I won’t apologise.

I won’t apologise for wanting a better, fairer, more equal society.
I won’t apologise for wanting to properly fund our NHS.
I won’t apologise for not wanting 4 million children to live in poverty.

I won’t apologise for wanting to invest in people and parts of this country that have been left behind.
I won’t apologise for not wanting to live in a society where there are more foodbanks than branches of McDonald’s.

I won’t apologise for not wanting to see an increasing number of people sleeping rough on our streets.
I won’t apologise for not blaming all our ills on people who live and work here but come from another country.

I won’t apologise.
I’ll never apologise.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have 32mins to spare, check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

 

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Co-written by Boris Johnson

After Boris Johnson failed to appear on the Channel 4 leaders’ debate on the climate, some say the biggest issue facing the planet, I wondered what Boris Johnson would care enough about to bother himself to turn up. Thankfully Boris Johnson was able to help me, by providing many of the words.

Boris Johnson doesn’t care about the climate.
He doesn’t care about “piccanninies with watermelon smiles”.
He doesn’t care about “bum boys in tank-tops”.
He doesn’t care about Muslim women looking like “letterboxes” or “bank robbers”.

Boris Johnson doesn’t care for the truth.
He doesn’t care about misleading the Queen,
or unlawfully proroguing Parliament.
He doesn’t care about Brexit (2 articles written)
He doesn’t care about businesses (“fcuk business)

Boris Johnson doesn’t care about Hillsborough.
He doesn’t care about the “drunk, criminal, feckless” working classes,
or the “irresponsible” single mums.
He doesn’t care about Nazanin,
He doesn’t care about the NHS.

Boris Johnson doesn’t care about how many children he’s fathered.
He doesn’t care about spilling wine on the sofa.
He doesn’t care about me
and he doesn’t care about you.

Boris Johnson only cares for Boris Johnson.

@anunknowncomic

 

 

Never Forget

I’ve heard it said Theresa May’s political career will be defined by Brexit. I sincerely hope not as I wouldn’t want people to forget the Hostile Environment she created at the home office resulting in the ‘Go Home Vans’ and the Windrush cruelty. I wouldn’t want people to forget how she significantly cut police numbers as Home Secretary. I wouldn’t want people to forget her awful 2017 election campaign where not only did she repeat her mantra, ‘Strong & Stable’ to the point of ridicule but had to do the unheard thing of abandoning her manifesto policy (‘dementia tax’) part way through the campaign. And I certainly wouldn’t want people to forget how she treated the Grenfell survivors.

@anunknowncomic

Check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

The last word on the General Election

I know the world has moved on from the General Election but I feel everyone needs to read my thoughts, so here goes.

• Firstly, why would you call an election and make it about personality when you don’t have any … erm… personality.
• Hopefully this election has put to bed the idea that Lynton Crosby is some kind of genius. Thankfully the public saw through soundbite politics. It would appear the electorate weren’t prepared to put up with ‘strong and stable’ for 7 weeks.
• Despite their best efforts it would appear the ability of papers like The Sun and The Daily Mail to influence the voters is on the wane.
• The last point may in some ways have something to do with the increase in the youth vote, who don’t get their news from the traditional media.
• And finally it was good to see the experts before the election telling us how it was going to go and then after the election tell us why these things didn’t happen. It’s almost like the political experts don’t really know what the electorate is going to do.

@anunknowncomic

Have a listen to my comedy prongcast. Cheers

Theresa may have ballsed it up

Theresa May called the election so she could have a clear mandate for when she entered the Brexit negotiations. The only thing that is now clear is that she doesn’t have that mandate. If she truly believed in having this mandate she would have called the election and only when this mandate was secured would she trigger Article 50.

After her disastrous election, Theresa May is now saying the country needs a period of stability. If she really cared about stability she wouldn’t have called a snap election.

@anunknowncomic

Check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

Coalition of Chaos

My new album ‘Coalition of Chaos’ will be out June 9th.

It includes tracks like:

• Hinkley’s on Hold
• Screwing the self-employed
• Brexit means Brexit
• No running commentary
• Just About Managing
• Don’t mention my leather trousers
• No time for independence
• I used to be a Remainer

@anunknowncomic

Should you have time check out my comedy prongcasts. Thanks.

Aspiration and wealth creators

Hola. Hope you are well.

Since the election I’ve heard a number of senior Labour figures past and present, saying the party needed/needs to talk more about ‘aspiration’ and appeal to the ‘wealth creators’.

Firstly, since when have we been using the term wealth creators, for business people?

Secondly, the party that won the election {SPOILER ALERT} the Conservatives, ended their campaign by saying wouldn’t it be scary if Ed Miliband was the Prime Minister, with Nicola Sturgeon pulling the strings. That is hardly aspirational.

Should you wish to know what is in store for us politically in the next 5yrs listen to this episode of my radio show (below)

It includes a mention of Dappy from NDubz and how to correctly pronounce Chuka Umunna.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic

Is politics for the likes of you and me?

Hola. Hope you are well.

Here’s what I wrote in this very blog in Nov 2013

then a few days ago this happened .

I’m obviously some kind of modern day Nostradamus figure.

There’s been a high level of snootiness from certain sections of the media (the sections you could probably predict) towards the Russell Brand/Ed Miliband interview.

It’s almost as if these people think that political discussion can only take place in their newspapers/tv programmes. Yet Russell Brand despite not being part of the mainstream media, housing The Trews (True News) on YouTube,  has over 1 million subscribers and more than 150 000 people regularly watch his videos.

I imagine (I haven’t done any research) that a good percentage of his viewers are dissatisfied with party politics and/or the reporting of it in mainstream media.

Instead of being critical of Ed Miliband speaking with Russell Brand, I think more MPs should try to reach those people who are disengaged by the status quo of politics. Unless of course the political elite don’t want a well informed, empowered electorate, challenging policy and seeking alternative solutions.

That’s why I don’t believe, putting an X in a box every 5 years is democracy. This should just be the start of our involvement with politics.

In Other Political News: my mate Prong2 (from my radio show) has written the unofficial song for the General Election, watch the video here.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have time, listen to my comedy Prongcasts