Prison and Stripping

peter stringfellow and lady friend

Hola. Hope you are well.

Last week, I spent most of my time in prison or stripping. When I say stripping I do mean wall paper, don’t worry I’ve not started working for Peter Stringfellow.

Aswell as the wall paper stripping I was also hack-sawing a 10m gas flue tube, that the chimney sweep (mentioned in last week’s post) pulled from up the chimney. All this domestic chores coming in the same week Russell Brand got married to pop singer Katy Perry, in India, watched by his showbiz friends, whilst being entertained by P.Diddy does make me question whether I am in the same profession as Russell.

On Thursday I was in a prison all day. I got in at 8:45am and left at 7:45pm and because you are not allowed to take mobile phones into prisons (along with ammunition, explosives, firearms et al) I turned my phone off. When I turned it back on, guess how many txts, missed calls or voice mails I had waiting for me? I’ll tell you, a big fat zero! Not that I mind, as it’s only ever people wanting something from me. The worst thing I can see when I switch my phone on is the voice-mail symbol. Firstly it means I’ll have to pay to retrieve it and secondly someone has not only tried to contact me but what they have to say is important enough to leave a message.

In other news, I’ve been trying to cut down on drinking cups of tea. This is purely on vanity grounds as I’m trying to avoid when possible things that stain my teeth. It’s actually quite hard not drinking tea, it is after all a staple of the British diet. Fortunately for me, I’ve never had to come off cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, but if it’s anything like coming off tea it must be hard. Because once you cut down all you can think about is drinking tea and then you’ve got the pushers offering you ‘cuppas’ all the time.

Some sad news now, as the world of sport and sea creatures, mourns the passing of Paul the Octopus. If you are unsure as to who Paul the Octopus is, he was one of the big successes of the World Cup.  He correctly predicted the results of the Germany games but last week he was no more. I do feel a bit sorry for Paul, as he was just a simple creature going along his daily life happily before being thrust into the public arena. In many ways he’s the Alex Reid of the sea world. RIP Paul.

And Finally…. After the radio show on Sat, the guest Shaista took me out (not in a Mafia way). I must add she is the first guest to do this. She like me is a comedian although she only started doing stand up comedy 4 months ago. Yet she has already played in front of a crowd of 20 000 and was invited to perform in Hong Kong. I on the other hand have been involved in comedy for a little more than 4 months and have not performed in front of a 20 000 crowd. To be honest if you added up all the people I’ve ever performed in front of, I doubt it would tally 20000. As for Hong Kong they’ve yet to call. So if it wasn’t bad enough being overshadowed early on a Sat morning by a newcomer to comedy, I also had a cup of tea at the cafe.

Til Next Week, Stay Safe!