Hola. Hope you are well.
I start with some exciting news. I’ve been contacted by the President of the United States of America, Mr Barack Obama. When I say contacted, it wasn’t directly but he did comment on my football blog, (click here and scroll down to comments section). I have to be honest, I’m not 100% sure it was actually sent by Barack but by the time I keep telling and re-telling this story and hyperbole meets exaggeration, it won’t be long before people are asking, “Aren’t you good friends with Barack Obama?”
Talking of my mate Barack, it was a bad week for him and the Democrats in the mid-term elections. They lost control of the House of Representatives to the Republicans, it would appear Americans have very short memories. The US do seem to have an odd system, where you get elected for four years and then 2 years in, you have another mini election that changes how you can govern. It’s like leasing a house for 2 years with your other-half and then a year in the landlord moves another couple in, without your say so. That could be a little awkward, or a whole heap of fun depending on how open you all are.
I was reading the Metro newspaper on the bus the other day and saw an article about Carol Bone (See here). Carol is a 62-year-old woman who according to the report has slept with 200 men in the last 2 years, even though she has a bad back and suffers from arthritis. Apparently her favourite age group are those men in their 30s and 40s. I have a few things to say about this story. Firstly, her surname is Bone, can that merely be a coincidence? Secondly, I’m not surprised she has a sore back, I’d be more surprised if that’s the only part of her body that’s sore. And finally, I’m in my 30s, am I supposed to be having sex with this woman? I sincerely hope not (no disrespect Carol).
Now onto fellow Manchester comedian Jason Manford and according to reports he had been exchanging flirty tweets (private messages) with a fan Debra McNamee. Apparently he asked her to send nude pics of herself, so in the end she did, as you do. In the article I read, she said she was surprised a famous person had got in touch with her. That might be true but you don’t have to send them nude pics, just cos they ask. I can’t imagine how famous a person would have to be, for me to send them a pic of my c*ck. Maybe Paul McCartney, he is a Beatle afterall. Feel free to let me know which famous person you’d be prepared to send a nude pic to.
And Finally… I mentioned last week that I am cutting down on how many cups of tea I have. Well last week I only had 2 cups of tea, which I think is quite impressive. Despite this my teeth don’t seem any whiter. Anyway that’s enough of my exciting life. I’m off now to see if Paul McCartney’s on Twitter.
Til next week, stay safe!