Am I Santa?

Last week at work the boy I support went to the cinema but I wasn’t allowed to go. Instead I worked with the Yr 8s. At one point a boy asked “What I was doing for Christmas”? I said, I’ll be travelling the world delivering presents.” He continued, “Are you Santa?” I followed that with, “I’ve said too much.” He then said, “Is that why you have white in your beard?” I instantly put him on the naughty list.

@anunknowncomic

 

Tinkering with your CV

I know it’s been said that tinkering with your CV is the job searcher’s favourite way to procrastinate but I’ve decided to alter my personal profile. Let me know your thoughts. You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Cheers.

Julian has over 20 years’ experience working with young people and adults from numerous backgrounds in various settings. His work has taken him into Primary and Secondary schools, plus Post 16 education, Young Offenders’ Institutions and prisons. He’s worked as a Community Literacy Tutor, Teaching Assistant, Mentor and workshop facilitator. He’s supported people with conditions such as autism, ADHD and Down’s Syndrome. He is looking for exciting opportunities in pastoral support roles within education, advice and guidance and social communication.

Should you have 32mins to spare check out my comedy prongcast. Thanks

How many times can you get chickenpox?

It’s my week off and I had thought I might get a few things done (let’s face it it wouldn’t be anything too significant) but then my boy caught chickenpox for the second time. This has meant no nursery and me on parenting duties. The hardest part is finding play areas where there are no other children and if children do come along I have to scarper which is not a good look.

Apparently it’s extremely rare to get chickenpox twice but before I think about my 6 weeks holiday, I’m just checking you can’t catch it for a third time.

@anunknowncomic

If you like your comedy unedited, unscripted & about 32 mins check out my prongcast. Cheers

Authority figure.

Some people seem to have an air of authority and some people don’t. I’m not going to say which camp I fall into BUT the other week I made an announcement in the Year 11 assembly (I work in a school) and 15-20 children started laughing, to the extent the Head of Year felt the need to say, “What’s so funny?!” There was nothing intrinsically funny in the message the humour came from the fact it was me delivering it.

Feel free to let me know if you struggle to be taken seriously (via the comments button or @anunknowncomic).

Also check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

Something to ponder.

It’s only taken 4 years but the comedy prongcast (podcast) I do 3Prong Attack has passed 10 000 listens (this doesn’t include the 1000+ downloads). Thanks to anyone who’s listened.

In other stats based news, the football blog I write has seen its best monthly figures of the year. Working in education as I do, August has also seen me on my summer holidays which may have had something to do with these improved figures. Perhaps this is a sign I should take September off. The only problem with this, is that like Snapchat I’ve yet to find a way to monetise my online popularity and without September’s wage I may struggle to eat and pay bills. It’s something to ponder.

@viewfromthetrev

Dog eat dog

When I’m not being an unknown comedian, I am an unknown teaching assistant in a school. Recently, the department I work in, SEND (Special Educational Needs & Disability) was externally audited to see if we are value for money.

It’s probably not surprising schools are looking at ways they can make themselves more ‘efficient’ when the government is imposing severe cuts on state schools. (£3bn by 2019-20)

It’s in this climate that I read an article about how more and more schools have started employing a dog as a Learning Support. In addition to this, Cambridge University now use a cat to help their students deal with stress.

When other species can do your job, it really makes you question your career choices. (sad face)

@anunknowncomic

If you have time, check out my comedy prongcasts. Thanks

 

 

I’m not Paul Nuttall

Unlike Paul Nuttall I know what is written on my website. Mainly because I wrote it.

Recently, I re-did my ‘About Me’ page. I’ve tried to reflect the creative projects I’m involved in, plus my work with young people in education.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

Should you have time, take a listen to my comedy prongcasts. Cheers

@anunknowncomic

How many fish in a think tank?

Hola. Hope you are well.

As some of you may know, as well as being an unknown comedian, I also work in a school as a teaching assistant.

The child I work with has just started their GCSEs. GCSEs however have just been restructured, with pupils now taking exams at the end of the course, as opposed to the modular system which has been in place in recent years.

Under the modular system pupils would cover a certain part of the syllabus and then be tested on it, so would be continually assessed during their 2 years of GCSEs.

There are arguments for and against both systems but it does make me wonder how soon a political think tank will say this current exam based system is unfair and puts too much pressure on pupils to perform for a one-off exam and call for a system that more truly reflects a student’s ability over the 2 years.

Answers on a postcard! (please show your workings)

Til next time stay, safe!

@anunknowncomic

Prongcasts