Stressed pets.

On our latest #prongcast, Prong2 told me that rats get stressed. I’ve never been a pet person (why would you invite an animal into your house?) so I didn’t know if he was having me on. Do you/did you have a pet that suffered from stress and how did this stress manifest itself? Let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic 
Cheers

 

Anything the Beeb can do…

Great news. 3Prong Attack the #prongcast I co-present have won the rights to the leadership debate – the Lib Dem leadership debate. We haven’t worked out the format yet but we’ve only got one mic & we need to be near a plug socket due to the short battery life of Prong2’s laptop. Still it can’t be any worse than the BBC’s effort.

@anunknowncomic

Things are looking up.

The podcast I do, 3Prong Attack got a mention on the Radio 2 blues show presented by Cerys Matthews, it’s the most exciting thing that’s happened to us since Ant & Dec followed us on Twitter for a day. We never did get to the bottom of why they only followed for a day. From what we’ve subsequently learnt, I reckon it was Ant that followed us and it was Dec and their advisers who overruled him.

@anunknowncomic

Wasting time saving time.

I’m always trying to find ways of best utilising my time mainly because I don’t have much of it. That’s why this Monday I tried to record a prongcast (a podcast I do with my mate Prong2) during my boy’s nap time.

There was always a risk this wouldn’t work as his nap times do vary but I thought it was a risk worth taking.

Naturally things did not go to plan as the boy didn’t take his nap til about 10 mins after Prong2 had gone home. I doubt I’ll be doing anything like this any time soon although knowing me I wouldn’t fully rule it out.

@anunknowncomic

The Curse of 3Prong Attack??

In our latest #prongcast Prong2 mentioned Robert Mugabe, he’s now under house arrest (Mugabe not Prong2). It’s the curse of 3Prong Attack. The first winner of our Prongs of Praise Nigel Pearson, is currently managing in the Belgium 2nd division. It might be worth our while to get people to pay us not to mention them on our podcasts.

@anunknowncomic

The secret to free time.

I think the secret to how to spend your free time is to not do too much.

For example, last Tuesday I had a rare free day (I was off work and the boy was at nursery). I used this opportunity to align our patio door, clean an oven tray and record a #prongcast.

It’s not for me to say if I could have been any more productive but it was certainly a relaxing day (that might have had something to do with the pint and a half I also had).

@anunknowncomic

 

 

Blinded by The Sun

The #prongcast that I do, 3Prong Attack is running its latest campaign. We are hoping to overtake The Sun newspaper.

We believe, we can better serve their readership by promoting causes that will elevate them, rather than being a mouth piece for those at the top of society.

We’ve been encouraged by the fact that The Sun’s circulation recently fell below 2m for the first time in 43 years.

If you’d like to support our campaign all you have to do is press play on our prongcasts. Our shows can be found on SoundCloud and iTunes.

Thank you.

@anunknowncomic          @3prongattack

#Prongcast

Hola. Hope you are well.

I wrote a poem about the podcast I do, 3Prong Attack, #prongcast. I know this sounds a little self indulgent but it’s ok because the poem is about failing, a defiant failing but failure all the same. All you really need to know is I’m Prong1 a comedian who’s only income comes from working in a school and my colleague Prong2 who is a jobbing actor who doesn’t seem to get many acting jobs. In addition to this our slogan is ‘It’s Better than you think’.

We’ve Got Our Heads in the SoundCloud

History is written from the winner’s point of view,
We’re what happens when that’s not true.
I’m Prong1 and he’s Prong2
And unless we’re mistaken,
some say wrong,
You the listener, are the third Prong.

We’ve been in this game for 20 years,
Been surpassed by all our peers.
We should have quit and got careers,
It would have saved a lot of tears.

We’re the masters,
of our disasters.
Losers in the game we invented.
Architects of our own downfall,
Took our eye off the ball,
Until there was no ball,
at all.

Too many times,
We’ve backed the wrong horse,
on the wrong course.
Over time, expectations have been lowered,
But still not met,
Yet we plough more money into this losing bet.

20 years in this business called show,
Which is ironic as we’ve got nothing, to show.
We started off badly and got progressively worse,
If we deteriorate further, you’ll be calling a hearse.

We’re at an age where we’re supposed to know better,
Should have reached the end of our tether.
We’re analogue thinking in a digital age,
Rock star pretentions on less than minimum wage.
And now we stand here, on the precipice,
of nothingness.

By now, you may think we’re a couple of chancers,
Posing more questions than answers.
But we’ve done our 10 000 hours,
Will continue to do whatever’s in our powers.

And if we are going down,
We’re going down fighting.
And if you can’t hear our words,
Then we’ll put it in writing.

Our demise will be on our terms,
We’re prepared to throw everything at this,
including the kitchen sink,
Because 3Prong Attack is,
‘Better than you think’

Written by Prong1

@anunknowncomic