Have you been overpaid?

Hola. Hope you are well.

I’m on half-term and I’m currently trying to do all those little jobs I’ve been meaning to do in the evening after work, only to put off til the weekend, only to realise that I don’t have the time to fit them in, on my two days off and the cycle begins again. Now doing these jobs, I can see why I didn’t do them in the first place.

One of the things I’ve had  to do is ring up my summer job, and explain that I’ve been underpaid. I spoke to a nice lady, who when I rang up asked me if “I’d been overpaid or underpaid”? Who in these tough economic times is ringing up their place of work to say they’ve been overpaid? I’m now imagining a scenario where someone’s ringing their work from a Caribbean Island, to ask if the £50 000 that was put in their account was supposed to happen or a mistake. Feel free to let me know if you’ve ever been overpaid by work, how much was it by and what did you do? You can contact me via the comments button.

Anyway, back to me and my pay discrepancy. You’d think in this situation, all they’d need from me is my name and maybe my National Insurance number and from that they’d be able to work out what is going on. As it happens for this to be sorted out I’ve had to go through my emails, looking for the payslips I’ve been sent, plus the dates I worked. This isn’t the hardest of tasks, it’s just a bit fiddley. My irritation comes from the fact this is not my fault and yet I’ve got to do someone elses’ job for them. I did my side of the bargain during the summer, I can’t remember anyone from payroll offering to do my job.

This is just a glimpse into the world of showbiz. This is the bit OK magazine don’t tell you about, probably for a good reason.

In some good news 3 Prong Attack (the double act I belong to) had a good gig last Thurs. I can’t help thinking I was influential in this happening as when we met up to talk about our set, I said that we should aim to get at least 2 laughs. I can’t imagine any other comedy duo having such a conversation. To most in the ‘laughter industry’, this would be considered a pre-requisite of the job.

The gig itself wasn’t without incident as the penultimate act, a white man, repeatedly used the ‘N’ word. I think he was trying to make some clever point about racism, but it wasn’t clear, so he just came across as a bit of a racist. The crowd took against him and booed him and told him to “Get off”! He ended his set by saying the audience were too thick to understand what he was doing, then pulled his pants down and waddled off stage. It may not have been his best gig, but some good did come from it, he’s now the new Chelsea captain.

Til next week, stay safe!

(Ps That ‘N’ word incident did happen, it wasnt just an excuse for me to do the Chelsea gag)


Twin perks

Hola. Hope you are well.

Last week was a slightly different blog post, what with it focussing solely on former paedophile DJ Jimmy Savile. (as he’s now known)

It’s not been a great time for charity, because not only has Savile, a man who’s helped raise millions for children’s charities been exposed as a serial sex offender but Lance Armstrong, who set up his own cancer charity, has been outed as a drugs cheat. Just today (Mon 22nd Oct) he was stripped of all 7 of his Tour de France victories and banned from cycling for life, although I doubt the latter will have much effect on Lance what with him having already retired from the sport. I’m now so sceptical about those who front charity campaigns that I seriously doubt Pudsey has anything wrong with his eye.

It’s a shame about Lance Armstrong, because he was the man who started the whole wearing of wristbands to support campaigns. For a period of time in the early noughties any issue could be solved by wearing a rubber wristband, whether it be racism or poverty. They were simpler times back then.

Now on to me. Being  a TA in schools I don’t get many perks of the job (ie added extras) but last week two of them were on show. Firstly, due to my working day finishing at 3:15 (out the gate 3:18) I was able to get back home  in time for the rearranged England v Poland match that kicked off at 4pm. This was the game that had to be postponed the previous day due to a waterlogged pitch, despite the stadium having a roof. And secondly, as the drama class I assist in were going to see the musical Blood Brothers, I was allowed to go along as staff, getting in for free. The third perk comes along next week as it’s half-term.

I’m sure other people have more glamorous perks to their job, ‘Her With One Permanent Job’, for example, not only gets free tea and coffee but has also been out to Peru and Kenya with work and Prong 2 (from the 3 Prong Attack radio show) can get free tickets to a specific theatre show (although not this weekend, when ‘HWOPJ’ wanted to take her colleague from Kenya). Feel free to let me know what the perks of your job are. You can contact me via the comments button.

And Finally… The other two notable things I did this week included buying a huge box of soap powder for £13:99 and writing to a MP about Wonga.com, it’s all part and parcel of being an unknown comedian.

Til next week, stay safe!


Who has keys to a hospital?

Hola. Hope you are well.

It’s hard to move these days without hearing another Jimmy Savile child sex abuse allegation. It’s hard to believe how widespread his actions were. It’s also unbelievable how quickly his reputation has been shattered. Before the ITV programme, ‘The Other Side of Jimmy Savile’ there were only ‘rumours‘ about him, mainly based on him being odd, looking odd, living alone and worshipping his dead mother.

After the programme aired, his family defended him by saying, these were ‘unfounded allegations’, a few days later they were removing his headstone. This was the result of continuous days of more and more people coming forward and saying they were victims of him. It got to the point where it wasn’t, will there be another revelation in the next day’s newspapers but from which decade it would come from.

At the time of writing the police are saying the cases of abuse span 6 decades and they are looking at 60 different lines of enquiry. It begs the question, how did he get away with it? How much did other people know? With it being so widespread, how was he not caught in the act? Some people have suggested that he got away with it because, “that was the culture” at the time, or he was able to get away with it because he was so powerful. How powerful was he? He was only a DJ and a children’s TV presenter (no disrespect to DJs and children’s TV presenters).

