Kitchen Issues

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’ve been away for the last few days on my Summer job, away from London and away from all the news. In fact the first bit of news I saw was at the train station where the headline on the front cover of a tabloid, was all about Russell Brand dating Geri Halliwell. It made me wonder if the world had gone mad in my absence.

Also whilst away on my residential, I ended up eating rice krispies with a knife. I wasn’t doing this for some wacky experiment, it was just that our kitchen didn’t have any spoons. My initial plan was to drink it out of the bowl but that didn’t prove that successful but surprisingly the knife was a good substitute for a spoon. I’d recommend it should you ever find yourself in such a situation. Feel free to let me know of any kitchen utensil nightmares you’ve had and how you had to adapt? (Contact me via the comments button).

As part of their activities, the children I was in charge of visited an elderly care home as part of an inter-generational photography project. Whilst there I couldn’t help thinking there should be places like these for people who are in the late 20’s/30’s. A place of say 20 rooms and different communal areas. I imagine it would be good fun and it would be a place where people could socialise, which these days is a problem what with every one leading such busy lives. And as the people aren’t too young, there wouldn’t non stop parties. When I mentioned it to ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ she said “What would happen if people got pregnant?” Quite clearly they’d be out on their ear, this would be a baby free zone. ‘HWOPJ’ thought there may be legal issues. Next step for me is Dragon’s Den. I’m thinking about how much equity to give away.

Before going away I watched the film ‘Chariots of Fire’. For some reason I always thought this film was about Rodger Bannister and him breaking the 4 min mile. I know it has nothing to do with Roger Bannister, Roger Bannister isn’t even mentioned. I’m not sure how I got this so wrong. In addition to this, I recently found out Prince wrote the song Manic Monday for the Bangles, how had I not known this before now. Also this year I realised that my sister who’ve I’ve known all her life and Nelson Mandela who’ve I’ve been aware of for many years, share a birthday. Why has it taken me so long to be aware of this? I’m now starting to question if I know anything.

And Finally… On last week’s blog post, I mentioned how I tried to fix my fridge by replacing the fuse in the plug and how it seemed to work, which filled me with a sense of pride until it stopped working less than an hour later. On Friday, our new fridge was installed, where I learnt the plug that I thought was for the fridge, was not for the fridge but was actually the plug for the ignition to the cooker. I didn’t know this when the fridge arrived on the Thurs, so I unplugged the plug which I thought was the old fridge and plugged in the new fridge, only to be confused why the cooker wouldn’t light. I was cursing my luck, searched the internet for possible solutions, not realising the problem was me being an idiot.

Order has now been restored, although the new fridge despite being the same size as the old one doesn’t have a freezer compartment. So we are currently without a freezer, does anyone else not have a freezer? Are we the only people in England without a freezer?

Til next week, stay safe!

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I predict a Pussy Riot

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’ve got 5 days off from the intensive summer job I’ve somehow found myself in. I’m not sure how much can be read into this, but the  book I’m currently reading is, ‘How To Get A Job You’ll Love’. It’s an interesting book but I don’t feel it’s the kind of book you can read at lunchtime surrounded by your work colleagues. It might send out the wrong message, (or the right one).

In other news, our fridge is on the blink. It seems to come on and off whenever it likes, which is not ideal for any long-term food planning. Having tried turning the switch on and off and fiddling with the thermostat, I thought it might be the fuse in the plug. I don’t think the problem is ever the fuse but when people are out of other suggestions, the fuse gets mentioned. It’s basically the act of a desperate man. So on Thurs night, I went in search for a fuse, which is not as easy as you may think. It doesn’t appear fuses are as popular as they used to be, maybe there’ll be a resurgence. Anyway, on my return I fitted the fuse in the plug, plugged it back in and to my surprise, it started working. I felt quite a sense of achievement, pleased that I’d managed to identify the problem, source the fuse and ultimately save the day. That feeling didn’t last too long as within the hour, the fridge had stopped working again. Meaning what I probably already knew, it was something more serious than the fuse. I could have saved myself a fair bit of effort and time if I’d gone with my initial instincts.

If I didn’t feel worthless enough, what with my handyman skills falling short, on Saturday morning, whilst watching a feature on backwards running, on BBC breakfast, I discovered that Garret Doherty ran a half marathon backwards in a time of 1hr 40. I have run one half marathon in my life, last year, where I did a fair bit of training for it and also finished with a time of 1h 40. The difference is I was doing it running forward. Before I knew about Garret’s achievements I felt good about my time, now I’m not so sure. Cheers Garret and cheers BBC Breakfast.

And Finally… Arguably the biggest talking point of the last few days has been the jailing of three members of Pussy Riot, for two years, for performing a protest song against Vladimir Putin in a church. Big names such as, Sir Paul McCartney, Madonna,  have got behind the campaign to free the women, as has Kate Nash. News coverage of this story has been global and it got me thinking why? There are other people around the world who are wrongly serving prison sentences, due to their political views yet they get little or no press attention. The only explanation I have, is that people like to say, ‘Pussy Riot’. It’s the only time we, young or old, can  legitimately get away with using this phrase and so we’re not going to waste the opportunity.

