Lost Profits

orange peel

Hola. Hope you are well.

Last week I mentioned it was ‘Happy Monday’ (the happiest day of the year), this coming 2 weeks after ‘Blue Monday’ (the most depressing day of the year) well this Monday is ‘Sickie Monday’. The day most people will call in sick with a fake illness. I have no idea how or who works this out. So if you are the person behind this please show your workings out. I’m surprised ‘Sickie Monday’ didn’t coincide with ‘Blue Monday’. It would appear that people went to work when depressed but not 3 weeks later, odd.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was having CRB trouble (the criminal check clearing me to work with children). The initial problem was that despite the fact I had one it wasn’t portable so I had to get a new one, at my own expense. I was tracking its progress on the internet and saw it had been sent back to the agency as there must have been a problem with the form. I therefore let the agency know this and they said they would contact me when the form came back. I hadn’t heard back from the agency for over a week, so I rang them and they said they hadn’t received the form. After 2 weeks I rang again and they still hadn’t received the form. So I thought I would be pro-active, I’d heard successful people use this word so I thought I would try it. So I emailed the person at the agency who deals with CRB applications and said when the CRB does turn up scrap it as I would process it with another agency. The next day I processed the new CRB with the new agency, at my own expense. The next day I received an email from the original agency, saying they had in fact received my CRB form and had corrected the mistakes and had already sent it back to the CRB people, a few days earlier. Of course if I had known this I wouldn’t have processed the second one. So I’ve gone from having one CRB clearance but which wasn’t portable to three, two of which are portable.

Other than my bureaucracy problems, I having been taking in a bit of Art. Here in the sophisticated south, they have a promotion called ‘First Thursday’ where galleries open their doors late giving more people the chance to see the exhibitions. I have to be honest at this point  and say I have a very basic understanding of art. When I say basic, I mean I look at a piece of art and go, ” I like that” or “I don’t really get that”. For example, one of the artists had drawn pics of her dog (now dead) and I could see they were drawings of a dog. However, in another gallery there was some orange peel on display. To me that’s not art, that’s littering. As it so happened before going to these galleries, I was a bit peckish, so I had a banana but I couldn’t find a bin after I’d eaten it so I put the skin in my coat pocket. On seeing the orange peel, it reminded me of the banana skin in my pocket, so I decided I would add my own touch to the display. I didn’t  really but I was a little bit tempted. It would however have been quite embarrassing getting chucked out of an art gallery. Imagine if  I had been charged for criminal damage? Not only would I be the lamest felon in Britain, it would also severely muck up my chances of passing my 2 CRB checks.

And Finally… At christmas my brother gave me some money as a present, quite a lot of money (£60) but I didn’t think we were doing the whole swapping of presents, so I just got him a bottle of  wine for him and his missus. The wine by the way was considerably less than £60, so this put me in an awkward position. I decided I would give him back the money but yesterday was the first time I’d seen him since Christmas, as ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ and I went round to his to watch football.  Afterwards he gave us a lift back, this was when I gave him back the envelope of money. With this being London, he got out of the car to give ‘HWOPJ’ a hug goodbye. About an hour later, I got a call from him saying he couldn’t find the money and that he thought when he opened the door to get out of the car the envelope had flown out. My natural instinct was to think it must still be in the car, but I still went outside to check. And there was the envelope on the floor meters  from where the car was parked, unopened and the money still inside.. This was made more remarkable not cos there are a few chancers in our area but because it was a really windy day, so for the envelope not to have moved was unreal. But what this ultimately means is that I’m now a bottle of wine down from the Christmas experience.

Til next week, stay safe!