Month: April 2017

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Waisting away

I’m losing weight and I didn’t have that much weight in the first place. I didn’t think my weight loss was noticeable but recently a colleague said, “You look like you’ve lost weight.” Then my mum said, “Have you lost weight?” Whilst my other half said she was looking through a photograph which included me from 5 years ago and wondered who, “that guy with the fat face was.”

In practical terms, I knew I was losing weight because in the last 6 months I’ve had to add new holes to my belts on more than one occasion.

This weight loss is in no way a conscious decision, it’s not as if I do any real exercise, unless you count running for the train every morning.

My loss of weight does however seem to have coincided with me drinking a lot less beer and although I’m technically not a qualified doctor, I may prescribe myself a few sessions in the pub. Purely for medicinal purposes.

@anunknowncomic

If you have time check out my comedy prongcasts. Cheers

 

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Coalition of Chaos

My new album ‘Coalition of Chaos’ will be out June 9th.

It includes tracks like:

  • Hinkley’s on Hold
  • Screwing the self-employed
  • Brexit means Brexit
  • No running commentary
  • Just About Managing
  • Don’t mention my leather trousers
  • No time for independence
  • I used to be a Remainer

@anunknowncomic

Should you have time check out my comedy prongcasts. Thanks.

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Dog eat dog

When I’m not being an unknown comedian, I am an unknown teaching assistant in a school. Recently, the department I work in, SEND (Special Educational Needs & Disability) was externally audited to see if we are value for money.

It’s probably not surprising schools are looking at ways they can make themselves more ‘efficient’ when the government is imposing severe cuts on state schools. (£3bn by 2019-20)

It’s in this climate that I read an article about how more and more schools have started employing a dog as a Learning Support. In addition to this, Cambridge University now use a cat to help their students deal with stress.

When other species can do your job, it really makes you question your career choices. (sad face)

@anunknowncomic

If you have time, check out my comedy prongcasts. Thanks

 

 

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Saving time online

Every month, for the last who knows how many years, I’d go into a bank and pay off my credit card.

In my relatively new role as a dad I’ve realised time is important, so in an attempt to save time, I signed up for online banking.

Naturally the first time I used it, I was unable to transfer the money, despite faffing around for 30 mins. Meaning the very next day, I had to go into a erm… branch to sort it out.

@anunknowncomic

If you have time, check out my comedy prongcasts. Thanks

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Where do you mix your porridge?

When making porridge I like to mix the milk and oats in the bowl as I can control the consistency. My other half persists in mixing it in the pan of milk.

With this in mind, where do you mix your porridge?

You can share your views via the comments button or @anunknowncomic

Til next time, be nice to each other.

If you have time, listen to my comedy prongcasts. (Just Press Play) Thanks