Others have said he was protected because he raised so much money for charity. I’m sure if given the choice, these charities would have preferred to have raised less money and not have a pervert as their patron. His charity work and fame does seem to have allowed him easy access to the vulnerable. For example, he was given a flat at a hospital and given keys allowing him access to various wards. Who has keys to a hospital? Especially when you’re an entertainer and not a medical person.I used to do hospital radio, and I wasn’t given keys to the radio studio, nevermind to areas where patients were.

It’s just a shame that these allegations have come out after he died. It would have felt more just if he were here in person to face these charges.

It may not be the most shocking thing about this case but who would have thought that something good could come from an ITV programme?

Til next time, stay safe!

I’m as fit as a fit 50 yr old

Hola. Hope you are well.

Last week I mentioned how we were all European after the Ryder Cup success, well today I am claiming my Caribbean roots after the West Indies became Twenty Twenty Cricket World Champions y’day. Who knows whose sporting success I will be clinging onto next week.

Talking off sporting success, sort of, I ran only my second ever 10k on Sat. The first one about 8 yrs ago, I ran in 52:51, so basing it on this time, I was aiming to do it in under 50 mins. So I was pleased that when I got my time it was 44:07 and I finished in 10th place overall. Admittedly it’s not the quickest time ever and I don’t think Mo Farah will be having sleepless nights, although he does have two new-born babies at home, so maybe he is. And as my mate pointed out, I just beat the time he did, the last time he ran a 10k. He did then go on to mention that the last time he ran a 10k he was 50. So I’m basically as quick as a healthy 50-year-old.

It does beg the question what was I doing 8 years ago, when I ran my first 10k? There’s two schools of thought, firstly, I’m getting healthier as I get older. If this is true then maybe I do have a chance of gold at the Olympics after Rio. Or it means 8 yrs ago I didn’t really know what I was doing. This is probably nearer to the truth, as my preparation included going out for a few jogs and not really knowing how far 10k was. Also on the day I ran with a training coat on, with my keys and other essentials in my pocket. Either they didn’t have baggage storage places back in the early 00’s or I didn’t know about them. All in all it proves to me, that the younger me was an idiot. And yet I can’t help thinking I would still be using these same training methods, 8 yrs on if  ‘Her With One Permanent Job’ wasn’t around to look up training routes and how many miles they are. I imagine in years to come the older me, will look at the current me and the things I do and think I’m an idiot. That’s something I’ve got to look forward to.

And Finally… Last week after his speech to the Labour party delegates and his slogan ‘One Nation’ I tweeted Ed Miliband, and asked him if he was a fan of 70’s funk and then put a link to Funkadelica’s hit ‘One Nation Under a Groove’ (genius I think you’ll agree). He didn’t reply. He’s not the first famous person to ignore me when I’ve randomly tweeted them. It seems if you’re not abusing famous people on Twitter they’re not interested. So with this in mind have you had a response from a famous person on Twitter? (feel free to contact me via the comments button)

Til next week, stay safe!


We’re all European today

Hola. Hope you are well.

I presume we are all golf fans today, especially if like me you’re European? I am of course referring to the Ryder Cup and Europe’s epic comeback to take the trophy out of the hands of the Americans. At one point I was following the game via Ian Wright and Robbie Fowler‘s Twitter feeds. It’s just how I roll.That and not having Sky.

One of the big talking points surrounded the fact that Europe’s top play Rory Mcllroy almost missed his game y’day as he set his alarm wrongly. He made it with 10 mins to spare but this made me think what has been the most important thing you’ve been late for? (Feel free to contact me via the comments button).

Whilst we’re talking golf, I think one problem with the game, is that the thing you hit the ball with is called a golf club but the place where you might sign up to play the game is also called a golf club. Surely someone should have foreseen this, there is no excuse for having the same term, for two different things within the one sport.

Talking of Twitter (see 1st paragraph), I was having a text conversation with a friend yday and she said I should be on Twitter, as I would get a following. I had to remind her that  not only am I on Twitter but that we follow each other. That’s the impact I have on Twitter. Plus I’ve yet to see this following. Should you wish to swell the number of Followers I’m at @unknowncomic.

My month of working 7 day weeks has officially ended, as my summer job finished y’day. After banging on about having to work two jobs during September and having no lie ins for a month, once it was all over, it was slightly underwhelming as after a day of sanding and painting railings (more the young people than me), we said our goodbyes and then my mind turned to, “how do I get home”?

Working a month without a lie in has neither been really hard, nor has it been easy, like a recovering alcoholic I’ve just taken it day by day. The stupid thing is the first day I should be having a lie in, this Sat, I’m booked in to do a 10K run, so not only will I have to get up early but I have to run just over 6 miles as well.

I say it’s my last day working for this organisation but in mid November they want me to work as part of their Big Sleep Out, as you might have guessed, it involves sleeping outdoors for a night. It’s to raise money and awareness for a homeless charity. I wouldn’t normally gravitate to this kind of thing, but how often are you going to experience what it is like to be homeless. Although having said that, our landlady has recently informed us that she wants to put our rent up by 13.3% so maybe this will be preparation for a future life.

And Finally… I may have been working two jobs, but one of my friends currently has 5 jobs. You wouldn’t have thought there is enough hours in the day to have so many jobs, but this is the case. So in honour of my friend, can you compete with 5 jobs?

Til next week, stay safe!