Do you use a small fork?

I rarely listen to much that Sir Alan Lord Sugar has to say but every time I use a teaspoon to eat some cereal I think of him. This is because a few years ago I remember him evangelising the benefits of using small cutlery. His reasoning being that by using a small fork or spoon you will trick your brain into thinking it’s eaten more than it has. With this in mind, I was wondering if you subscribe to the undersized cutlery theory, or is it just Lord Sugar (and occasionally me). Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic.
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Arron banks Nigel’s lifestyle.

Arron Banks gave Nigel Farage £450 000 to ‘fund his lavish lifestyle’.

a) Is this odd?
b) What does Arron get out of this arrangement?
c) How much would you give me to fund my less than lavish lifestyle?
d) Should I become friends with Arron?
e) Why does Arron spell his name with 2 Rs like no other Aaron?

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Fiscal planning.

My current financial strategy is based around the fact the football season has now ended. This means I won’t be watching any matches in the pub and spending £6.60 on my pint and a half per game (2 pints if I’m treating myself). The only problem with this strategy is the time I would have been in the pub will no doubt be swapped for family time which is likely to cost me more than £6.60.

@anunknowncomic

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Humming

A couple of weeks ago whilst listening to BBC 5Live I learnt that you can transform your life for the better by humming for 10 minutes when you first get up. I could by now be living in some kind of elevated existence but I’ve spurned this opportunity because the idea of humming each morning seems a bit weird. However that’s just me, is anyone an advocate of humming, or would you be prepared to do it and let me know how it enhances your life. Cheers. You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic

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Inserting the toilet roll.

For a few months our blind in the kitchen was somewhat annoying me. Almost every week the plastic thing on the chain, that connects the two parts would get stuck at the top, whilst the blind would only be a quarter up. This would only only allow an unsatisfactory amount of light in. So every week I would have to get a chair, kneel on the sink, usually wetting up my knee, take off the blind, roll it up, only for the problem to occur a few days later. I had noticed that the inside of the big cardboard tube that the blind was attached to was a bit frayed due to the pulley system inside it. So I decided to cut off a bit off toilet roll tube and insert it into the big tube. I don’t want to speak too soon but for the last couple of months it’s worked perfectly. This may well be one of my biggest successes of the last 10 years.

@anunknowncomic

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How long before bed do you brush your teeth?

I read an article about sleep that suggested brushing your teeth an hour before bed helps you get a better night’s sleep. Does anyone do that? Surely brushing your teeth is one of the last things you do before bed. The piece didn’t say why this is the case, my thinking is it gets your mind believing sleepy time is near. Although my friend on twitter reckons it’s because brushing your teeth wakes you up a bit, so perhaps I’m no nearer to knowing why. I doubt I’ll be doing it anyway because I know as soon as I brush my teeth I’ll want something to eat.

One thing I did find, is that reading articles on sleep made me feel tired, the only problem with that is I was at work whilst reading them, which is not ideal.

Feel free to let me know if you go early with the brushing of your teeth and does it aid your sleep. Contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Cheers.

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Tales from the bin area.

A bit over a month ago I found Keith Richard’s autobiography in the communal bin area (it wasn’t in the bin it was in a plastic bag of other books & DVDs on the ground). I took the book because I’d previously wanted to read it. Then a couple of weeks ago I found a working watch in the recycling bin. It was poking out from a box of letters. I had been thinking about treating myself to a new watch as mine had been playing up for a while. One of the good things about this watch is that it glows in the dark so when I can’t sleep at night I know exactly what time it is. Who knew that the most successful aspect of my life would centre around the communal bin area?

@anunknowncomic

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