I’m loving you…

The CEO of McDonald’s, Steve Easterbrook has had to step down after having a consensual relationship with an employee as it goes against company policy. Do you have anything like this at your place of work? I know at my work you have to tell them when you hook up with a colleague, which would put me off. Plus at what stage do you tell them, after a kiss or when you have your first child together? Feel free to let me know via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Cheers

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Domestic Man.

The other week, the other-half had a meeting.
I ended up ironing her outfit for said meeting.
I can’t help thinking, is this what I have become, Domestic Man?
In the absence of a recognisable career is this my future?

I’m hoping 2018 will be more productive.

Ps. Domestic Man has no known super powers.

@anunknowncomic

Have a listen to my comedy prongcast. Cheers

Where do you mix your porridge?

When making porridge I like to mix the milk and oats in the bowl as I can control the consistency. My other half persists in mixing it in the pan of milk.

With this in mind, where do you mix your porridge?

You can share your views via the comments button or @anunknowncomic

Til next time, be nice to each other.

If you have time, listen to my comedy prongcasts. (Just Press Play) Thanks

Is the traditional affair over?

Hola. Hope you are well.

What has happened to the traditional affair? One that happens organically, maybe with a colleague at work, or a chance encounter with a stranger in a bar.

Not one conducted via a website like Ashley Madison; where as long as you have an email address and a credit card you can order an affair. Plus, the old way, meant that if your partner did find out you could always say, you didn’t mean it to happen. This may be harder to believe when you’ve signed up to a site that specialises in affairs.

Having said that, these days people date online, so why shouldn’t they conduct their affairs this way? In these more technological times it’s conceivable that the whole arc of your relationship could be played out online. You could for example, meet your partner online, meet your affairee (not sure that’s a word) online, sort your divorce online, sell the marital home online, arrange access to the kids online etc… etc…

The author of this blog is the co-author of How To Dump Your Girlfriend

Ps. Marriage is a serious business and shouldn’t be undertaken lightly.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have any spare time, check out my comedy Prongcasts

 

My Selfless Act

Hola. Hope you are well.

I got the other half an electric toothbrush for Christmas. I knew she wanted one, so got her one.

However, I accidentally let it slip that I bought the toothbrush with my Boots Advantage Points. She wasn’t overly impressed by this revelation and even canvassed opinion. Her mum said it was ‘grounds for divorce’. My first thought was, ‘we’re not even married’, my second was, ‘that’d make a good title for a song’.

In my defence, I’d built those points over the years and was going to buy myself an electric toothbrush but I didn’t want to get one for myself and leave my other half with electric toothbrush envy.

So with this in mind, is it wrong to buy presents with Boots Advantage Points? (loyalty points, vouchers et al..)

Feel free to let me know your thoughts via the comments button or on twitter @anunknowncomic

Ps. I’m now having to rebuild my Advantage points and I don’t shop at Boots much, so it’s going to take me a long time before I get my electric toothbrush, but I’m not looking  for sympathy for my selfless act.

Til next time, be nice to each other.

The author of this blog is also the co-author of ‘How To Dump Your Girlfriend’

Should you have time, listen to my Prongcasts

Would you want your partner and ex to be mates?

Hola. Hope you are well.

In Coronation Street, Sally‘s ex Kevin and her current fella Tim have been getting on really well, partly due to some sofa action (that’s one for the viewers of Corrie). Over Christmas they compared their friendship with that  of brothers.

In a civil world you’d probably want to your partner and your ex to get along with each other, especially if you have children with your ex, but would you want them to be best mates? Do you want 2 people who know you intimately to be talking about you and comparing notes?

I’m not comfortable when friends from different groups meet, nevermind 2 people who’ve seen me without clothes pallying up.

Feel free to let me know if you’ve been in the situation Sally finds herself in and how did you deal with it? Did you try to put an end to their friendship and what issues did it bring up?

Til next time, stay safe.

The writer of this blog is, the co-author of ‘How to Dump your Girlfriend’

@anunknowncomic

 

Opening a can of beans

Hola. Hope you are well.

I was interested to see that Chris Martin (Coldplay) is back eating meat after splitting from his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow a strict vegetarian. The implication being that his decision to not eat meat during his marriage was a decision influenced by his wife. With this in mind, what would be the first thing you’d give up/take up, if you were to split with your current partner? Let me know via the comments button, or on twitter @anunknowncomic

In other showbiz wedding news, Cheryl Cole recently got married to Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini. Apparently her husband spent £300 000 on the engagement and wedding ring. I’m sure no one reading this has that kind of money to spend on a wedding ring but I am interested to know how much you’ve spent on a wedding ring. Maybe you’ve been married a few times and so collectively you’ve spent a fair whack on wedding rings . Alternatively, I’d like to hear from people who’ve spent very little on a wedding, the cheaper the better and how was it received?

And finally…. in matters closer to home, my other half, unbeknown to me decided to take our only tin opener to work, meaning I had to improvise when for lunch I needed to open a tin of beans. For those interested, I used a hammer and a knife and made holes all round the can until I was able to remove the lid. Let me know when you’ve used an item for something other than what it was designed for.

Til next time, stay safe!

An unknown comedian is the co-author of, ‘How to Dump Your Girlfriend’