Last week at work the boy I support went to the cinema but I wasn’t allowed to go. Instead I worked with the Yr 8s. At one point a boy asked “What I was doing for Christmas”? I said, I’ll be travelling the world delivering presents.” He continued, “Are you Santa?” I followed that with, “I’ve said too much.” He then said, “Is that why you have white in your beard?” I instantly put him on the naughty list.
If you’re ill would you
a) do nothing and hope it goes away
b) ring 111
c) go to the pharmacy
d) attempt to see your GP
e) go to A&E
f) ask Alexa
Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
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I was in a playground this morning, when a man outside the playground asked if he could use my phone to ring his friend. He tried to reassure me everything was above board by saying I could keep hold of the phone. There was nothing about him or his request that made me think this would be a good idea so I lied and said I’d left my phone at home but was I right? Have you ever lent your phone to a stranger and it turned out well? Maybe that’s how you met your wife/husband etc… Feel free to let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
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I spend a lot of time in playgrounds (I HAVE A YOUNG CHILD). A large part of that time is spent pushing my boy on the swing. This time has in no way been wasted time as it’s enabled me to witness the different techniques at play. People either push from behind, the front or stand at the side and swing the chain. Which is your preference? For what it’s worth I’m firmly in the push from behind camp. Feel free to let me know your thoughts, either via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
If you like my blog posts you might like my comedy prongcast and even if you don’t like my blog posts you might like my comedy prongcast. What I’m saying is give it a go. Cheers
Great news. 3Prong Attack the #prongcast I co-present have won the rights to the leadership debate – the Lib Dem leadership debate. We haven’t worked out the format yet but we’ve only got one mic & we need to be near a plug socket due to the short battery life of Prong2’s laptop. Still it can’t be any worse than the BBC’s effort.
My current financial strategy is based around the fact the football season has now ended. This means I won’t be watching any matches in the pub and spending £6.60 on my pint and a half per game (2 pints if I’m treating myself). The only problem with this strategy is the time I would have been in the pub will no doubt be swapped for family time which is likely to cost me more than £6.60.
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A couple of weeks ago whilst listening to BBC 5Live I learnt that you can transform your life for the better by humming for 10 minutes when you first get up. I could by now be living in some kind of elevated existence but I’ve spurned this opportunity because the idea of humming each morning seems a bit weird. However that’s just me, is anyone an advocate of humming, or would you be prepared to do it and let me know how it enhances your life. Cheers. You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
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For a few months our blind in the kitchen was somewhat annoying me. Almost every week the plastic thing on the chain, that connects the two parts would get stuck at the top, whilst the blind would only be a quarter up. This would only only allow an unsatisfactory amount of light in. So every week I would have to get a chair, kneel on the sink, usually wetting up my knee, take off the blind, roll it up, only for the problem to occur a few days later. I had noticed that the inside of the big cardboard tube that the blind was attached to was a bit frayed due to the pulley system inside it. So I decided to cut off a bit off toilet roll tube and insert it into the big tube. I don’t want to speak too soon but for the last couple of months it’s worked perfectly. This may well be one of my biggest successes of the last 10 years.
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I stupidly wore a t-shirt with ‘crew’ on the back to a family friendly festival. At the end of the day, after all the bands had packed away, some children including my own were playing on the stage. I was hanging around at the back when one mum asked, “Are you waiting to take the stage away?” Do I look like a roadie?
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It’s my week off and I had thought I might get a few things done (let’s face it it wouldn’t be anything too significant) but then my boy caught chickenpox for the second time. This has meant no nursery and me on parenting duties. The hardest part is finding play areas where there are no other children and if children do come along I have to scarper which is not a good look.
Apparently it’s extremely rare to get chickenpox twice but before I think about my 6 weeks holiday, I’m just checking you can’t catch it for a third time.
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