Pop Poetry

My management team have told me I should start writing poetry again. They’ve assured me there’s money in it and my brand of pop poetry (easily accessible) will go down well. So I went off to a writing retreat (my bedroom) to come up with the future of poetry. The only problem was that for some reason that I’ve yet to workout why the  subjects I was coming up with were, losing in life, being skint and getting old.

I’m not sure how my management team will view them.

@anunknowncomic

Have a listen to my comedy prongcasts. Cheers

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Rioting workshops

When I used to do poetry workshops in prisons before and after 2010 there were definitely less riots and general violence in prisons.

Some people might say this is because the government have cut the number of prison officers. Others may point to the fact experienced officers have been replaced with young and inexperienced officers, who are unable to deal as effectively with such circumstances. Some may say that the above reasons has meant that prisoners are being locked up for upto 23 hours a day leading to justified resentment. Others may say we send too many people to prison in the first place.

I on the other hand am saying the increase in prison violence is down to my lack of poetry workshops. So confident of my abilities that during the next prison riots I want the governor to ring me and I will guarantee to calm the situation within 2 hours with a mix of word association games and a few clever rhymes. I await the call.

@anunknowncomic

Listen to my comedy prongcast. Cheers.

The Nowhere Men

I’ve recently finished reading ‘The Nowhere Men’ by Michael Calvin. It’s an insightful look at the role of football scouts. It has made me wonder if other sectors have a worldwide network seeking out talent. For example, are there stats people as we speak trawling through blogs and podcasts, configurating the consistency of content?

Last week at work I was invigilating. This gave me a lot of time to sit and think. One result of this sitting and thinking was that I wrote a poem called, ‘The Nowhere Men’. (see below)

@anunknowncomic

If you have time check out my comedy prongcast. Thanks

The Nowhere Men.

The nowhere men,
have nowhere to go.
So they plough the fields,
again and again.

The nowhere men,
have little to show
for all their toil.
Still hoping diamonds will grow,
in the long since plundered soil.

Atomised,
ostricised,
maligned,
sidelined.
Replaced by apps,
that read stats
as facts.

The nowhere men are considered a dying breed.
The nowhere men continue to dream.

 

Exposure

Two people I know from the Manchester comedy and poetry scene, Daliso Chaponda and Tony Walsh (Longfella Poet) have in recent weeks received TV exposure, making them known to people nationally and internationally.

Daliso was on Britain’s Got Talent, finishing third overall. Whilst Tony’s reading of his poem ‘Choose Love’ at the vigil for the Manchester bomb victims was broadcast live and has subsequently been transmitted across the world.

Both performers are talented having spent years working in pubs and clubs honing their skills but without the magnifying force of TV, when would they get the opportunity to showcase their work to such a sizeable audience?

Does this mean that despite the popularity and potential reach of social media, the only way poets/comedians can ‘make it’, is still via TV?

@anunknowncomic

Check out my comedy prongcast. Thank you

 

I’m not Paul Nuttall

Unlike Paul Nuttall I know what is written on my website. Mainly because I wrote it.

Recently, I re-did my ‘About Me’ page. I’ve tried to reflect the creative projects I’m involved in, plus my work with young people in education.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

Should you have time, take a listen to my comedy prongcasts. Cheers

@anunknowncomic

#Prongcast

Hola. Hope you are well.

I wrote a poem about the podcast I do, 3Prong Attack, #prongcast. I know this sounds a little self indulgent but it’s ok because the poem is about failing, a defiant failing but failure all the same. All you really need to know is I’m Prong1 a comedian who’s only income comes from working in a school and my colleague Prong2 who is a jobbing actor who doesn’t seem to get many acting jobs. In addition to this our slogan is ‘It’s Better than you think’.

We’ve Got Our Heads in the SoundCloud

History is written from the winner’s point of view,
We’re what happens when that’s not true.
I’m Prong1 and he’s Prong2
And unless we’re mistaken,
some say wrong,
You the listener, are the third Prong.

We’ve been in this game for 20 years,
Been surpassed by all our peers.
We should have quit and got careers,
It would have saved a lot of tears.

We’re the masters,
of our disasters.
Losers in the game we invented.
Architects of our own downfall,
Took our eye off the ball,
Until there was no ball,
at all.

Too many times,
We’ve backed the wrong horse,
on the wrong course.
Over time, expectations have been lowered,
But still not met,
Yet we plough more money into this losing bet.

20 years in this business called show,
Which is ironic as we’ve got nothing, to show.
We started off badly and got progressively worse,
If we deteriorate further, you’ll be calling a hearse.

We’re at an age where we’re supposed to know better,
Should have reached the end of our tether.
We’re analogue thinking in a digital age,
Rock star pretentions on less than minimum wage.
And now we stand here, on the precipice,
of nothingness.

By now, you may think we’re a couple of chancers,
Posing more questions than answers.
But we’ve done our 10 000 hours,
Will continue to do whatever’s in our powers.

And if we are going down,
We’re going down fighting.
And if you can’t hear our words,
Then we’ll put it in writing.

Our demise will be on our terms,
We’re prepared to throw everything at this,
including the kitchen sink,
Because 3Prong Attack is,
‘Better than you think’

Written by Prong1

@anunknowncomic

Less is Demure

me. pic by Jay McCorkle

me. pic by Jay McCorkle

Hola. Hope you are well.

Today’s blog is what could be described as a poetry special.

Firstly, I’d like to direct you to a poem of mine, that I read out on the radio show I do. The poem is about the radio show I do, with references only the handful of listeners we get will understand. Should this not put you off, the poem is about 5 mins into the prongcast.

Secondly, I found a poem a couple of weeks ago (in the vault) that I was commissioned to write, on the theme of fashion for Cartwheel Arts, back in 2008/09. (back when there was a little bit of money to pay artists and performers)

As it happened this poem wasn’t used, overlooked for another poem I wrote, despite the photo shoot being designed around this poem (see pic at top of the page). So after a few minor tweaks and a few years on, I thought I’d give it an airing.

All you need to know is, Middleton is a town in Greater Manchester, Hulme is a place in South Manchester and Milan is a place in… you probably know where Milan is.

Less is Demure.

Everyday we decide whether to conform,
Stay ahead of the norm
Or just to stay warm.
From the pristine white at Lords,
To the black worn by Goths,
Even Adam and Eve wore loincloths.

Everyday we decide to dress to impress
Or belie the true feelings we possess.
Yet our search for individuality has got lost,
down the aisles of high street stores.
Where brand whores, put price above child labour laws.

We have editors desperately seeking the next big trend,
But irony dictates, that as soon as anything becomes popular
it is the beginning of the end.

Catwalk models strut their stuff on the runways of Milan,
Wearing outfits only they can.
And I’m not one to assume,
but I don’t think you’ll see these clothes in Middleton or Hulme.

The kids I see, wear sagging jeans in good need of a belt.
Whilst shops sell ‘iccle’ baby grows designed to make the heart melt.
Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts seek warmer climes,
And even Paris Hilton wears knickers sometimes.

Fashion likes to look back on its lot.
From Marilyn Monroe in ‘Some like it Hot’,
To shoulder pads and leggings from a time style forgot.
Yet don’t ask me why,
But there’s nothing wacky about a wacky tie.
I said, there’s nothing wacky about a wacky tie.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

@anunknowncomic