Before Sunset, Before Sunrise

ian wright,kate walsh,melinda messenger

Hola. Hope you are all well.

I’ve got a busy week ahead, well busy for me. I’ve got a couple of writing workshops to do and then I’m off to Edinburgh on Thurs for four shows see here. If you’re in Edinburgh or know someone who is in on these days, come along or get them to come along. I’ll be travelling back next Mon, so I will update this blog next Tues. It will also mean I won’t be on the radio this Sat morning. Let’s hope the person they get to replace me isn’t someone who wants to take my place, unlike the last time I was away from the show.

A couple of months ago, I mentioned how I did a few poems at the Manchester Independent Book Market. Well Literature Northwest were there with a camera and have put 3 of my poems on YouTube. You can see my attempt at a Peace poem here and there are 2 more poems here. Cheers.

Last week I mentioned how a couple of Warrington Rugby League fans ruffled my hair. It got me thinking that this had a lot to do with being part of a group (and a little to do with alcohol) , because they wouldn’t have done this if they were on their own. Nobody would do that to a complete stranger if they were on their own. This made me think how many people does it take, in a group before you would feel confident enough to ruffle the hair of a stranger. So the next time you’re out in a big group and you feel confident enough to ruffle a complete stranger’s hair ,do it and then count how many people you are out with and then let me know. If you have an problems when doing this, tell the people involved you are conducting an experiment. I’m sure this will smooth things over.

Talking of last week’s post, just out of interest did anyone click on the pics of Tom Jones’ groin area???

Onto other matters, I’ve had to endure what can only be described as two chick flicks. The first one was ‘Before Sunrise’, where a man and a woman meet on a train, they end up chatting on the train, then they chat whilst walking through Vienna, they chat in a bar, they chat whilst they’re lying in the park. There’s a lot of chatting. We don’t even get to see them boff. Apparently this is romantic. And just when you thought it was safe to go near the DVD player, they made a sequel, ‘Before  Sunset’. This was totally different, when I say totally different, it involved all the chatting of its predecessor but this film was set in Paris. If there are any men reading this and their wives/girlf shows any interest in watching these films, fake an illness, distract her with sex or do whatever you have to do, to get out of watching them. If you’ve watched either of these films let me know your thoughts. I imagine they will differ on gender lines, but I could be wrong.

I was interested to see that Ian Wright has left ‘Live from Studio Five’, which means there is a slot for a black guy to talk nonsense about nonsense. Never has there been a job  description that says me, in the history of job descriptions.

And finally…. In my attempt to be more popular than an octopus I have predicted the League placings for the upcoming Premiership. So if you want to know where your team is going to finish or you’re just interested then click here (and scroll down to bottom).

                                                 Til next week (tues), stay safe!
(original post 16/8/10)

Are you the comedian guy?

ronan keating and his wife


Hola. I hope you are well. Apologies for posting on a Tues, it wasn’t because yesterday was a Bank Hol, it was due to a technical difficulty and me being an idiot. I typed the blog late last night, put on all the links, published it and then accidentally deleted it. The moral of this story is don’t try to do anything that requires concentration late at night whilst watching Graham Norton

I’m sure you’ve all been waiting in tenterhooks to find out how my gig at the Iguana bar went last Mon. For those that weren’t there, let me tell you it was a rip-roaring success, by the end of my set the punters lifted me onto their shoulders and carried me through the streets of Chorlton, lauding me as a comedy God. Those that were there will know it went ok. I went on first, which is always tricky as the audience isn’t warmed up (i.e. pisssed). I got laughs throughout my set, but there were also periods when it was just a man chatting on stage. Having said that, I really enjoyed it, which isn’t always the case when I do stand up. 

Also last week, I went to a free screening of new film, ‘Death at a Funeral’, starring Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence. I felt it had all the ingredients to be funnier than it was, there was slapstick, poo, a dwarf and as is obligatory with a film with a mainly black cast, an ‘idiot white boyfriend’. The best way to sum up this is to say if I’d paid £7:50 I’d have been disappointed, If I’d got in for half price courtesy of Orange Wednesdays, I’d have thought it was alright, but as I got in for free I enjoyed it. 

After the film, whilst waiting for the bus, a woman came up to me and said, “Are you the comedian guy”? I responded with a “Yes”, whilst desperately trying to rack my brain, to workout who she was. My brain was giving me nothing (not for the first time), which must have been obvious, as she then said, “You don’t recognise me do you”? I didn’t, so I had to admit to this. Then my friend Nadeem (the poet, not my other friend Nadeem) came along and said “Hi Dee”, making me look like a totally self-absorbed idiot, who can’t be bothered to remember people they have met. Cheers. Feel free to let me know if anything like this has happened to you. 

Regulars to this blog will know that a couple of weeks ago I emailed a train company complaining that the last train back to M’cr from Liverpool on a Sat night was too early (23:38) and they should put on a later train. I got an email back from the train company, Woohoo!!! Unfortunately it was bad news as apparently train companies don’t work their schedules around unknown comedians, they have boring rules and regulations they have to adhere to, Boohoo!!

I also found out I’ve made it onto YouTube. About a month ago I was asked by Literature Northwest, to take part in a scheme to promote Northwest writers. It basically involved me talking to a camera, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. Check it out here. (tis only 2mins 54) 

And Finally…I read in the Sunday Mirror, (so it must be true) that Ronan Keating has managed to grovel his way back into his wife’s affections, after his 7 month affair. It was also claimed he was writing love songs for his wife. My advice having heard Ronan’s music, is to say,

“Don’t do it, quit whilst you’re ahead”!!!


                                             Til next week (Mon), stay safe!
(original post 1/6/10)