Arron Banks gave Nigel Farage £450 000 to ‘fund his lavish lifestyle’.
a) Is this odd?
b) What does Arron get out of this arrangement?
c) How much would you give me to fund my less than lavish lifestyle?
d) Should I become friends with Arron?
e) Why does Arron spell his name with 2 Rs like no other Aaron?
@anunknowncomic Also check out my comedy prongcast. Cheers
Great news. 3Prong Attack the #prongcast I co-present have won the rights to the leadership debate – the Lib Dem leadership debate. We haven’t worked out the format yet but we’ve only got one mic & we need to be near a plug socket due to the short battery life of Prong2’s laptop. Still it can’t be any worse than the BBC’s effort.
My current financial strategy is based around the fact the football season has now ended. This means I won’t be watching any matches in the pub and spending £6.60 on my pint and a half per game (2 pints if I’m treating myself). The only problem with this strategy is the time I would have been in the pub will no doubt be swapped for family time which is likely to cost me more than £6.60.
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A couple of weeks ago whilst listening to BBC 5Live I learnt that you can transform your life for the better by humming for 10 minutes when you first get up. I could by now be living in some kind of elevated existence but I’ve spurned this opportunity because the idea of humming each morning seems a bit weird. However that’s just me, is anyone an advocate of humming, or would you be prepared to do it and let me know how it enhances your life. Cheers. You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic
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For a few months our blind in the kitchen was somewhat annoying me. Almost every week the plastic thing on the chain, that connects the two parts would get stuck at the top, whilst the blind would only be a quarter up. This would only only allow an unsatisfactory amount of light in. So every week I would have to get a chair, kneel on the sink, usually wetting up my knee, take off the blind, roll it up, only for the problem to occur a few days later. I had noticed that the inside of the big cardboard tube that the blind was attached to was a bit frayed due to the pulley system inside it. So I decided to cut off a bit off toilet roll tube and insert it into the big tube. I don’t want to speak too soon but for the last couple of months it’s worked perfectly. This may well be one of my biggest successes of the last 10 years.
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I stupidly wore a t-shirt with ‘crew’ on the back to a family friendly festival. At the end of the day, after all the bands had packed away, some children including my own were playing on the stage. I was hanging around at the back when one mum asked, “Are you waiting to take the stage away?” Do I look like a roadie?
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It’s coming up to my boy’s 3rd birthday and his family will generously want to buy him presents but what? He has plenty of toys and yet often seems to find more joy in playing ‘hide the potato’ but if we were to ask relatives to buy him a potato for his birthday they’d think we’d gone mad. Between the books he owns, the library and Dolly Parton who sends him a book every month, he’s fine on reading material.
Obviously I don’t want to stop people getting him something but was wondering if you and your family do some kind of alternative present giving.
Any suggestions will be considered. You can contact me via the comments button or @anunknowncomic Cheers
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Inside the mind of an unknown comedian 