Til next week, stay safe! (Due to work commitments next week’s blog will be on Weds)

@anunknowncomic

How do you break your leg running?

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’m not too bad although I have come back from a pretty intense 5 days, doing my new job, the first bit involved me being responsible for young people during their residential. I wouldn’t say it was hard work, “It’s not like going down pit” but the hours were long. I had to wake the children up at 7am, make sure they’d eaten some breakfast and that they’d packed lunch and after a day of activities I had to supervise the cooking of the evening meal and then make sure they were in their own rooms by 10:45 and then stay up til midnight ensuring there were no incidents or people trying to leave their rooms. My role was essentially a mix between a Teaching Assistant and a parent, without the 16 yrs of them knowing you as their parent. My role continues in a slightly different capacity in the next few days and then I repeat the process with a different group in a couple of weeks. By the time I’m back at school in Sept, I might be the only person in education who will see it as a breeze. I say that, I give myself 2 days before I feel knackered.

Starting this job last Fri, meant that I missed the last couple of days of the Olympic games. It also meant I started the Olympics in Paris and ended it in Brighton, with women’s football in between. It’s lead to a slightly skewed view of the Olympics. I did get to see some of the closing ceremony, which did seem a little random. It was nice however of Liam Gallagher’s band Beady Eye to play their new single, ‘Wonderwall’ I believe it was called.

One of the more remarkable stories of the Olympics involved USA 4x400m relay runner Manteo Mitchell, who broke his leg 200m into his race and with another 200m to run continued because he didn’t want to let his team-mates down. What was more remarkable is that he did it in 46.10secs, which is better than what I can do with two functioning legs. It does beg the question, how do you break your leg running? I do think the Olympic committee should take advantage of this and start introducing races for people with broken legs. I’d definitely watch.

Away from the Olympics and I noticed that Ant and Dec were getting a bit of stick from people on Twitter (where else) because the new series of Red or Black is to be sponsored by Wonga.com. The criticism being, Wonga.com with their astronomical interest repayments causes misery to many families. It did make me wonder how much money would have to be on offer before you allowed Wonga.com to sponsor what you do? And secondly, Red or Black is getting a second series!! It’s a show that is essentially a glorified Heads or Tails. I’m not having a go at ITV because it has its place but they have Red or Black and BBC 2 have University Challenge, spot the difference.

And Finally… In honour of Kevin Pietersen, who was dropped from the England cricket team for allegedly slagging off his team-mates, when has slagging off your colleagues backfired on you?

Til next time, stay safe!

More Peppa Pig, less women’s football

Hola. Hope you are well.

If you are sick of the Olympics and thought you’d click on this page for some respite, then apologies as I will be referring to it throughout this blog.

Firstly, I have to say I have made my debut at the Olympics, as yesterday, ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ and I went to Wembley to watch the semi-final of the Women’s football, Japan vs France. It turned out to be a good game, 3 goals and a missed penalty. The crowd was very family friendly and I learnt, from the couple in front of me, that the best way to miss large chunks of the game is to take a small child and have to keep nipping off, to appease the child, as 90 mins of football isn’t stimulating enough. More Peppa Pig, less women’s  football I’m guessing.

The good thing about getting Olympic tickets is that you get a free travel pass with your tickets. The pass allows you to travel free from zones 1-9. Zone 9? I didn’t even know there was a zone 9, where is it… Birmingham? (That’s a London travel zone joke, I may have been in London too long)

One of the good things about being dual heritage is that on Saturday when Jess Ennis, Mo Farah and the long jump fella won gold, I was British, a day later when Usain Bolt won the 100m, I was Jamaican, thanks to my mum and just to let you know if Trinidad do anything I will be claiming that as well, courtesy of my dad.

Other things I’ve liked about the Olympics, included the badminton players who deliberately decided to lose in order to get an easier match in the next round, It slightly backfired when they got chucked out of the comp. No match was probably easier than they were hoping for.

I also liked the hypocrisy of the American Swimming coach,  John Leonard,who basically said Ye Shiwen the 16 year old Chinese swimmer who won gold must have been on drugs but failed to say anything when his own 15 year old swimmer Katie Ledecky,  went on to win gold. I suppose that was down to hard work and good ol’ American spirit. Innocent til proven otherwise mustn’t have reached John Leonard.

I also like the fact the venue that is known the whole year round as the O2 Arena, is suddenly being called the North Greenwich Arena. I can only assume O2 are not an official sponsor. It’s what the Olympics are all about.

And Finally… away from the Olympics. A few weeks ago on this blog, I mentioned how we brought back a paella dish from Valencia last summer and have yet to use it. Well this week, almost as if to make a point, ‘HWOPJ’ made paella. The only prob was that she somehow forgot to use the paella dish, so we are still to use it. it’s all fun, fun, fun at our flat.

Til next week, stay safe! (Due to me being away doing a new job, next week’s post will be on Weds)