The world is my Oyster

Hola. Hope you are well.

Not Friday gone but the previous Friday, my Oyster card stopped working. There was no build up to this, it hadn’t for example been malfunctioning, it just stopped working.

As I was at a train station, I sought the advice of a couple of officials. The man at the gate, tried my card by pressing it against the card reader, it didn’t work. I could have told him that, in fact I did tell him that. Then he looked at the card and said there was a little crack at the edge, he bent it a bit to prove the existence of the crack and then explained that this was why the card wasn’t working.

Both the official at the gate and the woman behind the counter said I needed to go to an underground station where they would be able to exchange the card and transfer the money I had on the broken card to the new one.

The nearest tube station was one stop away, but in the opposite direction to where I live. I go to buy a single ticket for this one stop and get told it would cost £2:20. That’s Two Pounds and Twenty Pence for one stop. I decided to use my contactless credit card as an Oyster card, which brought the price down to £1:90 (sticking it to the man).

At the underground station, I explained to a different woman behind the counter that my Oyster card had stopped working and that I’d been sent here to exchange the card and transfer what money was on the broken card. The woman behind the counter told me, “They don’t do that any more, I’d have to ring the Oyster people and they’d sort it out.”

I was now, still without a working Oyster card, further away from home and £1:90 down (advantage the man). Under these circumstances I thought the best thing to do was to buy a new Oyster at £5 and top it up by £10 so I could get home. On that journey home, I got to thinking this was the Northern Gods getting me back for mocking the Manchester summer in my previous blog post. You may think I’m paranoid but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have time to spare, have a listen to my comedy prongcasts (we’ve just done our 100th)