The Nowhere Men

I’ve recently finished reading ‘The Nowhere Men’ by Michael Calvin. It’s an insightful look at the role of football scouts. It has made me wonder if other sectors have a worldwide network seeking out talent. For example, are there stats people as we speak trawling through blogs and podcasts, configurating the consistency of content?

Last week at work I was invigilating. This gave me a lot of time to sit and think. One result of this sitting and thinking was that I wrote a poem called, ‘The Nowhere Men’. (see below)

@anunknowncomic

If you have time check out my comedy prongcast. Thanks

The Nowhere Men.

The nowhere men,
have nowhere to go.
So they plough the fields,
again and again.

The nowhere men,
have little to show
for all their toil.
Still hoping diamonds will grow,
in the long since plundered soil.

Atomised,
ostricised,
maligned,
sidelined.
Replaced by apps,
that read stats
as facts.

The nowhere men are considered a dying breed.
The nowhere men continue to dream.

 

Exposure

Two people I know from the Manchester comedy and poetry scene, Daliso Chaponda and Tony Walsh (Longfella Poet) have in recent weeks received TV exposure, making them known to people nationally and internationally.

Daliso was on Britain’s Got Talent, finishing third overall. Whilst Tony’s reading of his poem ‘Choose Love’ at the vigil for the Manchester bomb victims was broadcast live and has subsequently been transmitted across the world.

Both performers are talented having spent years working in pubs and clubs honing their skills but without the magnifying force of TV, when would they get the opportunity to showcase their work to such a sizeable audience?

Does this mean that despite the popularity and potential reach of social media, the only way poets/comedians can ‘make it’, is still via TV?

@anunknowncomic

Check out my comedy prongcast. Thank you

 

Theresa may have ballsed it up

Theresa May called the election so she could have a clear mandate for when she entered the Brexit negotiations. The only thing that is now clear is that she doesn’t have that mandate. If she truly believed in having this mandate she would have called the election and only when this mandate was secured would she trigger Article 50.

After her disastrous election, Theresa May is now saying the country needs a period of stability. If she really cared about stability she wouldn’t have called a snap election.

@anunknowncomic

Check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers

Should you wake a sleeping baby?

The week before the events in the previous blog post, this happened.

The baby was coughing in his sleep so I woke him to give him some medicine. Did he a) go straight back to sleep or b) was he still awake more than an hour later? Answers on a postcard to it’s always answer b with these kind of questions.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have any spare time, check out my comedy podcasts. Cheers.

 

 

Other pharmaceutical companies are available.

The baby’s sleep has not been at its best in the last few weeks. Initially we thought it was because he had a cold but the poor sleep seems to have continued long after the cold disappeared.

On the back of this the other half ordered a blackout blind from a well known pharmaceutical outfit (Boots). The blind was supposed to be ready for collection on Saturday. After being out all day, I had to run to said shop before it closed at 5:30, only to find the blind had not been delivered. I was however, assured it would be there on Monday.

On Monday the other half went to pick it up and it still wasn’t there. No one seemed to know where it was. In many ways it was the blind leading the blind.

Ps. We now have the blind, yet the sleep has yet to improve.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have time check out my comedy prongcasts. Cheers.

Call me Miss Marple

Call me Miss Marple. The reason I say this because I managed to reunite a man with the keys I found in a nearby street.

How did you do that I hear you ask?

The first thing I noticed about the keys was they had the same key ring as my own. Therefore I assumed it must belong to someone in the same building. I was able to confirm this when the fob opened the external door.

Although this got me a little closer to cracking the case, I still had a little way to go.

Some of you may have spotted that I’m using the plural ‘keys’. There was in fact two keys on the key ring, the door key and the key to the mailbox. A little bit like in Cinderella and the shoe, all I had to do was match the key with the mailbox and I would have the flat number the keys belonged to.

Three minutes of key turning later I had my owner and was able to return them. I have to be honest and say the owner seemed somewhat underwhelmed by my detective work even after I explained my process. His underwhelmness may have been due to him having  just woken up, unless he usually answers the door in a state of undress.

For my next case I will be looking into the links between the Trump administration and Russia.

@anunknowncomic

Should you have spare time, check out my comedy prongcasts. Thanks