More Peppa Pig, less women’s football

Hola. Hope you are well.

If you are sick of the Olympics and thought you’d click on this page for some respite, then apologies as I will be referring to it throughout this blog.

Firstly, I have to say I have made my debut at the Olympics, as yesterday, ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ and I went to Wembley to watch the semi-final of the Women’s football, Japan vs France. It turned out to be a good game, 3 goals and a missed penalty. The crowd was very family friendly and I learnt, from the couple in front of me, that the best way to miss large chunks of the game is to take a small child and have to keep nipping off, to appease the child, as 90 mins of football isn’t stimulating enough. More Peppa Pig, less women’s  football I’m guessing.

The good thing about getting Olympic tickets is that you get a free travel pass with your tickets. The pass allows you to travel free from zones 1-9. Zone 9? I didn’t even know there was a zone 9, where is it… Birmingham? (That’s a London travel zone joke, I may have been in London too long)

One of the good things about being dual heritage is that on Saturday when Jess Ennis, Mo Farah and the long jump fella won gold, I was British, a day later when Usain Bolt won the 100m, I was Jamaican, thanks to my mum and just to let you know if Trinidad do anything I will be claiming that as well, courtesy of my dad.

Other things I’ve liked about the Olympics, included the badminton players who deliberately decided to lose in order to get an easier match in the next round, It slightly backfired when they got chucked out of the comp. No match was probably easier than they were hoping for.

I also liked the hypocrisy of the American Swimming coach,  John Leonard,who basically said Ye Shiwen the 16 year old Chinese swimmer who won gold must have been on drugs but failed to say anything when his own 15 year old swimmer Katie Ledecky,  went on to win gold. I suppose that was down to hard work and good ol’ American spirit. Innocent til proven otherwise mustn’t have reached John Leonard.

I also like the fact the venue that is known the whole year round as the O2 Arena, is suddenly being called the North Greenwich Arena. I can only assume O2 are not an official sponsor. It’s what the Olympics are all about.

And Finally… away from the Olympics. A few weeks ago on this blog, I mentioned how we brought back a paella dish from Valencia last summer and have yet to use it. Well this week, almost as if to make a point, ‘HWOPJ’ made paella. The only prob was that she somehow forgot to use the paella dish, so we are still to use it. it’s all fun, fun, fun at our flat.

Til next week, stay safe! (Due to me being away doing a new job, next week’s post will be on Weds)

Is the Queen in Equity?

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’m back from my hols, Bruges and Paris, all went well and we didn’t bring back any kitchen utensils (see last week’s blog post).

In Paris we went to the places you’re supposed to, the Champs Elysees, the Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre and a cemetery, where randomly Jim Morrison, Oscar Wilde, Marcel Marceau and Edith Piaf are laid to rest. Although when I mentioned in passing, going to the tunnel where Princess Diana had the car crash, ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ said that would be ‘sick’. Too soon perhaps.

With the Olympics being in London and me now living in London, it was no surprise that I was in Paris, when the opening ceremony was taking place. Opening ceremonies are generally bonkers but even more so with French commentary (if you’re not a French Speaker). If that wasn’t odd enough mid way through, the Queen turns up in a skit with James Bond. If I were the Queen, I would have had to remind the organisers that I am the Head of State. After all she’s not some shmuck, trying to resurrect her fading career, she’s the Queen. At the very least, I hope she got paid Equity rates for her acting role.

The 4 hour ceremony was wrapped up with Sir Paul McCartney singing, ‘Hey Jude’. After what happened recently it would have been funny if someone had cut his mic.

Now I’m back in England, the big Olympic story is about the number of empty seats at some of the events. When I do comedy, here in London, they are generally held in the upstairs of pubs and although the capacity my not be massive, it does mean that the venue packs out easily and creates a good atmosphere. So if Lord Coe is reading this, my suggestion is to move some of the events to the upstairs of pubs. Or he could re-issue the tickets and allow the people to enter a complicated ballot system, where they’re sure to not get tickets for the event they wanted to see.

And Finally... the Olympics wouldn’t be the Olympics without the thoughts of the 3 Prong Attack radio show. Below are a few short vids.

Here’s our Olympic Competition (1 min 46)

This is our insight into the games  (1 min 12)

These are our Olympic predictions (1 min 11)

Enjoy!!

Til next week, stay safe!