Pop Poetry

My management team have told me I should start writing poetry again. They’ve assured me there’s money in it and my brand of pop poetry (easily accessible) will go down well. So I went off to a writing retreat (my bedroom) to come up with the future of poetry. The only problem was that for some reason that I’ve yet to workout why the  subjects I was coming up with were, losing in life, being skint and getting old.

I’m not sure how my management team will view them.

@anunknowncomic

Have a listen to my comedy prongcasts. Cheers

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Something to ponder.

It’s only taken 4 years but the comedy prongcast (podcast) I do 3Prong Attack has passed 10 000 listens (this doesn’t include the 1000+ downloads). Thanks to anyone who’s listened.

In other stats based news, the football blog I write has seen its best monthly figures of the year. Working in education as I do, August has also seen me on my summer holidays which may have had something to do with these improved figures. Perhaps this is a sign I should take September off. The only problem with this, is that like Snapchat I’ve yet to find a way to monetise my online popularity and without September’s wage I may struggle to eat and pay bills. It’s something to ponder.

@viewfromthetrev

Rioting workshops

When I used to do poetry workshops in prisons before and after 2010 there were definitely less riots and general violence in prisons.

Some people might say this is because the government have cut the number of prison officers. Others may point to the fact experienced officers have been replaced with young and inexperienced officers, who are unable to deal as effectively with such circumstances. Some may say that the above reasons has meant that prisoners are being locked up for upto 23 hours a day leading to justified resentment. Others may say we send too many people to prison in the first place.

I on the other hand am saying the increase in prison violence is down to my lack of poetry workshops. So confident of my abilities that during the next prison riots I want the governor to ring me and I will guarantee to calm the situation within 2 hours with a mix of word association games and a few clever rhymes. I await the call.

@anunknowncomic

Listen to my comedy prongcast. Cheers.