That There London

shoreditch house

Hola, Hope you are all well.

I had another varied week. On Friday, I opened the Manchester Independent Book Market, in St Ann’s Square. I say opened it, I just happened to be the first act on, but opened it sounds a whole lot better. It’s always interesting doing outdoor readings, mainly because the passers-by have a certain level of interest before moving on. I think people see a man with a microphone in a city centre and think it might be a religious zealot, only to be disappointed to find out it’s poetry.

On Saturday, I reviewed the papers on the radio show and then straight after headed to London to meet up with a couple of my uni friends, Amanda and Yin  (previously Mandy and Jackie). I was literally in London for 24 hrs. It wasn’t as exciting as a Jack Bauer 24 hr period but we did fit in a fair bit of drinking. You know it’s going to be messy when you have tequila before you go out and then decide to have more tequila when you get back and in between that, you have a cocktail with an egg in it plus some beers. We also went to a private members bar, Shoreditch House, which has a swimming pool in it.  How London i to is that??? I can’t imagine the pubs I go to in Manchester deciding to install a swimming pool.

Now onto to Sunday and cut to me feeling rough on the train back to Manchester but in time for the England/Germany  match. The England performance and the result did nothing to aid my recovery. The only positive I can think of about England going out, is that any women who had stupidly booked their wedding day on a day that clashed with the World Cup Semi-Final or Final can now rest easy. Guests are going to have to come up with another excuse to get out of your big day. Feel free to let us know if your wedding day clashed with a big football match.

Talking of such matters, a few weeks ago I mentioned I was working on a new project with the co-author of How to Dump your Boyfriend, Kym Cooper, looking at (funny) relationship stories. With Kym being younger than me and more knowledgable on such matters she has set up a Facebook page, at this stage we are just looking for people to join the group. So if you are on Facebook, feel free to get on board.

And Finally… Something weird seems to be happening to me in recent times when travelling on a train. The last few trains I’ve got I’ve booked the tickets online and when I come to find my seat it’s always been a priority seat. I don’t know if there is a rumour in the train industry that I’m a man in need of assistance. If Richard Branson or anyone else who works for a train company is reading this, I just want to say, I might  be getting on a bit but I’m still ok in the normal seats. Cheers

                                                 Til next week, stay safe! 

(original post 28/6/10)


ringo starr

Hola. Hope you are all well.

I’ve had another varied week. On Friday I was doing a charity collection at M’cr Piccadilly train station. Before people start thinking I’m a good person, I should disclose that I was collecting for Retrak, the charity ‘Her with one permanent job’ works for. So as well as raising money for street children in Africa, I was also collecting ‘boyfriend points’. But as we all know boyfriend points are more volatile than the stock exchange and can be as easily lost as earnt. So I need to cash  them in soon.

Also last week I met up with the writer of ‘How To Dump Your Girlfiend’, Kym Cooper, as we are talking over the idea of doing a joint project. Our thinking is we’ve had limited success promoting our respective books individually, so if we join forces, we can have limited success together. We’re looking at relationship issues, some inspired by surveys in the newspapers and others involving stories of when relationships go wrong, for example texting saucy pics to the wrong person. I will give you more details in the next few weeks including how you can contribute. cheers

I read in the week that Lembit Opik did his first ever Stand Up gig. What stood out for me was that he was paid £115 for 15mins.  I started doing stand up comedy in 2001 and recently did 20mins where I was paid last than half of what Lembit was paid. This has made me think of how I can increase my earning potential. These are my findings, firstly I need to become a political lightweight, then I need to get engaged to a cheeky girl and finally I need to get a slightly wonky face and then hey presto, I’ll be in the money.

In something unrelated, I was thinking that if a person got their entire view of the world from the tabloids and Britain’s Got Talent, they would think that every young person was either high on Meow Meow or in an urban dance group. Because it seemed every other act on BGT seemed to be an urban dance group. If you’re a young person and you’re not in an urban dance group you may aswell give up now. The act I didn’t get on BGT was the drumming boy who finished 3rd. From what I could see he was just drumming. No disrespect to drummers but drumming on its own is not entertainment. if it was Ringo Starr would have ditched John, Paul and George and replaced them with the Gorilla from the Cadbury’s ad, the drummer from the muppets and Phil Collins. I’m sure if he had done this then his history would have been a lot different.

And Finally… I’m going away for a few days, I’m heading to St. Ives (I need to get away from the executive stress), As I am coming back next Mon, it means I will be updating this blog next Tues. It also means I will not be reviewing the newspapers on the radio on Sat Morning (12th June)  so feel free to have a lie-in. Cheers

                                                  Til next time (tues), stay safe! 
(original post 7/6/10)