Keys or Pirates

house keys

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’m currently writing this in London, don’t worry I’ve not made the move south just yet, although it is less than 2 weeks away. I’m here visiting ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ and dropping some of my stuff off at the new flat. It’s a bit weird being in the flat because although it is ‘our’ flat but ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ has been living here since early Oct so I’m playing catch up. I feel a bit like a guest in my own flat. I imagine it’s similar to when soldiers are away on duty when their child is born, only to see that child for the first time when it’s 6 weeks old. Not that I’m comparing children with flats, although I wonder which is cheaper, buying a flat in London or bringing up a child to the age of 18.

I have an apology to make. Last week I updated my blog on a Wednesday, this was unintentional. I typed it up on the Mon as usual, but due to a technical error or human error (I’m erring towards human error) it got saved as draft and didn’t get published to the world. It was only when ‘HWOPJ’ mentioned she couldn’t see the post that I was alerted to the situation and rectified as soon as I could (after 3 trips to the tip as it happened). I apologise for any stress caused by the delay of my weekly update.

Last Monday I did however manage to go and see some comedy at ‘Mirth on Monday’ at the Iguana bar, Chorlton. The reason I mention this night is because the mate I was with, who I’ve known for almost 10yrs told me something about himself that genuinely surprised me. Prepare to be shocked. He lives with his family, his mum and two sisters, all adults and yet they only have 2 sets of house keys between the four of them. I couldn’t get my head around this, to the point I think he got annoyed by my continued questioning. He also reckons that it makes his family closer as they have to keep in touch with each other to check about the whereabouts of the keys. He maybe right and they may have stumbled across a formula for happy family life, but I still think it’s weird but I’m willing to be proved wrong. So please let me know if you’re an adult and you don’t have your own set of house keys. (Feel free to get in touch via the comments button).

Onto what some would say is weightier issues and kidnapping. I was glad to see that the couple Rachel and Paul Chandler have been released after being captured by Somali Pirates 13 months ago. Not much is known about the release but we do know a ransom was paid, either by the family or someone on the families behalf. What I would like to know is how you set up such a transaction, would you need to set up a standing order/direct debut with the pirates? If you’ve ever had to hand over money to pirates, feel free to let us know what the procedure is. I wonder if we are more likely to hear from an adult without a house key or someone who’s had to deal with pirates?

Now onto something that the nation is quite clearly talking about and that is my tea drinking habit. Regular readers will know that I’m trying to cut back on my tea intake. Two weeks ago I only had 2 cups of tea, but last week however I had 5 cups of tea. The week started badly as I had one cup on Mon, Tues and Weds, I then had one on Fri and yesterday ‘HWOPJ’ talked me into having one even though she knew of my self-imposed rationing. I plan to be more disciplined this week, but who knows what will happen.

And Finally…. I just thought I’d let you know that this coming Sat (20/11/10) will be a historic date in radio as it will be my last appearance as the regular reviewer on Sam Walker’s BBC Radio Manchester breakfast show. You can catch me between 8am-9am on 95:1Fm (in mcr area) on Digital radio (in the mcr area) or online (if you are in the world and have a computer). If you do miss it there is always the listen again facility on the BBC Radio Manchester website. But don’t worry if you don’t get to hear the show as we won’t be doing anything out of the ordinary.

Til Next Week, Stay Safe!

Are you the comedian guy?

ronan keating and his wife


Hola. I hope you are well. Apologies for posting on a Tues, it wasn’t because yesterday was a Bank Hol, it was due to a technical difficulty and me being an idiot. I typed the blog late last night, put on all the links, published it and then accidentally deleted it. The moral of this story is don’t try to do anything that requires concentration late at night whilst watching Graham Norton

I’m sure you’ve all been waiting in tenterhooks to find out how my gig at the Iguana bar went last Mon. For those that weren’t there, let me tell you it was a rip-roaring success, by the end of my set the punters lifted me onto their shoulders and carried me through the streets of Chorlton, lauding me as a comedy God. Those that were there will know it went ok. I went on first, which is always tricky as the audience isn’t warmed up (i.e. pisssed). I got laughs throughout my set, but there were also periods when it was just a man chatting on stage. Having said that, I really enjoyed it, which isn’t always the case when I do stand up. 

Also last week, I went to a free screening of new film, ‘Death at a Funeral’, starring Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence. I felt it had all the ingredients to be funnier than it was, there was slapstick, poo, a dwarf and as is obligatory with a film with a mainly black cast, an ‘idiot white boyfriend’. The best way to sum up this is to say if I’d paid £7:50 I’d have been disappointed, If I’d got in for half price courtesy of Orange Wednesdays, I’d have thought it was alright, but as I got in for free I enjoyed it. 

After the film, whilst waiting for the bus, a woman came up to me and said, “Are you the comedian guy”? I responded with a “Yes”, whilst desperately trying to rack my brain, to workout who she was. My brain was giving me nothing (not for the first time), which must have been obvious, as she then said, “You don’t recognise me do you”? I didn’t, so I had to admit to this. Then my friend Nadeem (the poet, not my other friend Nadeem) came along and said “Hi Dee”, making me look like a totally self-absorbed idiot, who can’t be bothered to remember people they have met. Cheers. Feel free to let me know if anything like this has happened to you. 

Regulars to this blog will know that a couple of weeks ago I emailed a train company complaining that the last train back to M’cr from Liverpool on a Sat night was too early (23:38) and they should put on a later train. I got an email back from the train company, Woohoo!!! Unfortunately it was bad news as apparently train companies don’t work their schedules around unknown comedians, they have boring rules and regulations they have to adhere to, Boohoo!!

I also found out I’ve made it onto YouTube. About a month ago I was asked by Literature Northwest, to take part in a scheme to promote Northwest writers. It basically involved me talking to a camera, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. Check it out here. (tis only 2mins 54) 

And Finally…I read in the Sunday Mirror, (so it must be true) that Ronan Keating has managed to grovel his way back into his wife’s affections, after his 7 month affair. It was also claimed he was writing love songs for his wife. My advice having heard Ronan’s music, is to say,

“Don’t do it, quit whilst you’re ahead”!!!


                                             Til next week (Mon), stay safe!
(original post 1/6/10) 

When will I be famous?

the sun

Hola. I hope you are all well and enjoying the sun. Everything seems better when the sun is out. ‘Her with one permanent job’ was off work, so we ended up having a picnic and eating middle class foods.

I am making my return to stand up comedy, later tonight (Mon 24th May). It’s at the Iguana bar, Chorlton, Doors 8pm, Show starts just after 9pm, £3 (pay on the door). For some reason and I’m not sure why but I’m not nervous, normally I would be. I’m sure in a few hours I’ll be cacking myself.

I’ve had quite a varied week, for starters, the place I lodge is getting a new bathroom. Due to my ‘relaxed’ working hours, I’ve been in whilst the plumber/electrician has been working. This has meant I’ve got to know him quite well. I’m one of these people who other people feel quite comfortable in my company. This usually means people either tell me about their life history, not long after meeting me, or they feel they can mock me not long after meeting me. I now have a third scenario, cos day two of knowing this workman, he was stood in front of me in just his boxer shorts. I have to admit, I didn’t realise we’d got to that stage of  our relationship. I’ll let you know if things move on between us.

Also last week, I watched a couple of films, ‘In the Loop’, it’s a funny film, taking a behind the scenes look at high level politics. I really enjoyed it, although if high level politics is anything like this, then I feel sorry for politicians. (well maybe not all politicians)

Talking of politicians, I’m still having my email discussions with my local Lib Dem MP. I’m not sure how this is going to end but I’m thinking either with me as the first ever black Prime Minister or with this MP being a guest on the radio show I’m involved in and it being a little awkward.

The other film I watched was new film ‘4 Lions’, again I enjoyed it, although it may sound a bit odd to say about a film about British based suicide bombers, but I did think it was going to be funnier. Mainly because it was written by Chris Morris, him of ‘Brass eye’ fame.

And Finally… I was at a party on Saturday night, and apparently when I walked in, one of the other guests said, “Is that Julian Daniel”. ‘HWOPJ’ said “How does it feel to be famous?”
So I said, “Pretty much the same as I did when I was getting up at 6am, earlier in the day to get into the radio station”. This fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

                                                     Til next week, stay safe!
(original post 24/5/10)