roll it up, only for the problem to occur a few days later. I had noticed that the inside of the big cardboard tube that the blind was attached to was a bit frayed due to the pulley system inside it. So I decided to cut off a bit off toilet roll tube and insert it into the big tube. I don’t want to speak too soon but for the last couple of months it’s worked perfectly. This may well be one of my biggest successes of the last 10 years.

@anunknowncomic

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Do I look like a roadie?

I stupidly wore a t-shirt with ‘crew’ on the back to a family friendly festival. At the end of the day, after all the bands had packed away, some children including my own were playing on the stage. I was hanging around at the back when one mum asked, “Are you waiting to take the stage away?” Do I look like a roadie?

@anunknowncomic

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Alternative birthday presents.

It’s coming up to my boy’s 3rd birthday and his family will generously want to buy him presents but what? He has plenty of toys and yet often seems to find more joy in playing ‘hide the potato’ but if we were to ask relatives to buy him a potato for his birthday they’d think we’d gone mad. Between the books he owns, the library and Dolly Parton who sends him a book every month, he’s fine on reading material.

Obviously I don’t want to stop people getting him something but was wondering if you and your family do some kind of alternative present giving.

Any suggestions will be considered.  You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Cheers

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How many times can you get chickenpox?

It’s my week off and I had thought I might get a few things done (let’s face it it wouldn’t be anything too significant) but then my boy caught chickenpox for the second time. This has meant no nursery and me on parenting duties. The hardest part is finding play areas where there are no other children and if children do come along I have to scarper which is not a good look.

Apparently it’s extremely rare to get chickenpox twice but before I think about my 6 weeks holiday, I’m just checking you can’t catch it for a third time.

@anunknowncomic

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How long before bed do you brush your teeth?

I read an article about sleep that suggested brushing your teeth an hour before bed helps you get a better night’s sleep. Does anyone do that? Surely brushing your teeth is one of the last things you do before bed. The piece didn’t say why this is the case, my thinking is it gets your mind believing sleepy time is near. Although my friend on twitter reckons it’s because brushing your teeth wakes you up a bit, so perhaps I’m no nearer to knowing why. I doubt I’ll be doing it anyway because I know as soon as I brush my teeth I’ll want something to eat.

One thing I did find, is that reading articles on sleep made me feel tired, the only problem with that is I was at work whilst reading them, which is not ideal.

Feel free to let me know if you go early with the brushing of your teeth and does it aid your sleep. Contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Cheers.

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Tales from the bin area.

A bit over a month ago I found Keith Richard’s autobiography in the communal bin area (it wasn’t in the bin it was in a plastic bag of other books & DVDs on the ground). I took the book because I’d previously wanted to read it. Then a couple of weeks ago I found a working watch in the recycling bin. It was poking out from a box of letters. I had been thinking about treating myself to a new watch as mine had been playing up for a while. One of the good things about this watch is that it glows in the dark so when I can’t sleep at night I know exactly what time it is. Who knew that the most successful aspect of my life would centre around the communal bin area?

@anunknowncomic

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Swings & roundabouts.

On Saturday mornings I help primary school children with their reading (officially I’m a Literacy Intervention Tutor). The venue I’ve been working at since September has ended so in the last few weeks I’ve moved to a new location meaning I’m dealing with new children and a new co-ordinator. On the plus side the new location is within walking distance. The previous location meant getting a train there and a train back which ate into my very small wage. The downside of this new venue however is that I have to walk along a 6 lane carriageway, so although I’m up financially I’m down in the lungs.

@anunknowncomic

If you like your comedy unscripted, unedited & 32mins check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers